I'm tired...

I'm tired of hearing.. just wait it will happen...

I'm tired of hearing...your young.. You try for 2 years or longer and then tell me how you feel...

I'm tired of hearing... it will happen.. Yeah when i'm old and can only give birth to one child and not give them a sibling...

I'm tired of being tired with this journey.. We are at the same place we were 2 years ago.. only difference 4 medicated cycles.. and a surgery.. and No baby.

I had an inckling when I was getting older that I would have problems having kids.. this goes to show.. Never underestimate a woman intuition.. here we are.. having problems.. And its ALL ME. I feel useless.. broken and unfixable...

I know other ladies try longer before even achieving pregnancy.. but I can't help but feel like its been so long... I wonder what would have happend if we never used condoms and just BC? Would I have a 3 or 4 year old and be working on my 2nd with this problem? What would have happend if I never would have used that morning after pill because I was too scared of becoming pregnant at the time because I was too young at 21? What if.. why does life have a ton of what ifs? It sucks.. let me tell you...

I want a Dr that is going to want me to have a baby as bad I want to have one NOW. I Have yet to find this Dr.. apparently I might not be being proactive enough??

I want to take herbal supplements.. every where it says wait 3 months. Well you know what if your body needs it.. it will use it. So I say screw 3 months I'm going to still try anyways.. taking the vitamins or not.. It shouldn't kill me.

Thats how i've been feeling.. TIRED OF WAITING.

~Nicki