So stupid...

Yep thats me I'm the stupid one. I shouldn't have gone to that baby shower.. I shouldn't have called off work. What was I thinking? I need to money.. I shouldn't have bought all that baby stuff.. I knew I was going to cry on the way home.. And I have and still am.

Then I did somethinge even stupider.. after everyone left.. I needed to tell April about the 3rd.. Danny wants them to come over for dinner. Then since she got a whole bunch.. a ton a of stuff. I asked her if she wanted me to help her take all the stuff in... Bad idea.. I'd be seeing their nursery and which pooh bedding they bought.

Its the one I picked for my nursery.


I go in Monday for an u/s to see how I'm responding to the Bravelle... Still have a 20mm cyst.. only shrunk 5 mm.. from last cycle. But still non hormonal e2 level was only 15 so I could still cycle.. I swear if this messes up my cycle again.. I will never go in for and u/s again on Fridays.. Because then I will no longer like Dr Harris. because this will be round # 2 that he has fucked up for me.. and tons of money down the drain.

I want this cycle to work SO bad.. its not even funny. I want this with every fiber of my being.. I will not go to any more baby showers until its my own.

~Nicki