Happy New Year.

Goodbye 2010 .. Hello 2011!!! Here is to having a much better year finacially and nothing falling apart!! Maybe a Baby?

This year has been good and bad just like everything else :) But most of all, I have grown into a stronger person through this infertility struggle.. and my marriage is stronger because of it. So for that I am thankful in a weird way ;) I love my husband dearly and cannot wait to see what 2011 brings. I do hope a new decade means a bright new future for us. We are trying to do alot of stuff differently BUT not making resolutions.. because we never follow them ;) So just TRYING is good enough for us!!!

Here's to trying to be healthier and more at peace with this infertility struggle in 2011. May you all find peace and happiness.

~Much Love, Nicki..

Merry Christmas!!

We had a good day.. untill Danny had to go to work.. That just blew a big one.

Santa brought me lots of goodies :) I got
- Shirt I wanted from Old Navy.. except the under shirt.. they apparently did not have it in my size. And Online is OUT. BOO.
-6 tin muffin pan.. Yes I love to bake and did not own one! Thank you!
-An Awesome Cupcake, Cookie and Muffin Cookbook to go with it!
- A cute little Pumpkin candle holder!!
- One of those awesome new Cheese graters that measure!
- Beauty and the Beast!!
-Bad Kitten Calander.. Its hilarious.
-New Miche bag cover!!
-Cast Iron pan Woot!
-And Rascal Flatts new album :)
- AND a new pretty :) its a heart diamond pendants with a little heart off to the side with my birthstone <3

From Mom and Dad
- Mini Disney ornaments
- A Very pretty windchimey Mickey ears Ornament..
- A new watch
-A let it snow sign.. (still haven't seen more than an inch :( )
-And a pretty cute little sign that at the moment cannot remember what it says!

Danny made out like a bandit...
-5 Shirts
-1 pair of pants
-new sleep pants
-Madden 11
-The Hangover
-Buccaners Coffee mug
-2 colonges
-Fishing stuff
-Easton Corbin CD

From my parents
-Bib Overalls for hunting..
-Bullets
-Head mask thing for hunting
-Head lamp
( They are going hunting tomorrow haha )

We ended up having a nice Christmas! Had more of Christmas Lunch hahah since danny had to work.. Cooked ham in crockpot that was awesome. It just fell off the bone!! Kinda messed up my rolls.. But they were edible! My pumpkin pie was just a disaster.. haha but thats another story..i'm tired and Danny has to get up REALLY Early so they can go kill some Elk :) Hope all of my blogger friends had a very merry Christmas!!!

~Nicki.. (it can snow any day now.. we do not live in Fl.. It was 60 something degrees today.. INSANE!)

Baby it's cold outside....

Yes..its freezing.. and love it :) Now if we could just get more than a 1/2 inch of snow. There was frost on my car when I left work tonight! And lots of Fog.. That I could do without! Supposedly there is a 60% chance of snow tonight? Then there is a high wind warning tomorrow.. Oh Joy.. please dont blow away my inflatable snow man and Tigger!!!


Christmas.. Has turned out to be good this year. We scrounged up a bit :) and Danny got spoiled. Hahah This is probably the most I've ever bought him.. And there is so much more I can think of!!! At least Valentines and His Bday is coming up! Mine too..

Monday we're going to my Parents since we can't think of any other time to go up to get our gifts. I work Christmas eve so does Danny and I'm off Christmas.. But he's not. Its lame. So i'll be by myself Christmas day :( Oh well.. Gotta work to pay those bills!

Trying to get a hold of the money thing.. Argh.. It just never ends!!! I REALLY want to start treatments either Mid January.. or Feb... I feel like my lap was wasted.. I need to get my records from Dr. R.. But gotta finish paying the bill first. Ugh.. I STILL haven't gotten a Pap smear.. that was due in September.. Whoops... This time of year is so hectic and money draining.. it sucks.

I'm pretty sure I swear every year to start Christmas Shopping Early.. And never do! Maybe I should take note of what I didn't buy this year.. and get it for next year! Hah thats a smart Idea. Then I wouldn't have to keep asking.. What do you want.. or they need to come up with and App that lets you keep a running list of gift ideas you constantly think of. Damn I'm smart sometimes ;)

Work.. has been very exaughsting.. BUT I must say sex has been better since stopping treatment and just going with the flow.. BUT Its still there in the back of my mind little stressful thinking of did we BD at the right time? Did I Ovulate? Argh. I hate my brain.. When it gets going it just does NOT stop. It drives me insane. I swear i'm mental. Danny's job has gotten more stressful.. He's trying not to bring it home but it's there. Oh well.. such is life.. Other than that been doing Alright. All my Christmas deocrations are up.. Shopping is done, Cards have been sent :) Just waiting for the day I get to see what I got..I was a good girl this year.. and didn't see what I got ... except I know one thing *lmao* Thats Danny's fault. I sent him a pic of a shirt I liked in Old Navy.. and he left the hanger on the couch after he wrapped ;) Dork.

Do you know how much it sucks to shop with the person your buying for.. AND by yourself? It sucks alot. Next year I must have better planning.... UGH. I still have the shopping bug.. But I want to get stuff for me.. But we are BROKE until Thursday.. oh joy.. But I figured I'd check in and let you all know.. who read this anyways.. That I haven't fallen off the face of the earth :) Just busy!

Ohh I have to find time to bake somewhere....need to do a few goodie pkgs.. for a few of my coworkers because they are awesome :)!

~Nicki

Snoring....

It's 5:40 am.. wtf? I can't sleep wide awake.. too much junk running thru my brain to get back to sleep.. So here I am trying to type in the dark...(sorry if there is a bunch of typos) and Danny is snoring away in the bedroom!.

Work has been exaughsting...like its rediculous....Spending one day with Danny is starting to suck.. Been considering after the new year changing my days off... BUT this could do one of 2 things...

- Get my hours cut....because i'm 'not available'
- Or make me go Part time.. which is less hours.

It could be a loose loose siutation... Not to mention I'd be off Sundays...That would leave 2 people to work on sundays instead of 3.. Ugh I hate being the bad person but it's taking a toll on our relationship because we hardly see each other! This blows and I can't make up my mind!!!

As far as Christmas this year.. we have some how managed to scrounge up some money for our Christmas.. we will be going shopping in a few hours.. And I cannot think of a single thing to get him... Which is another reason i'm sitting here awake.

Danny just woke up and asked if I was ok.. Hahah I've been out here a total of 9 minuets *lmao* His body knows apparently when I get out of bed. I guess I'll try to go back to bed , Which could be bad because... I could end up with a headache.. Oh well..

Ok.. Now that I have some time!

Oi vey.. everytime I try and sit down and post on this.. my mind goes blank, or it gets erased.. or I get mad at something hahah. OK

So anyways.. not been having a few good months.. with anything.. Or year to beat that... With all the Car and house problems.. ontop of money problems caused by the said car issues and house issues... I've got close to 800 into my car just this year.. eek. Plus we had to tag New car and My car.. a month apart...that together was almost 600... Then fixing heater in house... 260. Eeek... That made us too short... so we had to rob peter to pay paul ( check loan) Not something I like to do.. But next month I can skip my car payment.. Thank you lord.


Oh and not to mention.. Noticed new car shaking as it got above 65...Wtf? Yeah go get tires balanced.. Rim is bent.. HOW IN THE HELL!? No clue how it happened.. Thats 210 dollars.. Ugh... its going to have to wait.. As it is we aren't having Christmas...No money, plus its on a Saturday... I work.. so does Danny. Maybe we will do it the Monday after? I would love to spend it with my parents with Danny.. I hate retail. They are not family oriented AT ALL!

On the Baby front.. Not sure when this is going to happen at all.. I have to start paying my mom back for paying to fix my car after the Holidays... I am GOING to see an RE if it kills me.. I will go hand pick up my records from Dr. R. That way I know I will have everything that he did.. Gotta finish paying the bill first. This month we having just been forgetting about OPKs.. i've just been temping its been all messed up.. No Idea when I O'd i'm on CD 29. BUT its been nice.. have been having a ton more sex as a result as there is hardly any stress..

This past Saturday, I went out with Danny and my best friend Kayla.. I missed her SO much and we hardly ever get to see each other! Totally blows.. we'll we went out had a BLAST just letting go.. drinking and dancing :)!! I hope we get to do it again soon. Of course this was AFTER we got ALL the way up there and I realized I didn't have my drivers liscense.. Oh it sucked I was so pissed. But we Booked it Danny did his best Dale Earndheart.( scared the shit outta me) We made it back home in 30 min.. on and hour drive. Then a little longer on the way back.. We made it back by like 10. And THEN proceeded to have a blast :)

Thats whats been going on with me.. Besides working and hating every min of it.. Seriously.. Its sucking. I wish I was in Wisconsin right now with my Family and Danny was out hunting.. Getting ready for Black Friday and all that good stuff.. And a FAMILY Turkey dinner.. Whats that? Haven't had that since 2005. Ugh.. Off to finish my shows.

~Nicki

Fucking Seriously!?!?!

Yeah.. Im done had a long post typed.. and its gone.. I'll try later her.. I'm dying here.

Blah!

I'm sick with a cold.. First one in a long time.. Last time I was sick was a year ago.. I had Brochitis/sinusitis... Almost pneumonia... Joy huh? That was my 2nd time with that.. This time I'm watching.. if my cough becomes mucousy.. and not productive.. i'm going to the Dr.. I do NOT want what I had last year it was terrible!! Right now i'm just stuffy.. my ears are all crackly with fluid and a can feel some mucous in my chest but not a lot.. Ugh..

Anyways.. On to what I really want to post about. I joined a fourm a little over a year ago.. Took me a bit to get up the courage to post. When I did.. it was a GREAT bunch of ladies and they we're so supportive. Sure I may no do personals ALL the time.. I do congratulate when something good happens etc. root them one with their treatments.. Then when I do my own personals.. Weather i'm feeling lousy or doing great.. I get nothing in return it seems... Which Isn't right... I don't know how to put it with out sounding like a horrible person.. So maybe i'll just hush.. Go about my ways, just read posts and continue my natural cycles( thats probably the reason I get no support...) Well you try for 3 years or more.. of REALLY trying.. and then tell me how you feel.. and how much support you would like to have and need... I really feel for the ladies who have been trying for a long time... Cause.. I'm getting up there with them.

