Snowing and a dead tree...

Its snowing outside and our poor Christmas tree has already died and it looks pretty sad :( . Not sure what happened.. but I almost want to go get another one.. but its way to late and the thought of decorating it again LOL.

I POAS at 6dp3dt.. way to early I know but I did anyways.. Then again 8dp3dt and it was neg.. I will admit I lost a little bit of hope. Still early but I was hoping that there would be some sort of a line. My blood test is Friday. I don't think I'll POAS again. I did pee 5 thousand times last night at work.. not sure what happened there. I guess I just keep looking for symptoms and I have none.. My boobs hurt last night but I'm blame progesterone and being in bra the whole day!

Plus one day of being back to work.. and I have HUGE bags under my eyes.. and I woke up at 9.. really...wtf? I go from looking all rested to crap instantaneously. Not cool.


I'm still tired it seems.. but I haven't worked in almost 2 weeks.. so thats probably why..I'm really hoping i'm in denial like our first IUI and i'm preggo.. I do keep talking to my belly.

Me and Danny are talking about what our next step will be.. he mentioned fostering/ fostering to adopt.. I don't even know where to start..Its very overwhelming..  I have never been around children for along periods of time.. I don't know how to talk to them or anything. An infant would be awesome . because well I can learn.. Danny on the other hand is like the child master.. I know your thinking why does this woman even want kids if she doesn't even know how to interact with them? I never grew up with younger cousins or younger siblings.. i'm the baby.. Danny got to experience it all.. The only interaction i've ever had is with Gideon and now Chloe.. and occasionally other kids.. but never for very long. Just makes it tough for me to make these kids of decisions.

We will continue talking if the outcome is negative.. I just don't have that feeling that it worked. I'm trying to stay positive.. Yesterday my first day back to work was almost to much.. all the questions and people saying they are crossing their fingers or do this do that, do you have any symptoms.. Yeah.. About to go insane.

I have to go finish my cookies and then eat some lunch before work.. will have to leave super early today cause i'm grandma driver in the snow ;)

Praying very hard that one little baby hung on.. I would hate to be talking to an empty uterus.

~Nicki