Deflated....

Well...our appt did not go as planned.. we hoped to hear fantastic news! Instead we didn't.. We heard that my endo was severe... apparently you could not see my left ovary or tube when he went in. But it was all cleaned up and the kink was in my right tube.. SO I was just F'd up all the way around! I hope that this increases our chances.. as he is not willing to do medicated cycles until I get a 2nd opinion.

Why may you ask? Well apparently he wants to see if giving me Lupron Depot for 6 months.. (If I chose too) would be the best way to go.. or what treatment would be best for me. Joy huh? Yeah no. I've read some things about Lupron Depot.. AND have not heard of anyone with taking this drug.. plus the side effects are not appealing.. If I wanted to go thru menopause i'd ask to. Plus.. its supposed to 'reset' your hormones.. but all of my bloodwork came back great?


On Danny's side... He has 'over achievers' in the motility and volume department... BUT not in the morphology department, he's the lowest there. But the Dr. that did the analysis said that with his motilty and morphology being so high that it should not affect fertility. But Dr. R would like to get him checked out too see if it could possibly be fixed. We're cool with that...


So I was a mess.. I'm lost I don't know what to do or think.. I had a few break downs after that. But as the day wore on I'm thinking.. He never mentioned trying naturally.. or anything.. he said that I probably don't ovulate.. but I get post OPKs? And I have a period every month? I was confused on that one.. Any thoughts??

But we're going to try this month and see what happens.. I'm on CD 10 so just about right. We will make his appt and probably wait on mine incase this month gives me a rare Postive on a preggo test. After all I am cleaned out and unkinked.. After my worst period EVER. I passed a lot of tissue.. I'm hoping thats a good thing... We will see.. I'm trying not to think about it.. he did mention that does apparently cause issues... being stressed about the situation.. Well.. Sorry I can't help but think about it! I'm going to try this month... try not think about it.. Overly much. But I cannot make any garuntees.. I need to loose weight..i'm working on Gideons scrapbook... That and loosing weight I would hope help me keep my mind off of it.. and leave it in Gods hands to see if he will bless us with our miracle we so desperatly want.

Its killing me to see how wonderful my husband is with kids... babies and the like. I wish for nothing more for me to give him a child of his own.

~Nicki taking it one day at a time...