On that front.. this month my temps are all over the place! OPKs.. I did a few then said screw it i'm not going to waste them.. what happens happens.. Temps are probably messed up cause i'm sick.. I haven't had any symptoms of O. and its CD 15.. no EWCM.. but oh well i'm not that upset.

I'm watching Bad Girls.. its funny hahah. I have nothing to do today.. plus i have no motivation due to sickness! Blargh.

It supposed to snow! We will see if Mr. Weather man is right.. the wind is picking up and temp is dropping a bit.. but not a lot of clouds! We will see :) Shows are on tonight! Plus a Jason thing on CMT.com!

~Nicki

Fan Crazy.

Yep I'm a giddy little girl right now having all sorts of day dreams of meeting Jason Aldean and going to a live show.. We were lucky enough too see him.. it seems like almost 2 years ago at the State fair.. Oh I was a a giddy little girl hahah! We stood in the rain and watched him..and got fairly close! And My 12x zoom digi camera helped too ;)






I WANT To Go again.. I don't care if I have to drive to Kansas, Texas, Nebraska or Oklahoma.. I'm going.. when his Tour dates for My Kinda party come out.. I will take my vacation around it Damnit.. And I want front row seats.. Meet and Greet would be even better... I would die and go to heaven... (you can thank my husband he let me listen to his music) Granted when more of his songs would have come out he would be on top of mylist!

Yeah so you remember Garth Brooks back in the early 90's, when the ladies would faint at his concerts? Yeah, Jason is my Garth Brooks.. I did have a slight obession with Tim McGraw.. who doesn't? That man looks hot in tight wranglers.. Phew. I saw him twice in less than a month my senior year of HS.. Awesome. Thanks Dad for being military ;)

Yep.. Jason is my new Tim.. I feel like a giddy school girl. But I can't help myself! Thank god he's married or i'd be a stalker!

I did tell Danny.. if he ever gets me tickets to his next show here... and a meet and greet.. and or front row.. I will buy him tickets to a Buccaneers game.. ( around the 50 yard line) I about shit myself when he said 1200 for 50 yd line front row tickets.. Wow.

Also.. I don't care if i'm 9 months preggo.. and waddling.. I'm going even if it throws me into labor! If I have a kid by the next time he comes.. I'm dropping them off at some relatives house.. No ifs and or butts!!

Ok.. School girl giddyness done :D !! And a Picture from that concert of that hot man. :D...




Oh he's not just hot.. He's and awesome performer too :) And his new CD is AWESOME.

Where did the time go...?

I cannot believe it's November... Its crazy how fast this year has gone by!

Not much has been happing with us.. Just working like crazy. My First cycle after surgery was a big fast bust. I did start temping... I'm hoping that my body is correcting itself.. the cycle felt different. especially around O time, I had some pains and my stomach got tender for few days. My temps did what they should do.. I have a good Luteal Phase and what not.. So We will see where this cycle takes us!

Danny has had the past 2 Tuesdays off.. that has been nice. I have a huge headache ugh! Bless this man's heart... Jason Aldean's new CD came out today.. Its awesome.. He has let me purchase 2 of them.. Why may you ask? Well.. Kmart offered a free calander poster.. Must have.. Then jasonaldean.com offered... A SIGNED copy.. A DEFF must have! I'm such a sucker... He must love me to let me spend 30 dollars for 2 CDs! I wanted to put the poster above the bed.. but that got shot down.. Damn!

Anyways.. today has been.. attempting to redo my iTunes.. Don't think i've told this story.. Well probably about a year ago.. my Dear Husband.. apparently needed to look at some porn while I was not home.. and KILLED my PC... I can turn it on..and then it just freezes on the Main screen.. you can move the mouse.. but no clicking allowed.. So my orginal iTunes Library for my Mini, Nano and Danny's shuffle.. TOODLES! ( not to mention all my pictures) And Apparently you cannot have 2 Libraries.. SO I had to ERASE my Nano.. SWEET ( not) I have a total of 52 songs left.. of ones that could be transfered from purchasing.. I used to have 2 days worth of music on that puppy... Yeah.. Not a happy camper!

SO for Danny's punishment.. before I did that..I wrote down all the CDs I had on there... inculding single songs from forever and a day ago...He has to find them.. ( we have and assload of CD's) Then He wanted me to purchase a song for him what was left of it iTunes money.. HA I don't think so. You made me kill my nano.. That money is MINE. So.. I am now about to redownload songs onto my ipod... This could take a while.. Wish me luck.. I'm starving and have a headache.. I'm grouchy.. I should make him do it. But I'm scared he will kill it.

Off to download.. god knows how many CDs to this thing!! ( thank god for External Hard drives )

~Nicki

Argh!

So... I've realized.. that I am SO at the bitter/angry stage of this whole infertility thing.. Such as.. why can't it be me... If my 350lb + cousing can get preggo.. why the fuck can't I? I'm not THAT over weight seriously!?! My sister is having her 2nd due in January.. and Here I am.. 2 years and some odd months.. still no baby.. Do I not deserve to be a mom? Or do I have to be in my 40s just to have ONE!?

We have never thought of adoption.. everyone keeps telling me there are plenty of kids out there who need homes.. Yes I know. Thanks. I just don't think its for us. But we will cross that bridge when we get there.. We're not even close yet.

I'm just so fustrated.. Money seems to be tight as always.. even getting rid of bills.. WTF!? We still have no heater... its getting colder.. Joy. Car needs tags.. still have NOT gotten the paper too see how much they are.. They are due in 9 days.. Not cool. So fustrating.. all we have to eat in my house is Chicken and Deer.. and NO sides... Pretty bland.

Argh.. I'm pretty sure this cycle is a bust. I'm very irritable which usually means i'm Super PMSy... joy! Oh well.. only 9dpo so far.. few more to go.

~Nicki ( yes i know this post was negative.. So sue me.. Its MY blog!)

*sigh*

Haven't been in the mood to blog lately.. not much going on.. 8dpo right now.. first cycle temping and my temps have been up for 8 days straight! Which means I have ovulated :)

Just been plugging along working funky hours.. making me really tired. I'm trying not to overanyalze or over think everything such as symptoms and such. Im just trying to let things take its course. Its kinda working haha but sometimes I'm like I hope I am I wish it was our time.. etc.

As far as the weight thing.. It kinda went out the window like it always does.. But I am trying to watch what I eat. I did buy some Special K granola cereal.. I cannot believe that the serving size is 1/2 cup.. That is WAY too much!! I barely had that and was full in a few bites.


Today is just chilling watching TV and doing some house work.. My spare room has a floor again! Woot! My house is clean :) Its exciting.. now for some laundry!

~Nicki

I'm tired...

I'm tired of hearing.. just wait it will happen...

I'm tired of hearing...your young.. You try for 2 years or longer and then tell me how you feel...

I'm tired of hearing... it will happen.. Yeah when i'm old and can only give birth to one child and not give them a sibling...

I'm tired of being tired with this journey.. We are at the same place we were 2 years ago.. only difference 4 medicated cycles.. and a surgery.. and No baby.

I had an inckling when I was getting older that I would have problems having kids.. this goes to show.. Never underestimate a woman intuition.. here we are.. having problems.. And its ALL ME. I feel useless.. broken and unfixable...

I know other ladies try longer before even achieving pregnancy.. but I can't help but feel like its been so long... I wonder what would have happend if we never used condoms and just BC? Would I have a 3 or 4 year old and be working on my 2nd with this problem? What would have happend if I never would have used that morning after pill because I was too scared of becoming pregnant at the time because I was too young at 21? What if.. why does life have a ton of what ifs? It sucks.. let me tell you...

I want a Dr that is going to want me to have a baby as bad I want to have one NOW. I Have yet to find this Dr.. apparently I might not be being proactive enough??

I want to take herbal supplements.. every where it says wait 3 months. Well you know what if your body needs it.. it will use it. So I say screw 3 months I'm going to still try anyways.. taking the vitamins or not.. It shouldn't kill me.

Thats how i've been feeling.. TIRED OF WAITING.

~Nicki

Why is it...

That a really hot country singer that looks so awesome in Wranglers and a Cowboy hat.. can totally just make my day?

Yes.. if I could just meet Jason Aldean.. I would be set for life.. He gives me the chills.. and when my husband wears his Levi's he does the same thing ;)

Hearing him sing "Heaven" With Bryan Adams.. Oh My God.. I just melt.. everything goes away.. just for a little while...it acoustic to beat..which makes it even better. This song should be on his next album.. even tho I know it won't be.. Which will be out in November. Two good things come in November.. Harry Potter and Jason's new CD :)


As you can tell.. I'm not having a good day.. Today is a crappy day.. I got hit on by some creepy dude.. I was helping him out with the lawn mower he just bought.. when I hear from behind me ' You look good behind that' I'm thinking OMG.. did you just say that.. BYE Hope to NEVER see you again!!! *GAG* THEN after lunch.. I Totally got farted on by some lady.. I CLEARLY heard her while I was down putting something on a shelf.. it was pretty audiable.. She didn't even apologize.. How Rude!

Then.. my mom called.. I want to go back to school SOOO BAD... Walmart sucks..But its a job... I screwed up my life royally by loosing that permit on base to be a dental assitant.. I'm always going to regret that. So I'm stuck at walmart.. no way to pay for any type of schooling.. It sucks.. I want a baby.. It seems like I can't have anything..

UGH.. I'm done for the night.. going to cry away a few boxes of tissues.. and call it good...

~Nicki

Experiment

I am going to attempt a weight loss experiment.. Going to start with Just eating the recommended serving that is listed on what I eat.. while staying a little under 1900 claories a day.. Since I've already eaten today with out looking hahah! ( it says that if I stay at a certian amount of calories I'll loose about a 1lb a week, which is healthy :) )

I'll start tomorrow! And then If that doesn't go to well.. I'm going to buy a new weight watchers calculator.. because sadly mine has lived its last breath :( BUT amazon.com I can get a used one for 25 bucks!! SCORE! Instead of like 40.. Thank you Stacey and ladies on my fourm that you can get the same stuff cheaper online :) Woot!

Can you tell i'm excited? Also need to start getting up and working out.. even if its for only 10 Min.. i'll work my way up.

ALSO going to look into herbal supplements for boosting fertility or possibly balancing out hormones :) I know of about 3 evening primrose, bee pollen and royal jelly. SO That is that..

