I am beyond fustrated... I don't know why thats just the way i'm feeling.. I don't want to go to work tomorrow, Its going to suck and be slow just like today. Maybe I should call off..Not like they will miss me.

I have nails.. I think its a miracle.. Danny left bedroom door open.. So i came home to shredded tissues.. Really.. After 3 yrs with this dog you haven't learned to shut the door? Somedays I wish I was 19 living with my parents.. I want my life back.. Thats horrible to say.. I should stop while i'm ahead.

Survey I found :)

FOODOLOGY:

What is your salad dressing of choice? Ranch or Thousand Island dressing

What is your favorite sit-down restuarant? Texas Roadhouse

What is your favorite fast food restaurant?\Sonic

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Ice Cream

What are your pizza toppings of choice? Candian Bacon

How many televisions are in your house? 2

What color cell phone do you have? Maroon

BIOLOGY:

Are you right-handed or left-handed? Right.

Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Just a tooth

What is the last heavy item you lifted? Canned and Bagged Dog and Cat food

Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Probably

Have you ever fainted? No

BULLCRAPOLOGY:

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? No

If you could change your name, what would you change it to? My middle name Lynn :)

How many pairs of flip flops do you own? Too many

Last person you talked to? My hubby

FAVORITOLOGY:

Season? Spring and Winter

Holiday? Christmas

Day of the week? Monday

Month? July

Color? Blue

Drink? Sprite and Diet Coke

Alcoholic? hahah No but a drink once in a while is nice

CURRENTOLOGY:

Missing someone? My hubby

What are you listening to? The TV

What are you watching? The computer screen.

Worrying about? Everything

What’s the last movie you saw? Honestly I don't remember.. But we just watched one.

Do you smile often? I try to

If you could change your eye color what would it be? I like my eye color :)

What’s on your wish list for your birthday? A baby So.. I got another year tho!

Can you do a chin-up? No haha

Does the future make you more nervous or excited? Both

Have you been in a car wreck? Yes

Have you caused a car wreck? Yes

Do you have an accent? Nope

Last time you cried? Monday

Plans tonight? Sleeping

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? Yup

Name three things you bought yesterday? Bread, Cheese and Chicken and lots of other groceries

Have you met someone who changed your life? Yes

For the better or worse? Much better

How did you bring in the New Year? Standing at the Door with Hubby watching the Fireworks on Pikes Peak :) and a kiss of course!

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Probably

What songs do you sing in the shower? None

Have you held hands with someone today? Nope

Who was the last person you took a picture of? Do animals count?

Are most of the friends in your life new or old? IMostly old but some new :)

Do you like pulpy orange juice? Ew no.

Last time you ate peanut butter and jelly? Couple days ago

What were you doing at 12 a.m. last night? Watching Good Eats

What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? I don't want to go to work.. Or get up

So AF Arrived.. I'm pretty bummed.. and Danny is working a double.. So I when I want someone to cry on.. there is no one...I think a bath is in order and early to bed...

Sweet Tooth....

So.. here it is.. 11:17 PM and i'm eating Mint oreos and a doughnut stick.. I hate My period.. Or at least I think thats whats going on.. I started spotting this morning.. but (TMI) my tampons had NOTHING on them.. ? Confusion. So we will see... I don't have a stick.. so there for I can't pee on one. I doubt I am and Its just a light period.. Blah... I used my 2 sticks I had.. one at 8 dpo.. and 11dpo.. and both were Neg.. But i know sometimes that hcg will not show up that early.. SO I'm just SOL

So.. on the Dr. front.. I was thinking.. Do I have to see an RE? Some of the girls see an OBGYN who treats infertility.. So I looked thru the list of Dr's thru our insurance.. There are 2 that I think are decent.. One I would really love to see. So I think I'll go for that. Could Possibly be cheaper!!! So Now just waiting on our insurance to send us our explanation of benifits book to see what all is covered ( scans, triggers, etc) and how much everything costs ( well at least i'm HOPING thats what is says)

I'm really tired.. time change sucks.. And Danny just discovered what smells in my house.. my furnace filters.. Who knew.. Yeah I know your supposed to change them everymonth.. well I forget.. its not in my memory.. Not something your parents exactly drilled into my head. So He is flapping them and vaccuming them ... In Hopes that it will help.. I just spent 135 bucks on groceries.. and gas.. and I don't wanna spend the money if i don't have to!

I'm in a horrible PMSy mood.. right now.. was like this last night.. Its not cool and i'm sure danny hates it. Sorry. I should go to bed now.. Have to be to work ! 1030.. Ew.

Pretty short post tonight.. I think hahah

I'm SO freaking tired.. throwing the truck the night before and tonight at work.. was tiring..Move this.. then move that.. and wait on cusotmers.. we were super busy because its was BEAUTIFUL day here in the Rockies :) It was like 62! I wanted to be at home cleaning out my flower beds and garden :(

I made bannana bread.. and SO did not have enough flour.. I had like a cup and a half.. it calls for 2.. so we will see what it tastes like.

