Numb...

I'm numb.. Saw Mike today at work.. I asked them how everything was going.. He said they had just got done baby shopping in the springs.. Getting nursery things.. I asked what color they picked etc.. Bad Idea..

They picked Winnie the Pooh.. What I want for my nursery.. What I WANT. But don't know if i'll ever get it...I wanted to cry at work.. But I just couldn't.. no tears welled up nothing. Just a numb feeling...

I NEED to loose weight before this next cycle.. which I have no idea when will happen because I ovulated twice.. I think.. Ugh.. This sucks! Why does my body have to be all fucked up!?!?!?! Ugh.. Now i'm jsut angry.. I need to go to bed.. and I'm starving.. and I will wake up @ 7 am with a huge clogged nose.. every freaking day for over a week.. It needs to STOP.

Now i'm going to bed.. If I can sleep.

~nicki