I am finally getting motivation to get this ball rolling.. I would like not to set a goal for myself BECAUSE then I feel like I can't do it.. Whatever I lose I lose! To me this is realistic, because I always think goals are hard and unatainable.. thanks to my negative nature. Boo.

Danny hates that.. Hahah I always tell him we can't plan for things and such cause you never know what will happen or come up etc. Same thing with attempting to loose weight.. It would be awesome to have someone close by to try this with.. but hate to admit it... I don't Oh well! I will trudge along on my own.. Tomorrow starts a fresh start.. and I hope somewhere along the way a Baby will pop in !

~Nicki

Deflated....

Well...our appt did not go as planned.. we hoped to hear fantastic news! Instead we didn't.. We heard that my endo was severe... apparently you could not see my left ovary or tube when he went in. But it was all cleaned up and the kink was in my right tube.. SO I was just F'd up all the way around! I hope that this increases our chances.. as he is not willing to do medicated cycles until I get a 2nd opinion.

Why may you ask? Well apparently he wants to see if giving me Lupron Depot for 6 months.. (If I chose too) would be the best way to go.. or what treatment would be best for me. Joy huh? Yeah no. I've read some things about Lupron Depot.. AND have not heard of anyone with taking this drug.. plus the side effects are not appealing.. If I wanted to go thru menopause i'd ask to. Plus.. its supposed to 'reset' your hormones.. but all of my bloodwork came back great?


On Danny's side... He has 'over achievers' in the motility and volume department... BUT not in the morphology department, he's the lowest there. But the Dr. that did the analysis said that with his motilty and morphology being so high that it should not affect fertility. But Dr. R would like to get him checked out too see if it could possibly be fixed. We're cool with that...


So I was a mess.. I'm lost I don't know what to do or think.. I had a few break downs after that. But as the day wore on I'm thinking.. He never mentioned trying naturally.. or anything.. he said that I probably don't ovulate.. but I get post OPKs? And I have a period every month? I was confused on that one.. Any thoughts??

But we're going to try this month and see what happens.. I'm on CD 10 so just about right. We will make his appt and probably wait on mine incase this month gives me a rare Postive on a preggo test. After all I am cleaned out and unkinked.. After my worst period EVER. I passed a lot of tissue.. I'm hoping thats a good thing... We will see.. I'm trying not to think about it.. he did mention that does apparently cause issues... being stressed about the situation.. Well.. Sorry I can't help but think about it! I'm going to try this month... try not think about it.. Overly much. But I cannot make any garuntees.. I need to loose weight..i'm working on Gideons scrapbook... That and loosing weight I would hope help me keep my mind off of it.. and leave it in Gods hands to see if he will bless us with our miracle we so desperatly want.

Its killing me to see how wonderful my husband is with kids... babies and the like. I wish for nothing more for me to give him a child of his own.

~Nicki taking it one day at a time...

*sigh*

I was bad... I caved.. I .. or I should say We couldn't take it anymore.. 2 weeks is frankly too long to go with out relations...Now i'm regretting it :( Hope it didn't screw anything up.. Its not like it was rough or anything. But we both feel some stress relief haha well relief in general!

As I sit here and watch Biggest Loser.. It makes me want to be proactive about this whole thing.. granted I do Not weight over 300lbs thank god..might as well be... I'm lethargic 80% of the time, I get out of breath easy.. and some other things associated with being overweight. ARGH.. Small steps.. small steps need to take them...

I am SO ready for Monday to get here.. so We can go to the Dr and figure out the game plan... Ugh not ready for a full work week..Ew..

~Nicki

Its Offical...

I HATE My mother in law.. She is words can't even describe.


Danny came home I asked him ' How much sugar he puts in his coffee' Because it was all gone And I needed to make bannana nut muffins.



I will finish this tonight *lmao* Just watched a funny ass thing on TV...

Ok.. After a not so good day.. I'm back! After a funny ass moment on Top Gear, I could not type with tears in my eyes from laughing so hard and all thought left me...

So anyways... after asking about how much sugar he responds with ' Don't i'm stressed i'll leave' in a very angry voice.. WTF? I asked why and he goes I want to give my aunts a piece of my mind etc etc.. Mind you he doens't even SPEAK to these 2 women.. I'm sure everyone would like too give them a piece of something.

Then he proceeds to say his mom is so stressed from watching her great neice and nephews... she is on vacation and says that she just might quit.. well what the fuck is that going to solve?

So he starts going off and crap saying that he's going tell them off. I say what will that do? Nothing. Not a damn thing.

Then he wonders why they hell i'm mad? WTF!? Seriously you HAVE to ask that? First of all.. I'm sick of your mother begging for you attention when you get close.. we've already come about an inch from divorce beacuse of this woman.. and its happening again.. She has called me a bitch too many times.. now brining her personal problems on my husband? I know he's your son... but come one..we have our own problems.. he doesn't need to solve yours!

If you don't want people walking all over you.. say NO and MEAN it once in a while.. If you don't want to watch your great niece who is 6 months old for 3 day straight because her mom is doing what her mom did to her.. Say ' Come get your kid I'm tired' Plain and god damn simple.. Seriously.. SAY NO... Don't tell your son your problems and expect him to fix them.. Cause lady It AIN'T happening!

Then.. i'm sitting on the couch all quiet and asks if i'm still mad.. Yes i'm still mad because my husband overreacts and I hate it.. aboslutely hate it. Thinks so irrationally.. that it won't do any good to act on what you just said you were gonna do.. So yes i'm still mad...

Here's the thing.. He can't be mad at something I do.. and then I get apparently get mad when he does something? Excuse e' moi' You get mad when I do.. So why the fuck can't I get mad at something you do? I'm sure this happens in every realtionship.. I told him its life get the fuck over it.. I'm tired of you coming up with the same arguments over and over! And Apparently when i'm upset he feels bad? Well I would assume so.. so then when he's upset I can't be mad and let it stew and get over it on my own time.. I have to be over it then and there.. No. Sorry. If I want to stew I should be able to Stew. So when that wonderful feeling of 'Oh i've made her mad... what an ass I am.. ' You should be upset I think.

So.. Needless to say.. I've done everything myself today.. with out asking for help...He has tried to suck up horribly today.. All dishes done and put away.. bought a small bag of sugar.. vaccumed.. and changed the sheets.. Typical man.. not sure if its worked yet.

ARGH.Oh and AF showed up today.. Joy.
~Nicki

I'm such a sap...

I cried at Forrest Gump.. Who cries at Forrest Gump!?! Apparently I do.. I never used to cry at ANY movies.. then I saw Pearl Harbor.. and it was over hahah First movie i've ever cried at. And every thing after that that has anything remotely sad.

I'm probably really sappy right now because I think AF is about to arrive. I just really want to start a new cycle.. but I don't know. I'm not sure how aggressive my Dr. is wanting to be with treatments.. I'm glad we're getting procedures out of the way, BUT I want to start treatment like NOW.. i'm not getting any younger here.. I'm about to turn a quarter of a century old.. And i'm feeling it.. trust me. I have bags under my eyes, horrible chin acne problems when i never used to .. EVER. Wrinkles.. Horrible dry crocodile skin.. Overweight.. ARGH *screams*

I hate PMS...Enough said about that..

I seriously need some motivators or something because.. I came home.. after working 7-3 took an hour and a some change nap... went and Got subway and a pint of B&J cookie dough ice cream.. Came home sat on the couch checked FB and such... and Now I just got done watching Forrest Gump.. The entire thing.. cause there was nothing else one. I wanted to come home work on our Classic winnie the pooh puzzle.. and maybe scrapbook.. But I didn't.. I didn't move. Sad I know...

After my post op i'm seriously wanting to start exercising ... A little bit by a little bit.. we will see how this goes... I think i'm done.. I might have a break down when Danny gets home.. I can feel it building. BLAH

~Nicki

Few things on my mind....

I think I over did it a bit today.. Bending over in the garden, bending over to fold, wash and dry laundry... Did a butt load of dishes... and vacuumed.. Ugh. And we made yet MORE pickles.. ( I can tell i'm tired.. I just had to retype pickles about 5 times) I made dinner for myself.. and Brownies.. Which I have had.. about 3 I'm stuffed.. So I guess that means no Reese coldstone ice cream for me.. Boo. Oh well I don't need it anyways ha!

On the infertility front.. I'm excited and nervous to get on the bandwagon again.. Knowing that some endo and a kinked tube was unkinked and removed.. what will happen now? A quick BFP or a longer struggle? I'm hoping that my body cooperates with me.. I'm due for AF in about 8 days.. If that happens.. I will be right on time.. and could do a Cycle starting right after my Post Op on the 4th.. I'm praying and hoping thats what happens.. if not.. maybe ANOTHER natural cycle would end up in a miracle BFP? The question is out there somewhere.. Just hoping and praying that something happens!


Here's something I've always wondered.. People always ask me why I have to buy name brand stuff, granted I'm getting better at buying non-name brands.... I Figured out why on a few items as to why I like name vs. non...

~Non brand Peanut butter.. Taste WAY too sweet.. Jiff. Is JUST RIGHT.. Danny doesn't care hahah

~Cling wrap.. just discovered this one.. Great Value Does NOT have little teeth to rip with.. Glad Cling wrap. DOES. Amen.

~Laundry Soap.. Lower name brands don't get your clothes clean and they don't smell as good or are over powering! I use All :) it smells fantastic and gets my clothes clean! (Granted this is personal preference)

Hmm.. i'm sure there are a few more but those are the major ones I can think of :)

Ahh Fall.. I LOVE Fall.. Now if it would just get COOLER!!! With Fall brings the comfort of Baking and Cuddling up on the couch.. Pants and all my cute shirts :) haha! Oh and my cute Justin Boots!!

My garden.. is dwindling.. I now know why I HATE growing tomatoes.. they are easily infested... Yeah.. My volunteer tomato has Aphids AND Spider Mites.. Nope not growing anymore even for Salsa.. I'll go buy umpteen million lbs of maters for making Salsa.. Our Pepper plants are finally starting to Die.. We have LOADS of peppers left.. Its crazy. I keep finding ridiculously larg Cucs... I'm talking would cover a 1/4lb burger, you'd have a pickle in every bite! I did pick one that made a whole pickle he's marinating in the fridge as I type!