Time change.. NOT cool.. I have get up early boo! But its friday!!! Off to shower and resist the urge to pee on a stick,... i so want it to be Positive.. not feeling too diff...most people say you will just KNOW.. well.. i need some signs here! Had some dull aching in earlier in the week.. but nothing now.. Yep off to shower and bed and then early to rise! Damn early crap is for the birds! (can you tell i'm not a morning person?)

~Nicki

BLAH!

Well I had a nice post written.. and I apparently pushed some keys and it deleted it.. So not cool!

So anyways.. In my 2ww.. only 7 days past ovulation.. We didn't do the baby dance as much as I would have liked..because apparenly Danny hitting his head was not enough.. He had strep.. So of course.. I don't want to get sick.. So we BD'd exactly 8 hours before my surge.. Luck? I'm not sure! Then Only once after I got a POS opk.. So only twice.. and we haven't done anything since.. I just want this 2ww to be over with.. and give me some sure signs that I have a baby cooking in there! But nothing as of yet.. Had a little cramping last night and this morning..but I had that last time.. so not reading too much into it...

I've done 4 rounds... 4 ROUNDS of Clomid... Where did those 4 months go!?!?! Poof out the window.. Resulting in no baby... SO Here is my plan... If this Cycle doesn't work. We will go au naturale.. for a few more months.. I will loose Hopefully about 20 lbs.. While doing that.. save up for an appt with the RE.. since I only have one to choose from.. So I'm thinking we will make that appt in Augs.. which is 5 months from now. Doesn't seem like it..but wow hahah. I HOPE that maybe we get lucky and this round works.. Or like some ladies.. Stop for a month or 2 and get pg naturally that would be awesome :)

In other news.. besides being bummed this cycle might not work. My cats have been suffering with a cold... Finally getting better.. Danny got strep.. My allergies already are driving me bonkers!! Argh! I have nails.. I'm attributing it to the vitamins.. because i'm a nervous nail biter.. And my pinki nail onmy left finger.. keeps hitting the keys funny and its really annoying!

I am really starting to hate my job..but its a job so I have to go.. because bills need to be pd and need to buy more stuff for the baby shower.. Which is becoming expensive! But I always feel the need to over achive.. because when it comes time for mine.. I would like.. one just as nice :) Granted its not taking place and looking like a wedding reception ... thats a little over board!

I have a sweet tooth..and no sweets to douse the craving with.. That sucks. My cat doc.. slowly creeps toward me as he is sleeping.. he is a very cuddly cat.. Just as long as he's comfy right? Of course.

I'm getting to a place where this infertility thing is starting to suck.. come sept it will be 2 years.. I know thats not as long as somepeople BUT it still sucks.. I've never been preg... which i really want to feel being preg. and enjoy it.. and then hold a bundle of joy in my arms at the end.. I can't wait.. So until then.. I will live vicariously thru my godson.. But he isn't here yet.. he still has about 3 months left to bake!!! He is going to be so precious! But i still do get jealous of her.. and other ladies... I just can't help it...

~Nicki

I could scream

This post is going to be strickly ranting... Because I can and i'm sick of everything

I HATE Retail!! I HATE My Managment team... I HATE Teenagers!!! Those are just a few things.. Danny has been hitting nerves lately.

First off.. Retail.. I Have been working retail since like July 02, First it was Clothing.. never again.. Do you people seriously live like that at home? Pick it up and throw it down because you dont like it? It falls off a hanger and don't pick it up? Its disgusting.. and people are so rude! It is NOT that hard to put back something you don't want. People will even do it while they are in line.. We would much rather have you hand it to the cashier.. instead of throwing it in the candy.. while we are watching you.. Please. 2nd job was Pet retail.. this one wasn't that bad.. Mainly management, so I can say I miss this job. When you get to play with fish, kitties, dogs, snakes and lizards and birds.. Life is good.

My 3rd retail is.. Wal-mart.. This company truly amazes me.. and not in a good way.. The customers here in this town are horrible and so rude. I'm so done with it.. 3 yrs is 3 yrs too many at wal-mart.
Now the management is probably one of the main reason I hate it there so much. They are .. not the brightests crayons in the box.. and can't believe they get pd what they do to have college degrees and do stuff.. that doesn't make sense on a good day. They make you change stuff 5 times in maybe a day.. when you asked them the first time if they were sure they didn't want it done they way they are telling you to do it for the last time.. Only to find out you have completly change it 1 week later. So.. you can imagine how stressed all of workers are.. I could do their job.. its not hard.. I can deal with disgrunteled customers.. Its not that hard.. In my store alone we have 10 assitant managers.. 2 Co managers..and 1 store manager.. As well has 2 support managers.. and like 4 zone manager supports.. Yeah.. A little much if you ask me.. Too many chiefs not enough indians..