I now have 3 sugar pumpkins.. just noticed the 3rd this morning.. I'm not water as much so I'm not sure if he will be tasty... The 2nd is turning orange.. lets see if the 3rd makes it!

Speaking of pumpkins.. I know its only the 21st.. We got our pumpkins for carving.. We get ours from a local guy in town.. he grows MASSIVE Pumpkins! Its crazy! His biggest one came up to almost my waist.. It would have taken a few hours to clean him out! (But I still want him) We picked 3 HUGE Pumpkins for 20 bucks :D!

Now if you know me or my parents.. this is one thing that is a MUST at Halloween.. I've done it every year since I can remember... Yep even when I was out of HS... and in College.. Just ask my parents.. I Beg.. and or Go buy my own.. Danny never did this much growing up.. I think its a wonderful thing to do! Its fun sticking your hand in the goop and scooping out the slime! Sometimes we bake the seeds :) Just like going to cut down a Christmas tree every year has become a tradition.. This has too... Its good to have them :) I was estatic when we drove by on the way to the bank that he was selling.. So.. we had to stop by... We got 3..!! Here they are!





And just so you can get and Idea of the size...








And just because :) This was from a random road trip we took a couple weeks ago.. we Ended up at Lake O'haver.. It was so beautiful and peacful!




Sorry for the Long winded post!

~Nicki

Forgot to mention!

That the nurse said I don't look 24 :D and that they thought my mom was with my husband *lmao* Then danny was self conscious about his hair all day... *he has premature balding* Poor guy :) I still love him!

Yesterday we went shopping with mom.. got 2 pairs of jeans and cute top, and new tennis shoes :)! Danny got a new pair of jeans yay! I was about 3 inches away from fitting into Levis.. So close hahah! Dunno I just like those jeans :)

One thing that sucks.. is im in the mood.. and can't have sex *pout*

Think the gas is mostly gone.. Thank god! That was miserable!!! Well off to do errands for the day.. Get out of the house !

~Nicki

Well I guess...

I'm doing good after surgery... Frankly the worst part is the Gas.

So the morning of surgery I was really nervous.. of course starving. But we get there I really have to pee.. and of course the bathroom was full.. then it was full again.. I'm like I HAVE TO PEE! I just drove and hour and a half to get here.. let me pee! My mom met us there.. she was freaking out asking how many surgies he's done etc.. Well I'm pretty sure if he studied with the guy who came up with this surgery I'll be O.K.

She was pretty freaked out that I was going under.. well so was I, but i'm pretty sure i'd wake up haha. We watched the Price is right.. got my IV... OW. I do not like them.. They hurt. Why must you have a giant floppy plastic like needle drive fluid into your body? Just let me drink.. i'm sure i'd much rather have a catheter... maybe not.. just give me some depends then. It hurt the entire time.. Apparently Red heads with freckles have sneaky veins.. Thanks lady...

BUT I am thankful she got it on the first try! Last time it took 3.. Owie. All of the nurses we're VERY nice so that made it very pleasant as could be anyways..!

The scariest part was them rolling me back to the OR.. I've never had this before.. I was asleep before they took me back for my foot surgery... so that was a bit nervous.. But then I was out and awake before I knew it.. I woke up saying I forgot I was having surgery.. ha! My throat was really irritated.. so I felt like I couldn't swallow... that wasn't cool.. I kept clearing my throat and the nurse said to stop that.. Yeah right It felt good! Got some feel good meds and was off to recovery. Feeling pretty dam good!

I Could feel like I was bleeding... the lady never put a pad under me so I was all messy.. sorry for TMI. Got to recovery.. was just sleepy but wasn't feeling too much pain. Just 3 little inscions glued with derma bond.

I was feeling pretty good the rest of the afternoon.. not to hungry. I had to sleep on my back.. I HATE sleeping on my back... The gas made it hurt to sleep on my side... So needless to say I slept like Shit.

Next day was ok.. Was not hungry AT ALL.. Full feeling all day and nauseous.. Yuck. Gas bubble seemed to get worse under my shoulder couldn't nap/sleep at all.. then I developed one under my rib cage.. X_X That one sucks. It jus stabbed and stabbed.

Had a crying fit.. that made it worse! All i wanted to do was sleep... took one percocet before bed.. laid with heating pad on shoulder to attempt to sleep.. finally drifted off.. woke up at 4 took another percocet.. then woke up @ 10:30 ha! Still feel tired tho.. Only have had to take 2 Ibuprofen most of yesterday and today.. Appitite came back somewhat today.

Thats about it Moms coming down tomorrow to take me shopping. Woot :)! Only thing i wish would go away is stabbing pains in shoulder and under ribs.. They Suck.

As for having endo. I have a little bit( mom said she thinks everythin was fine because everything in the pictures was all pink) I told her of course it would be... it looks like it should be there plus she has NO idea what she's looking at.. Also One tube was kinked but came Unkinked when flushed :)! I will know more as of the 4th so untill then more waiting...Boo.

~Nicki

Long.. Long few months ....

And it just keeps getting longer!! Sorry for the lack of updates.. time is just flying by.. I cannot believe it is almost the middle of Sept!! CRAZY. Christmas will be here before we know it.

Well In good news.. we are rid of the Jeep :) and are now the proud new owners of a brand new 2010 Ford Fusion!!! We love it! We don't have to worry about coming up with 1000 bucks just to get the jeep ready for winter this year :) I'm excited about that hahah!

In bad news.. My car got fixed.. that threw us 671 dollars in the hole.. But thanks to my wonderful parents for letting us pay them back when we can! So.. need to pay $134 dollars for tags for the jetta.. don't want to know what the Fusion will be.. Eeek! And have to fix heater before weather gets cold. At least we have a fireplace if need be!

Gardening is coming to a close.. we made some awesome salsa.. don't know if i mention that in my last post.. it took 15lbs of tomatoes.. But it SOO good.. Ate my watermelon.. it was scrumdiddlyumpscious!(no idea if thats spell right but its the right word haha!) Still have a few jars of pickles to make and pumpkins to pick :) but they aren't ready yet!

I'm getting very nervous. My lap is on Thursday at 1030 am.. yikes! Of course my mom listens to everyone but me.. saying that I will get preggo the month or 2 after this.. while I wish and pray that will happen.. I am not getting my hopes up! But i'm praying like mad that it will. That would be the best Early Christmas present EVER. (but the thought of being preggo during the summer down here is not equally as pleasing but i'll take it ;) )


My allergies were doing great.. Then I went and topped my volunteer tomato plant.. bad Idea.. and I got a Mosquito bite on my boob.. It sucks.

I think that is all.. I'm going to go be nervous and keep blowing my poor little nose and watch the finale of Americas got Talent and then the premiere of Parenthood!

~Nicki

Canning... and gardening :)

I am thoroughly enjoying this new found thing!! It takes sometime but Its all worth it in the end!

Now I just need to get a bigger garden to yield more hahah and have some fruit trees and I'll be set!

Me and Danny we up till.. get this.. 3 AM.. EEK! So didn't expect it to be that late! But we have a case worth of Salsa!! ( recipie from pickyourown.org) and More pickles (we cut them thicker this time) They were a little mushy when thin... So they better be good.. I'm tired..and we got 8 hrs of sleep.. I'm not exactly having the healthiest lunch.. Hahah Amp and sinckers! I need a boost before work.. Totally exhausted..!

We experimented with Green Beans.. we dill pickled them.. Kae at work said a guy swears by them.. So we will see... We still have a mass of Jalapenos that need to be picked.. They will be pickled also.. just not dill hahah. Unless danny wants them that way I don't eat them! we have 3 over flowing plants.. The season is coming to and end. Its getting cooler .. Sort of.. we condsider 80 cool haha! No its getting in the low 40s at night.. first frost is FAST approaching!! Grow Watermelon GROW!!! and My pumpkins ;) I have 2 Now! Mr. Watermelon sounds hollow as hell.. he has to be close!! But no sign of him letting go of the vine.. Boo.

I love how I can grow my own produce and can it and preserve it!! Its an awesome feeling :) something that got lost along our current day and age! It tastes SO much better than store bought! I'm just tickled pink with myself :)

I was going to type something else.. but I lost it.. I'll get back to you on that haha!

~Nicki

Mom might be right...

In the fact that I might have a Sinus infection.. Ugh.. or an ear infection.. Either way I am not feeling so hot. Clogged ears... Nose and Mucos central! I need to make an appt.. For my woman 'well check' Boo. Guess I could bring this up while there.. and maybe get some free samples of my nasal spray hah! Blah.. I'm SO tired lack of sleep sucks... I get to sleep in tomorrow :D!

Is it sad.. I got off work 3 hours ago.. and I have NOT moved from the couch or the computer? I think so.. Oh well.. I'm pooped! Should be making salsa.. and taking clothes out of washer.. Ha! I'm being extremly lazy right now.. and about to fall asleep.. so the post I was going to make.. Is going to have to wait!!

~Good Night!

Google=bad!

I Don't like google anymore.. It made me sad :( I hope that if I do have endo that its not bad. Because I cannot afford IVF... now or anywhere in the future.

In other news.. My eyes are horrible today... I think benadryl has stopped working for me.. Which sucks.. PLUS I think I', either getting an ear infection or a sinus infection.. cause when I Blow my seriously clogged nose.. my ear pops.. Oh joy!! Ugh.. Oh well what can you do.

I think I have psoriasis or eczema because I keep getting little random dry patches sometimes in the same spots.. or different spots.. and the one on my foot is itching like crazy.. and its a few inches from where I had the last dry patch that lasted FOREVER...

Today was a good day.. Laughed my ass off watching Top Gear.. then Was traumatized by a spider landing on my shirt.. Hyperventilating and crying was involved.. Yes I am an Arachnophobe. That was my worst nightmare happening before my eyes.. So not cool... Thank god it wasn't huge or I might have died.

I Need a good cry... and I do not forsee it in my near future. Possibly Monday? Now I gotta tell Danny that if I have severe endo..we can kiss kiddos good bye... We both have never even talked about adoption or even have the urge to do it.. Its not for everyone.. and I think i'm one that its not for.. *sigh* thats a whole other thing in itself!

~Nicki

*sigh*

So life isn't getting any better down here.. Now my car is dead.. It wasn't the thermostat.. so its either the water pump or a head gasket.. Nice huh? Like I said with my luck its going to be the most expensive thing... So I say Head gasket.. We're taking it Monday or Tuesday morning to get it tested for free..(Thank god for my inlaw and her mechanic)

As for other things... I've been in a very sour mood lately.. I blame AF on her way.. should have started 4 days ago.. and I know i'm not preggo... Not to mention.. I've discovered something.. I have NO Lidbido.. none.. zip zero zilch.. and when I do.. Danny isn't home..he does something stupid.. and or I'm in the mood and I can't bring myself to go in for the kill.. And I don't know how to fix this...

Like right now.. I want to.. but I don't want to? I am so attracted to Danny.. he's lost a bunch of weight and looks pretty sexy If I do say so myself.. Me on the other hand.. Am full of flab and an extra 60 lbs... I do not find myself remotely attractive...so i guess I don't see how Danny does either..

Ugh.. I'm just a mess.. wish there was something I could take for libido.. but I'm to embarassed.. I'm 24 years old I shouldn't be having this problem right now.

I think i'll go dig into my banana bread I just made.. Yum.. Yep shouldn't have even made it or eat it.. but i'm gonna.. I'm such an emotional eater.. its horrible!!

ARGH! Fustration!!

~Nicki

Really... Really.. REALLY?

So... today I had my appt with the Dr.. everything was going great.. Car was fixed, weather was gloomy that kinda weather! On time.. Then.. we go in the office.. ( I didn't get asked to pay my co-pay so that bill i'm sure will be in the mail) All of my labs are perfect! I very unlikely have PCOS...He thinks I have endo... and I have a cyst on my right ovary.. Boo. So.. I'm schedualed for a Lap and an HSG (i'm assuming he called it some weird long C name) The 16th is when its schedualed for.. I'm nervous as hell and don't know what to expect!.. Danny was almost in tears (kinda funny)

We're getting in the elevator I see his bottom lip puff out.. I

Me: whats wrong?
D: I just got told my wife has to have surgery
Me: well I was kinda expecting it.. get it out of the way so we're not 5 months down the road and 4 failed cycles..
D: Thanks for keeping me in the loop
Me: you don't ask questions on anything.

So.. Then we head home... I get a perfect Starbucks carmel machiato.. Then we're off to Panara bread for a cinnamon crunch bagle *love* We get there.. Get it.. smooth sailing.. OH NO! We get just past Ft. Carson.. all of a sudden my cooling gauge goes thru the roof and the little senser is beeping.. a trail of fluid is leaking from my car as I pull over.. SERIOUSLY!?!? (Mind you this happened as my car JUST reset its self from the replacement of the nutral saftey swtich..) I about died.. we eventually make it back to Safeway get water in hopes thats it.. Nope 2 hours later after pulling over 500 times to let the engine cool and put more water in.. we make it home... Holy crap.

Thankfully a thermostat does not cost and arm and a leg.. Praise the lord! Its waiting to be put in tomorrow..

I guess I should be thankful that

~The Roof is fixed ( Thank you Dad)
~My car WAS fixed at least this next one is hopefully a cheap fix.
~New door on Water heater a REAL door haha Hinges and all!
~Caulking around windows redone...(Thanks Babe)
~Weeds semi controled ( thanks mom)
~Allergies have been decent lately :)
~My garden is growing wonderfully! ( Picked my first cantaloupe!



So Yummy!!

Lets see what else.. I'm dead tired.. I have done all the laundry.. just gotta fold the Whites.. I'm leaving the putting away for Danny haha.. Dishes are done.. I had a WHOLE post written out in my head... hahah Of course its gone! Oh well!

I took a bunch of pictures of my garden, as I just love it and hope next year it will be better than this year!


My Watermelon I hope it gets the 35-40 lbs its supposed to before the weather gets cold!!





My lone Sugar Pumpkin! All the other ones keep falling off :(




My 2nd Cantaloupe hope its ready in a couple weeks!



I seriously hope september brings much better new and luck.. I must have broken a mirror, walked under a ladder, or killed some bamboo somewhere along the line.. God If your reading this.. Please let me have some better luck Next month.. and forthcoming months.. my poor sanity can't take much more thanks.. and much love

~Nicki

PS: Yep its along one!! Hope you all enjoy my garden :)We have more Jalapenos coming out are EARS!

Sunburn...

I got sunburnt yesterday.. Not too bad tho.. just enough to bug me with the bra I'm wearing!!! My mom and Dad came down and help us tear down pesky weeds.. that cause my allergies.. yesterday My eyes we horrible..I'm pretty sure I have diagnosed myself with allergic conjunctivitis... Not pretty.. But basically the allergies give me 'pink eye' but in a non contagious way.. only to myself and other eye ball.. JOY!

Who should I go see.. my GP or eye Dr? Hmm.. 30 bucks or 50? I think i'll call my GP and make an appt I'm miserable...Today.. *knock on wood* they arent as bad.. but my throat hurts and my ears itch.. from sinus drainage.. BOO.

I'm tired and want to do nothing but sleep... Thank god it Friday.. Since I only have one day off with Danny now.. (They changed his days to Sunday Monday) Tuesday I'm going to attempt Menu Planning!! I found a nifty website that will hopfully help!

www.dinnertool.com

It seems easy to navigate and plan! And you can make grocery lists on it!! Also I think I will bake on Tuesday.. Like making homemade bread :) and Pumpkin Oatmeal Cookies~!! A Recipie I found in a Halloween cook book :)

I'm ready for fall.. Hence the baking of Cookies and Bread haha! Cooler weather.. I can handle Low 80s and 70s... the 90s and above are getting old!!

Ugh.. Danny should hurry up with my lunch I made him go get Subway :) Plus he needs to get fixing the car!!! I like the truck and thank god we have it.. Or we'd be screwed! Also.. I'm anxious I have to call Dr.R on monday to see whats up :) .. And i'm getting sidetracked hahah So i'll stop for now!!

~Nicki

Allergies...

Why.. oh WHY Do I have to suffer from this ailment? They only ever effect my EYES and nose.. horrible! I'm going to have to break down and call my Dr to see if they do allergy shots.. or if I have to go to an allergist! Its getting really unberable.. so much I came home from work early today.. I was a walking zombie.. seeing as how Benadryl is the ONLY thing that makes the itching in my eyeballs stop.. UNLESS I walk around with Ice cubes on my eyes.. Not so attractive.. I already get weird looks holding my Frozen waterbottles to my eyes.. I reply 'Allergies' then show them my swolledn super RED eye.. and they cringe...

Ice cubes seem a little impossible tho.. as you cannot see out them so.. scratch that till i'm at home!

Going to take another benadryl curl up on the couch and watch Harry Potter :)

~Nicki

*sigh of relief*

Well today started off getting up early for my ultrasound... Got there.. its a male u/s tech.. Eh.. Not so cool.. But might as well get over it.. since OB is one hahah He was really nice :) BUT the machine did not want to cooperate.. He said we just might have to reschedual.. *me thinking* OMG NO I just got up at the crack of dawn and drove and hour and a half in the horrible jeep and you want me to resched!?!?!? Thank god he got it up and running!

It was weird.. Different and not as uncomfy as the first on I had done.. I got to see blood flow it was cool hahah! And Apparently I have a good cushy endometrium :D Perfect for a little eggy!

After that.. it was like a short appt... but anyways we stopped at Starbucks... here's a vent. I don't drink coffee very often... like ONLY Starbucks.. We don't have them where I live.. So I only get them when i'm tired or need a boost when i'm in Springs... Ordered my Carmel Macchiato with extra carmel ;) ... Not so good service at that one..yes I know it was early and your busy with your regulars..But I was really wanting/ needing that coffee..She was talking to apolice officer( they had a window broke) and ignored the extra carmel part... BOO. Coffee SUCKED.. Thanks lady.. Customers FIRST!


Work.. thuroughly boring.. besides 10 racks of flowers we were not expecting! Get home, message on machine... Dr.R!! Saying that all looks well for this cycle :D!!!! Have to call him back on Monday for more details :)! Maybe i won't have to drive back up Tuesday! Woo!! I'm excited!

~nicki

Seriously?*venting big time*

I swear this has been the worst year of my life to date... Not only do we need to come up with some serious odd dollars to fix my ailing life.. It has nothing remotely to do with my health.. but everything else.. Cars.. House and work... Seriously I don't need anything else to go wrong that already has...

So.. here is a list of things that have happened so far this year...

- Altenator on my car went out.. went thru 2 of them and a battery to fix the problem... That cost over 200 dollars...

- Windsheild on My car and Dannys needs to be replaced.. 100 bucks a pop...Still needs done..

-Door that covers hot water heater... is broke.. temporary fix..that is NOT holding.. needs a new one before winter.. No idea of cost..

-Roof.. JUST done in Febuary.. Needs roofing tar around heater vent.. because its leaking and runined the furnace part we JUST had put in.. thats 300 and some change...

-Septic needs pupming.. thats going to run about 300.. (just remember this)Joy.