So last night at work.. I had to redo an isle of easter because they had someone on over nights just throw it up with the isle not even set... SO I had to do that all by myself. It sucked.. those shelves are not light.. and when you have to place them about 6 ft. above your head when your 5'1 .. I think you get the picture.. and Ladders don't help .. when your attempting to put them up. They weigh a good 35lbs. So at one point.. I almost lost it.. crying on top of a ladder fighting a shelf.. because it didn't want to go in.. Meanwhile i'm sweating and out of breath.. which i'm sure is NOT in my job description.. Needless to say I was pretty fustrated.

Now.. Danny is getting on my nerves... I know he loves cars.. BUT I HATE talking about cars.. he wants to bring his Toyota over to the house.. BUT its not tagged... and we do not have anything to tow it on.. So if he got caught driving it.. it would mean a ticket.. No thanks. So he got all pissy over that.. which just set my mood for the day.. At least it was Friday. Ugh.. He is Constantly looking at magazines, writing what he wants to do to his toyta.. which i'm sure is going to cost as much as an IVF treatment.. ugh.. Yeah.. Its getting annoying.

So.. in other news.. this Cycle is pretty uneventful.. i feel as if i've stopped responding to Clomid but we will see. I have to take Volt to the vet this afternoon... because he is sneezing.. has discharge coming out his eye... and breathing rather raspy. So that is at 2 this afternoon. I just pd off that Card too..but i guess 80 bucks is better than paying off 400. So I shouldn't complain I love my animals.

I'm tired.. Have stuff I wanted to get done today.. I need to hem dannys pants.. I need to make Gideons blanket and pillow.. Before the baby shower on the 3rd of April. Ugh.. Guess I should go get dressed and take my vitamins.. and do something. Joy. Yeah that was my venting.. Im just stressed and tired...

~Nicki

Ok... long weekend!

SO My long weekend started while I was at work on Sunday... Danny text me at like 9:30 said he was on his way to hospital because he got hit in the head with a trash can lid? How the hell do you get hit in the head with a trash can lid? I was certianly perplexed... So then.. his Mom texts me.. WTF!? No I don't think so... She asks me how he is doing I said I don't know i'm going after I get off work. And then she says she is on her way there.. I was very pissed and upset. I haven't talked to you in almost a year and you think I'm gonna start now? I haven't forgotten what you said to me or think of me! Yeah I was pretty pissed... So I finally get off. Mind you weather crappy been snowing all day.. and I have to drive to the hospital. OH and the state of colorado let my husband DRIVE while he was dizzy with a head injury!!! So.. I get to the hospital.. the entire 1 1/2 I was there I hardly looked at her.. and she acted like nothing was wrong or ever happened!

Well he had a CT scan.. everything was ok.. and come to find out it was a DUMPSTER lid hahah well that made more sense.. It was covered in ice and it slipped out of his hands.. nice goose egg :) So that changed the plans for monday.. since we didn't get home and in bed till about 2. We were going to take Bailey back to my moms.. well weather still hadn't cleared up, so I told my mom we weren't coming up didn't wanna risk and accident and Danny had a nice headache from last night. So then we had to go to the workmans comp dr that afternoon.. He couldn't drive.. well I wouldn't let him cause the light hurt his eyes. So.. Dr didnt' say much.. gave him 800 mg motrin... Life was good.

Tuesday.. we wait a while around the house and then head to my moms danny is feeling fine all night, get home go to bed.. Danny gets up to go to Sonic, his part-time job... I was all rearing and ready to work out.. and Danny calls.. Thought he was just bored on break, nope having really bad dizzy spells and neausa... SO he was back off to the Dr. Then he calls I have to go get him and take him to an eye specialist too make sure everything is ok there.. So I had to call off work.. thats ok! Waited at the Dr for like and Hour and a half.. good lord. Got his eyes dialated.. but everything is ok.. Just thru off his prephrial vision and his equilibrium, so its like he has a really bad ear ache. So got some dizzy med from workmans comp Dr.. Go to City market to get it filled.. go eat lunch come back to get it.. Oh sorry we have to get comformation from the insurance company they didn't accept it.. WTF!? Its workmans comp you HAVE to accept it Lady.. So we called CCOM back.. they called insurance.. i knew as soon as I drove him back to his jeep.. they would call.. I was right.. Get the meds.. and now were home...

I'm tired and ready for bed.. Clomid isn't that bad this month... of course i notice that side effects come after too.. mostly hot flashes! They suck. I'm having mood swings.. hahah whats new? Ok.. going to watch my olympics and go to bed.. Sorry this was long!!

~Nicki