- I would love to call an exterminatior.. to fumagate my house.. seeing as how I have drain flies infesting my spare bath.. and also the crawl space.. as I Hate spiders and the ones my cat killed last night.. they are not welcome in my house.. I had a heart attack.. it was 2 ft away from me.. NOT COOL.( No idea the cost)

- And just today! My car no longer starts.. No its not the Starter or the altenator.. or the battery.. You guessed it! Its the Nutral switch! It says my car is in Reverse.. but its in park.. So I don't have a car.. Its going to cost 128 bucks to replace a stupid piece of plastic with wires.. WTF!?
this
I'm so done.. what else can seriously go wrong? We were so counting on Dannys raise this past paycheck... they screwed him out of that.. so we got the full blunt of the pay cut.. of 2 1/2 percent.. Yet these state mother fuckers want to open a NEW STATE OF THE ART PRISION That is going to cost Lord knows how much and need 834 Staff.. to open ONE SECTION of a 8 Wing Prision.. Thats fucking rediculous.. if you cant afford to pay your people you won't get them to work for you anymore than they do now... Just kill some of the mother fuckers that are in there for life ... make some room.. Seriously.. (yeah I know thats harsh..but i somewhat beileve in the death penalty)

In other crappy news.. I have been having serious problems with my allergies.. I have to be doped up on Benadryl.. and then hardly function.. Its impeeding my daily life.. I scratch my eyes SO much its retarded. I looked like a Raccoon the other night.. Danny will no longer have the same days off as me.. He's still on swings... but it still sucks.. I have Monday Tuesday he has Friday and Saturday. Blows a big one.. I am due for my annual 'womanly check up' Was supposed to be this month.. but I think i'll have to have it done in September.. I have my ultrasound with Dr. R Thursday.. I'm not sure what to expect.. Thank god I get paid Thursday or I would have to call an cancel.. So looks liked we're driving the Jeep.. OH JOY (I hate this thing I wish someone would steal it)

I have to figure out something to seal the roof with.. the adjuster said roofing tar.. But i have a feeling its going to cost and arm and a leg.. for a gallon... and I guess we will have to go up about every 6 months to a year and look at it.. damn mexicans.. cheape labor.. = cheap job..( no offense to anyone of hispanic decent just the idiots who did my roof) they never sealed it.. and broke the welds on the vent.. AWESOME. Mother of jesus.. what else can go wrong? I'm seriously at my wits end.. Like.. I could get Dannys shot gun and shoot myself.. good thing I don't know how to load a gun or know where his keys are to the locks. ( I would never do this I'm too much of a chicken)

Throw it at me.. See if I care...I would like to know how it could get worse.. I guess having the Jeep and Ford go caput would just kill me.. I'm thinking there will be no christmas this year.. Just a gift for mom and dad.. and Gideon. Oh which by the way I can't vent to my mom apparently because she thinks i'm asking for something.. Nice huh? Danny wants me to tell him whats wrong and to let it out.. Really you NEED TO ASK THIS!?!?!? I told him that and I said i just need to cry and then he proceeds to tell me... don't cry baby.. YOU JUST SAID LET IT OUT! *#^&($^%*W$(^%!

AY CURUMBA! My blood pressure is probably thru the roof right now.. And people wonder why I can't loose weight.. the amount of cortisol my body holds is probably unreal.. Not to mention PCOS makes it nearly impossibly.. Stupid Disease... Why me god WHY!?! I have a feeling my bloodwork was not too swift and will get more bad news on Thursday...

I feel a smidgen better.. I guess I'm making pickles now.. because apparenly I let my cucumbers over grow.. Nice huh? I'm going to have jars upon jars of pickles.. and they might not even taste good... I only like Valasic..( anyone want to divulge their pickling spice?)

Off to make pickles.. Sorry if I have offened anyone in this post.. I just seriously needed to vent... And I'm sure i've left out some stuff.

~Nicki

( See now my backround that I LOVED DOESN"T WORK!! ARGH)

long first week back..

My lord! I don't think I can handle much more! Discovered a leak above heater... Leaking onto electrical components of said heater which is probably why it no longer works... JUST had roof finished back in feb!! And obviously did crappy job! Ugh will finish later phone is being a butthead!

Ok.. days later hahah! Still dealing with heater issue.. UGH Apparently we have been labled a disaster area? Due to the amount of claims they have been handling.. we have to wait..Boo.. Still don't know if we have to pay another decutible.. if so I'll just fix it myself.. its only going to cost 300 to fix the heater.. and decduct is 500.. Hmm I wonder which seems smarter!

Danny is getting the royal screw over already for his promotion.. was supposed to have been promoted the 1dt of July.. eehhh Nope! 'Oh we messed up the paper work he is still slated for promotion the 1st of Aug...' So you mean to tell me you pinned him and he didn't get PD!!?!?!? MOTHER *BLEEP* Yeah. we were counting on that raise.. here's the kicker.. He will not be going to CSP II... he will be going to CSP I.. and possibly graves.. dunno days off yet. I may never see my husband again.. which could make baby making a bit difficult! But.. the money he will bring home from raise and then shift differential on graves will be nice :)

On the money front.. we are SO strapped this month its crazy Ugh.. I might be able to scrape by and get my ultrasound.. but on Monday or Tues when we come up to see my brother! Its cover by insurance 100% so yay! Only have to pay copay!

I think thats about it for now. I'm not looking forward to work.. Halloween will be appearing soon.. which means all the cute fall stuff!! ( I LOVE Fall colors!) Actually.. I think Fall is my new fave season :)! And on that note.. I have to go get ready for work.

~Nicki

Unexpected CD 1

SO AF decided to rear her ugly head.. like a week early.. so instead of 35 days cycle its a 29 day cycle.. Ugh.. Was kinda hoping she'd hold out.. so I could do my blood work on my days off.. guess that aint gonna happen.. Oh well!

Its nice to know that the ball is finally rolling! I'm excited and nervous all at the same time to see my results.. Finally called the other Dr I was seeing to get my records.. haven't heard back yet. Ugh.. I hate phone tag.

So thats about all for me.. except vacation is over.. boo. Danny still has tomorrow off.. Not fair!
Oh well off to moan and groan about my cramps..because pamprin is not working :(! UGH!

Vacation!

Well Had appt with new Dr.. Loved him :) We're starting from square one.. Gotta get my records from old Drs first.. was going to call today.. but time escaped me! So will have to do that Thursday.. Cause tomorrow is our Anniversary :). Anyways! Gotta do that.. and have to wait for this cycle to end.. and start again.. for Blood work on either CD 3, 4 or 5 and then have another u/s so Dr.R can see what he thinks of my uterus hahah! Thats the plan!

In other news.. i'm in a terrible mood today.. dunno why.. i'm just very snappy. I got drunk last night.. first time in FOREVER it seems.. Dr. R said I could stop the metformin as it can mess up the bloodwork. So I stopped.. and feel fine! Nice not having to remeber to take those things.. as I would always forget.. But I do have to start taking a prenatal again.. Wish I could find the ones I like.. but I don't think they make them anymore.. boo.

But.. anyways.. gonna veg and watch some more tv.. and get ready for a long day tomorrow! Hopefully it should be fun. Denver Natural History and Science Museum and then dinner at Maggianos Little Italy :) should be good!

OH also on vacation till the 28th WOO!

Appointment tomorrow..

Eeek! I will probably be so nervous I won't eat.. but then feel like i'm going to hurl because I haven't eaten... Ugh.. it will be a no win situation! I'm already kinda nervous... My stomach will be rolling on the drive there!

I totally slept wrong last night.. so now my neck and back hurt..! And I feel even more tired then when I went to bed.. At least I don't have to cook before work.. since Danny has today off.. Butthead :P

It is really hot out.. even tho its only like 80.. there is no wind.. it makes it incredibly hot! Probably muggy too.. Ew.

I have had some serious CM today.. Im like.. leaking.. its kinda gross but at the same time gives me hope that maybe I do ovulate on my own.. BUT it could just be my body trying to make myself O... Maybe since i'm in the middle of a cycle they will have me do a CD21 progesterone test :) and probably a ton of other blood work.. Oh joy! Another 7 vials of blood anyone!? hahah thats about the only time i've ever passed out getting up after giving blood! Of course.. thats the only time i've ever given that much!

Ok.. thats about it.. Except Danny is counting down the days till he doesn't have to work at Sonic anymore! And I'm counting down the days till Vacation.. I plan on doing nothing today at work.. ugh... I don't want to work!

~Nicki

Well...

Since my last blog! Sorry its been a while.. Keeping Busy!!

Shortly after the SGT interview.. actually the Monday after. He got the call to tell him he got picked up at CSP II for SGT! So exciting he will be working in the most technology advance prison in the Nation.. Scary no? And we all wonder why Colorado is Broke *lmao* I assume we will be passing out IOU for taxes as well! So thats some good news :)

Other good news.. Finally made an Appt for July 12th for the RE :) I'm super nervous.. and have no idea what to expect or ask!!! Ack!

Been talking to the bank and seeing what we can do to get rid of this debt. We're thinking that refinancing is in order cause apparently 6.3% interest rate is high.. Hahah Then tacking on a 2nd mortage for the debt. Dunno ... Just want it gone!!

Air Force thing is totally up in the air.. Completly up to him!

Spent the weekend with Stacey and Gideon :) Fantastic.. he is adorable and a little boogger too ;) but I still love him! Put parenting into a new perspective for me! Will see them this weekend for the 4th should be a fantastic time!!! Off to catch up on my shows!! And get some sleep!!

Hmm.. Good news and Mixed news.

Good News -Danny has an SGT interview tomorrow!!! Hoping and praying that all goes well! Been prepping for it since yesterday when he got the call.. We weren't expecting it so soon... He just got his results like 3 weeks ago! So.. got a new pretty resume done.. 6 copies and in binders.. trimmed his hair.. new pretty uniform.. hemmed pants.. and new hat Ugh. Oh well! Hope he does well!

My mixed news.. not sure how I feel about this..but we're going to consolidate our debt.. and the house will be collateral.. I really dont want to.. But its best for us.. it just seems to be getting worse! So.. We're going to go down to our bank Next monday My mom said she'd come with us. Ugh.. Just nervous about that.. our credit isn't exactly the best so im jut hoping that using the house.. Which I absolutley HATE to do.. they will give us the amount we need.. to pay off ALL of the bills. Well except cars hahah.

Danny asked me today.. that if we get this we will go see the RE.. Well almost demanding hahaa. I was like Duh! I can't wait.. i'm nervous and excited at the same time!

Doc my cat is taking forever to kill this damn fly... Its been like 2 hours now.. JUST KILL IT! Horrible mouser and bugger I tell yOU!

Well it wasn't the same thing as last year on the house..its for the stupid road they did back in 2008 which we didn't even know about or want! Plus its been repaired once since then.. Goes to tell you it was crappily done anyways. So there is nothing we can do about it.. BUT the new fire policy will kinda counter act it.. by lower the payments at least 10 dollars...

I feel like crap right now.. I could just sleep and I feel like I'm getting sick.. Pregnant maybe? No idea. Not gonna worry about it. I keep getting cramps everyonce in a while, but then a few hours later I go to the bathroom.. So not counting that for anything.

So much for the 3 lbs i've lost.. back up to 225.. I can't win.. So i'm eating blueberry muffins for breakfast.. No idea what to take for lunch.. So I might buy a salad at the deli.. cause it sounds good and I can never make good salads... Im hungry.. and Ihave the munchies like no other.. BUT i can't put my finger on what I want!! Ugh.. Gonna go wallow in my hunger and crappy stuffy nose.. and eat some muffins..

PS: Danny it going to make the call for the infertility Appt... makes me more nervous and excited at the same time.

~Nicki

Nervous...

I hate going to see new Drs.. I haven't even made an appt yet and Danny said I could! I told him last night i'm too nervous to call. He said I'll call give me the number! I was like I don't have it haha. I just need to suck it up and call.. Its just a consultaion.. and If I don't like.. him I can go to the other one.. really don't want to go back and fourth between Drs tho! Pain in the butt and more money out of my pocket!!

Not much going on in my world... Just working and working somemore.. Trying to keep my house up hahah as we're almost never home on weekends.. something always comes up or we make too many plans! Always home in the evening tho.

Finally got Fire insurance on house figured out.. its 11 dollars Less than the old company Woo! BUT ... our County raised our Taxes 400 some odd dollars AGAIN.. This year.. same as last year.. making our house payment jump up.. Ok.. I don't think out property is worth and extra 400 dollars.. Can't remember what we did last year to fix it. But they are supposed to call back.. I remember we had to go to the county building and get a paper saying something about the poperty.. I swear they must be looking at a differnt house..! SO Fustrating.. I want out of this house even more if thats gonna keep happening!!!

Well I'm off to finish my wonderful strawberries and whipped cream.. Yummy.. I Love summer.. minus the extreme HEAT Ugh.!

~Nicki

Tired today.. its supposed to be like 100 today.. Ew. At least Mr. Swampy is hooked up! Priming as we speak..

My animals have been driving me NUTS lately.. Between Volt meowing all the time and Wrangler being a spaz...I don't know how much more I can take!

I broke down and asked Danny if we could go see an RE.. considering the fact that Its gonna take a few cycles to get all the blookwork and such done. So hopefully at the end of the month I'll be making an appt.. Lord knows it probably wont be till August anyways! I Think the one month i'm not trying super duper hard.. I think actually O'ed. Weird.. had some twinges and cramping on CD 11 and 12.. and lots of EWCM! The day of cramping I didn't BD.. cause I was mad at Danny. So we did last night.. Was super tired tho.. But I feel since we actually tried.. Nothing will come of it.. PLus didn't have any OPKs and I wasn't going to waste my money.

Wish it was my weekend.. I'd still be sleeping probably! Ugh. Not looking forward to work today...Dunno why.. just dont.. gotta take a shower and make dinner. Waiting paitently for my new phone.. and since saying i'm getting a new phone.. Old one has been working perfect.. Lame.

HOT!

The past few days here in Good Ol Canon City.. have been a scorcher....Not cool. My Swamp cooler is not hooked up.. Some of you are probably wonder what the heck it is.. Well here in Colorado ther is little to no Humditity... So.. AC.. dry out the air even more! Swamps work more effiecently :)We pretty much rebuilt ours last year ( another bounus) Cheap to fix!

I did break down last night when Danny came home.. I made him put the Window unit( AC) in.... it was 85 degrees in my house.. Cooler OUTSIDE than inside.. Wasn't sleeping like that. No thanks! Just so you know.. All 3 celing fans.. and windows were OPEN.. all day long.. Don't like to come home from working in 99 degree weather.. only to continue sweating in my own home. It was miserable..

Danny is on the roof as we speak.. Hooking Mr. Swampy up.. Praise the lord.. its 10:30 and its already almost 85.. Eek! I don't like living in Colorados Bannana Belt!!!

Don't have to work till 3 Today WOO!

~Nicki

So yeah...

So... She decided to show up.. while we were going to get my jewlery checked and getting Danny a new ring :) I went to the bathroom.. and i'll be damned.. of course.. I have NOTHING.. and my mom doesn't have anything anymore.. because she doesn't get this fun thing once a month anymore.. Lucky haha. Oh and the best part.. new undies too.. Lame.

yeah.. just as I was starting to get some libido back.. maybe thats what triggered her. Hey she wants to jump on her husband later today.. lets show up!... ARG!

Anyways.. got Danny a new ring... they got some pretty new jewlery its VERY bright colors!! So pretty and mezmerising!! Plus the have a necklace in my birthstone.. that I finally like!!! Maybe for my aniversary ;) its.. fast approaching!

Goodnight! ~Nicki

Its Saturday for me!

Planted most of my garden, cept watermelon, cantaloupe and cucumbers :) Making a sperate box for them so they don't take over the big garden! Despite the damn wind we got it done.. Now to get ready for to go to my parents and pay some bills.. Getting my Newly used coffee table and end tables :) that will match all of my other furniture!!! Yay! Now I need a movie shelf haha.

AF is a week late.. But I figure i'm not preggo.. Granted my sugars all over the place and im having weird twinges down there.. but not constant.. I think we're gonna get Danny a new ring.. Cause im tired of him not wearing one.. his is too big since loosing all the weight. SO yep... Off we go.. Need to shower first!

~Nicki

Break time...

So.. we decided to take a break from the whole TTC thing right now.. Its just getting to me mentally and physically.. Too much waiting for Pos OPKS.. two week waits to pee on a stick.. then waiting for AF.. Which i'm still waiting for by the way.


So.. Danny promised me that by August we will go see a Dr. I can only hope so.. Cause I feel like im going in circles.. I don't want to even try with out seeing a Dr... I feel like something else is wrong other than the PCOS.. but won't know that unless I go see a Dr.. So thats where i'm at right now..

I already feel some weight lifted knowing that next month I don't have to pee on 20 sticks just to see if I'm surging.. and that a 2 week wait won't be needed.. Now I just need to quite working so hard at work.. I come home exaughsted.. its not cool.. I never have time to do what I want when I get home. Tonight.. I worked on Gideons scrapbook.. it was nice :) Only did 2 pgs but hey its a start! I need some diff stuff that I don't have.. gotta wait till I get some extra in the bank I suppose. Right now i'm tired.. Im suprised i've made it this long after getting home! Watching August Rush? then bed!

~Nicki

BFN...

So.. No Positive pee stick.. But no AF either.. I don't know what to do anymore.. According to my OPKs.. I O'd on day 12 and 13.. a little to early I think. Oh well..

I'm at a loss of what to do anymore.. I feel my body is failing to work for me.. while Dannys is running all perfect. I just want to scream... I want to go see a Dr.. I know i'm still young.. But sometimes that don't mean Shit.

I keep hearing.. don't worry about it, it will happen.. You have a baby in your life now, you will spend so much time with him it will happen..

So fucking tired of that... You have no idea the pain it inflicts on couple trying to have a baby.. I've never even been pregnant.. Not once in my entire life.. not even a chemical or misscariage.. I would like to get pregnant.. I know its gonna be horrible to say thing.. but I would like to know I even get pregnant... even to have a misscariage. I'm tired.. and ready to go to bed.. So after CSI theres where i'm going...

~Nicki

ACK!

Busy Busy! Work was busy.. this past week was just a blur!!

At 1:48 PM on May 13th, 2010 7lbs 13oz and 21in .. My beautiful Godson Gideon Aiden entered this world.. He is SO precious. I just want to eat him up :)



She was supposed to be induced Thursday morning at 7.. well... I worked Wed night till 9, Danny got home at 1130. We laied down to bed turned the lights off.. Oh 1230? Dingdong my phone goes off.. Its Stacey... Haha I knew it! Gideon apparently didn't like the idea of being forced out :P. So around 130 after she got to Hosp she texted me again and let me know they were keepign her! So we get up get dressed get everything we needed head out the door around 2, get there at 3 haha Nice gate gaurd let us on! We got there a few min after the epidural was placed.. I have never seen a woman in labor so happy hahah!

The waiting begins.. times just CREPT by.. OMG... She was stuck at 6 for a few hours.. then was stuck at 7... haha then finally just a lip!! She only pushed for about an hour and he was here! I'm so proud of her, Her and Her Hubby made a Beautiful baby with tons of hair!! And I got to expereience the whole thing.. It was amazing.

Needless to say.. We left the Hosp at 5ish, got home at around 7.. so from 9 am wed.. to 7pm thurs.. I had maybe 30 min of sleep.. Yikes.. Still trying to catch up!!!

Coming to an end of my 2nd natural cycle.. Not to eager to POAS.. we will see don't even have one!! No symptoms of anything really.. If she shows up tomorrow No POAS.. if she doesn't I will!!

I'm scrapbooking tomorrow.. making it for Gideon :) Gotta make a trip to Hallmark store for some stuff!! This last image i'm going to attempt to attach.. is I can only imagine this is the face Danny will have when we have our own Kids... It almost made me cry.

Oi!

Jeez.. Busy busy here! Working a ton.. taking care of stuff around house, going up to my parents and friends.. and making sure my flowers don't die!! AND fixing my car...

I wish the weather would just stay nice!! Non of this.. warm..then cold crap.. I hate it.. I want to plant my garden!!! Maybe finish my patio outside too haha.


Super busy at work today since tomorrow is Mothers day.. All I did was run register.. and move flowers! I'm deadbeat.. Hoping that I really don't have to go see and RE soon.. I hope this cycle is my cycle .. I'm 8dpo.. not feeling much.. But Still a little early! We found out our insurance covers half if not more of infertility treatments :) So we decided we can call the RE, knowing what they do cover and such! Exciting.. but at the same time.. we don't want to have to do so. I got my POS OPK the earliest i've ever gotten one.. CD 12.. Holy cow.. I freaked out thinking that it was too early but, ladies on the board reassured me that it was ok :) SO Just waiting.. Did the Baby dance alot this cycle which I hope Danny's swimmers were feeling frisky at the time of O!

Other news.. visited some friends on Tuesday we hadn't seen in a long while.. now I know why.. They got married 2 months before me and Danny did.. and only dated like a year? I think. And they are so headed for divorce.. we can SO see it.. its crazy... I know deep down me and Danny we so meant for eachother :) I love him to death.. But these 2 are just so NOT made for eachother.. But what can you do. I asked her their anniversary is on the 21st and what they planned on doing and she just kinda sighed.. Its like WOW really unhappy.. She doesn't want any more kids.. she has 1 daughter and he has no kids.. and when they got married she said she would have another.. and now doesn't want one.. yeah complicated.

I think thats about it for now.. off to bed.. Thank god tomorrow is Friday!

~Nicki

Hmm.. Ponder..

I wonder if I can keep all 11 plants.. I planted today.. alive.. I still have 8 more.. but most likely they will live cause they are low maintence.. Now my rose bushes and hostas.. I dunno.. Still have to plant Hydrangas... I think this should be my summer goal! I REALLY want my rose bushes to survive.. They are orange and should Be SO pretty!

In other news.. My car needs a new alternator and a blet.. Sad day. Getting it Pay Day. Hoping that Danny and my dad can fix it *pray* Don't have an extra 200 bucks for install... ontop of 180 and 40 for belt!

Finally did not much of anything this weekend.. Nice.. plus sleeping in. Hung out with Jeff this weekend :) He's so cool and laid back! I'm still tired tho... I think most of its just stress.. thinking that 2 years is approaching for the baby making mark.. which sucks.. a bunch.. To think that I can't even get pregnant.. just hurts. I know alot of other ladies have been going at this longer than me and are older.. but it still hurts just the same.

I'm scared to meet my new godson.. he's due any day... I know my heart is going to break when I meet him for the first time. I'm just gonna ball I can feel it.. I can feel my eyes tearing up just thinking about it. I'm scared i'm never going to have that... I just want to know what its like to be pregnant just.. once just one time.. I hope I get that.

~Nicki

Good and Bad news..

Good news:
- Danny Passed the ASVAB with flying colors and qualifys for every job in AF and Military anyways .. except one :) So he has the choice of the job he wants!

- We thought the water heater went out.. the door covering is was broken in pieces when we got home... NOT COOl.. no hot water for shower.. so we waited till this morning to drain sedimint.. and turn it up.. Only to find out.. The pilot light got blown out.. *thumbs up*

-Finally got some rest.. pretty restless sleep tho.. woke up like 3 times.. ew.


Bad News:
- Danny did not pass his physical as we feared.. Not to mention Dr was asshole I hear. He has to get a note from Dr saying his vericose veins do not cause him problems and has never been seen by a Dr for them. Also.. Neeeds a back x-ray because 'he has a slight curve' It has to be like under 10 % or something like that... He goes on Thurs. then will go to recruiter to fax it.. then has to go back in 30 days.. to redo Duck walk and knee stands.. (stupidest things EVER) Then.. Hope and pray to god that the AF Surgon general gives him a waiver... Praying SO HARD for this.. its just another set back.. in hopes of him finally getting in.

-First natural cycle as I had suspected did not work.. I freaked myself out cause I used an OPK as a preg test.. and got 2 lines which isn't normal for me that late in a cycle... BAD Idea.. actual preg test.. 2 of them were negative.

- I have been so mentally and phsyically exaghsted.. that I almost snapped on the ride to the recruiters on Monday.. it wasn't pretty.. I have the hugest bags under my eyes.. I actually have to wear make up to look decent!?!?! I feel like I'm 35.

- Not looking forward to work.. when do I tho? oh yeah.. Sundays when Andi isn't there. Which I had enough of her 'mood swings' and attitude.. I finally said something to Jonna and Jeff.. they we're completly flabbergashted.. Yeah.. She seems sweet.. try working with her.

I'm sure there was some other stuff.. my brain is so scattered anymore...I can't remeber how to freaking tie my shoes!!! I've just been so worried and stressed.. Both me and danny has.. and its taking its toll.. its been 2 WEEKS since we've done.. anything... besides kiss eachother good bye. I tried last night.. but Danny was just dead beat.. I'm so proud of him and how far he's come.

We both are dying for a vacation to get away.. But.. i think some repairs may hinder that.. I need a new belt for car.. we both need windsheilds.. Personally belt is more important that windsheild! We seriously need to do somethign before we kill eachother.. Or find someway to get the stress to melt away.

The weather has been nice.. finally non-windy.. Need to put my veggies.. out. but still a little chilly! Hmm.. Rain expected the rest of this week.. But thats ok! I LOVE thunderstorms! They relax me :) I'm hoping I work early Thurs.. then me and Danny can spend some time together.. and catch up on our shows! Lawn seriously needs to be mowed!!!!

Having a rough few weeks... hopfully a good update soon.. Off to take Danny to MEPS finally hoping all will go well and he gets the job he wants.. and that he passes the Physical.. I'll be staying at my moms since, it would be wasiting gas to drive up drop him off then turn around and go get him Tues night..

I am dead tired already... Off We go .. Dog inculded.. *snooze*

*SCREAMS*

My husband can be an arrogant asshole.. Seriously.. OMG *SCREAM* drives me nuts!! Everything thing I say goes in one in ear and out the other.. never takes ANY input.. I think I should be a psychologist...I'd make a good one. I have alot of common sense..

Peeing on a stick tomorrow.. Going crazy. Its raining but instead of listening and relaxing while it rains.. I'm fustrated and going to punch my husband.

Ugh..

Not feeling so hot.. got sick a little while ago.. I think its the orange juice..Ugh.. and I just ate again.. now not feeling so good again.. I can't win!

So far in the natural cycle i've O'ed on my own :) So i'm offically in my 2ww! Its exciting.. and nerve wracking at the same time...


Had my little mini vacation go back to work here at 2.. Had an awesome week/weekend.. did everything we wanted to do. Friday we went to Big R with my parents and got last min stuff for Baby Shower, had dinner and called it a night.
Saturday was the baby shower.. It went so well :) I'm happy how it turned out! Then that night we went to Copperhead Rd.. Um yeah hahah it was AWESOME Danny doesn't remember much.. he spent most of the night in the truck sleeping it off and getting sick ;) I had a little too much to drink myself.. But hey.. I needed to let loose! All went to Village Inn afterwards.. Couldn't get danny out of truck.. So we ate and then all went home :)

Sunday we went and saw How to Train your Dragon in 3D it was pretty cool! Then came home Chilled ate Easter dinner and then went to bed! And Monday we got me some new sneakers for work and that was about it.. drove home in a dust bowl.. wind was HORRIBLE!! Went to Jeffs for dinner yum! Slept in and Tuesday we just cleaned and chilled :)

Now i'm ready for another one..! Oh well gotta wait.. hopefully work won't be too bad today haha first day back and I have to work till 11 Ugh! And I'm not feeling good..hope i'm not getting sick.. Or if i'm preg from last cycle.. that would be ok too I never did take a test.. My stomach has been feeling really.. blah crampy, gassy and just not right..

My cat decided to jump onto my head and cut my lip and head open last night.. Thanks to the dog.. It hurt. and bled alot.. Not cool.. I take forever to heal.. Not like i need more scars to add to the collection on my face...

Guess I need to get ready for work.. and the wind needs to stop blowing.. its been blowing since like Saturday.. Argh!

~Nicki

Quickie...

My life summed up in a nutshell right now

- I am dispising work right now.. it totally sucks like royally.. I dread going everyday.
-Almost killed my laptop again... So NOT cool.. Overdrafted a credit card.. just to fix it.. But so worth it.I was SO beyond Caring.. everything came crashing down on me like an avalance.. I was done.. just done.
-I am so tired.. and getting sinus headaches everyday for the past 3 days.. Not cool...
- I am ready for my mini vac.. even if Im spending it all at my moms.. I will not be here.
-I REALLY hope stacey's shower will go well... I cannot wait to meet my Godson.. he looks so precious on his 3d's. I will babysit any chance she lets me ;)
-I've had the sweet tooth from.. freaking Candy land.. all I want is candy or.. something sweet.. I have had today.. a doughnut.. Penut m&ms, strawberry shortcake, and I thik 5 Rice crispies.. And I wonder why I weight what I do.
-I wish I could sleep like a baby everynight.. and not wait till Danny gets home at 11 to do so.. Might just go to bed early anyways, another early day tomorrow..
THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY.

~Nicki

I am beyond fustrated... I don't know why thats just the way i'm feeling.. I don't want to go to work tomorrow, Its going to suck and be slow just like today. Maybe I should call off..Not like they will miss me.

I have nails.. I think its a miracle.. Danny left bedroom door open.. So i came home to shredded tissues.. Really.. After 3 yrs with this dog you haven't learned to shut the door? Somedays I wish I was 19 living with my parents.. I want my life back.. Thats horrible to say.. I should stop while i'm ahead.

Survey I found :)

FOODOLOGY:

What is your salad dressing of choice? Ranch or Thousand Island dressing

What is your favorite sit-down restuarant? Texas Roadhouse

What is your favorite fast food restaurant?\Sonic

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Ice Cream

What are your pizza toppings of choice? Candian Bacon

How many televisions are in your house? 2

What color cell phone do you have? Maroon

BIOLOGY:

Are you right-handed or left-handed? Right.

Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Just a tooth

What is the last heavy item you lifted? Canned and Bagged Dog and Cat food

Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Probably

Have you ever fainted? No

BULLCRAPOLOGY:

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? No

If you could change your name, what would you change it to? My middle name Lynn :)

How many pairs of flip flops do you own? Too many

Last person you talked to? My hubby

FAVORITOLOGY:

Season? Spring and Winter

Holiday? Christmas

Day of the week? Monday

Month? July

Color? Blue

Drink? Sprite and Diet Coke

Alcoholic? hahah No but a drink once in a while is nice

CURRENTOLOGY:

Missing someone? My hubby

What are you listening to? The TV

What are you watching? The computer screen.

Worrying about? Everything

What’s the last movie you saw? Honestly I don't remember.. But we just watched one.

Do you smile often? I try to

If you could change your eye color what would it be? I like my eye color :)

What’s on your wish list for your birthday? A baby So.. I got another year tho!

Can you do a chin-up? No haha

Does the future make you more nervous or excited? Both

Have you been in a car wreck? Yes

Have you caused a car wreck? Yes

Do you have an accent? Nope

Last time you cried? Monday

Plans tonight? Sleeping

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? Yup

Name three things you bought yesterday? Bread, Cheese and Chicken and lots of other groceries

Have you met someone who changed your life? Yes

For the better or worse? Much better

How did you bring in the New Year? Standing at the Door with Hubby watching the Fireworks on Pikes Peak :) and a kiss of course!

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Probably

What songs do you sing in the shower? None

Have you held hands with someone today? Nope

Who was the last person you took a picture of? Do animals count?

Are most of the friends in your life new or old? IMostly old but some new :)

Do you like pulpy orange juice? Ew no.

Last time you ate peanut butter and jelly? Couple days ago

What were you doing at 12 a.m. last night? Watching Good Eats

What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? I don't want to go to work.. Or get up

So AF Arrived.. I'm pretty bummed.. and Danny is working a double.. So I when I want someone to cry on.. there is no one...I think a bath is in order and early to bed...