Used to it...

But.. its still always hurts. IUI was a bust.. of course. I don't even know why I thought it would work. I'm pretty sure my eggs are total crap.. but there is no way of knowing.. because they can't take an egg and hold it to a light or something weird like that.. I wish there was.

So anyways.. me and Danny have been super busy getting things done around the house.. we ordered our carpet.. it was more expensive than we expected, but the carpet we're getting has a 25 yr warranty and some other good stuff including stain padding and all that good stuff... plus we got our new deck out front.. like holy crap.. we actually did something we said we were gonna do. And we have to do it.. because if we don't the wood won't be any good.  My parents came down yesterday to help make sure everything was level etc... THANK GOD they did.. or we would have royally fucked it up to put it lightly. We are halfway done.. just the rest of the top boards to put on and then to figure out railing.

I don't even know how to thank my parents for all they have done for us..

~ Bought and help put up our 6ft privacy fence.
~Bought and put in my new kitchen floor.
~Bought and put in a new side door.
~Helped put in our master bath floor and new pluming and bought supplies we didn't have enough of.
~Paid for my car to get fixed ( I paid back half)
~Put in subfloor and backer board in the spare bathroom
~Help fix the swamp on and occasion
~Help fix the seal around our NEW skylights.
~Help put up our new porch and bought stuff we didn't have enough of ( we will pay them back for this)

And the next thing i'm sure is helping with my cabinets and bracing my long set to sit straight and painting them...

I love them so much and cannot thank them enough... I wish I  knew of something to repay them but cannot think of anything...The only thing I can remember ASKING for help with.. was my car.. the rest they have just volunteered for and given their time... its so nice to get to learn all these skills.. my dad is awesome at everything.. I'm trying to train Danny to be awesome too ;) he just doesn't see this LOL.

So..on the fertility front.. I just don't even want to talk about it.. I think I want another lap done.. that way if we ever do embryo donation.. it won't hinder anything and hopefully give me a better chance.. so timing would have to be just right 6-9 months after is supposedly the best time after a lap for success.  Haven't talked to the Dr about this yet.. but I will. Right now I want to just mourn that I won't be having bio kids right now. Unless we have a miracle.. We will of course be doing this the 'old fashioned' way until we figure out whats going on.  I'm just so lost, confused, hurt and mad.

PS: I have another month of Nutrisystem on the way anyday I'm pretty excited.
PPS:  Our house payment went down.. so now we are saving 110 bucks a month!
~Nicki

Nutrisystem and other things

No I am not being paid by Nutrisystem to say anything about their product!

I started last Tuesday with what my mom gave me.. and then decided hey this isn't bad and doesn't taste horrible! So I think I decided on Wed I would like to order it for my self since they were running a free shipping and 40% off :). We got a pretty good MyShare bonus this time so I paid for it with that!  I can't wait for it to come it.. Should be here tomorrow!! I've lost 4.2 lbs in almost a week :)!! Excited to see how much I loose in a month!! I did cheat some yesterday but not overboard.. got to every once in a while!

Also.. if you knew me in real life.. you know I haven't gone more than a day without soda.. Now I don't go overboard.. like drinking big gulps of the stuff.. I drink at least one soda a day.. Maybe 2! But I have gone 5 days with out drinking it.. Now I rely on my 1 coffee a day LOL which I didn't even have today!

So in other words I'm pretty excited!

I'm itching to get outside more and get the garden going.. of course the weather has to be a butthead and not cooperate.  We did tame the grape vine the other day before we had to go to work.

Finally got the 3rd season of the Tudors :) exciting. Watching the first episode before I start vacuuming the house.. Lets not even go there LOL.

I'm sure there is more to say but I'm distracted and need to get this house cleaned.

~Nicki

Rough times...

Just wanted to let you all know who ever reads this :) I'm still here.. Most of Feb and March have been rough. This whole baby thing has gotten me really depressed and angry.. as well as my weight.. I'm stuck and cannot get out of the mud.

My mom gave me  a week worth of Nutrisystem Sucess.. So we will see how that goes and I might order a month worth myself.. So far the food actually isn't bad! The Chocolate Chocolate chip muffin I had for breakfast was pretty darn tasty. I had my first egg since November (when I was stimming) and cross your fingers so far so good.

Its been pretty hectic around here.. redoing another bath, trying to keep my house..from um falling to shambles.. right now it looks like dog hair, paper and clothes explosion. Don't judge. Depression makes you not wanna do squat.

Got outta the house yesterday and drove to Nebraska LOL went to Cabelas and spent money.. that we actually had it was pretty awesome LOL. We went with Mike and April :) Pretty good day.

We went from no money 8 days ago for Disney to almost 200!  Pretty sweet :) also got our tickets and meal plan yay!

I cannot wait for the warmer weather so I can start sprucing up my yard and flowerbeds. Its supposed to be 77 on Friday..

I have way more to say but am out of time! Hope to update SOON when I find some motivation and time!

~Nicki

Sometimes.. It just makes it all better.

Jason Aldean that is. I have CMT Crossroads with him and Bryan Adams recorded and when he sings 'Heaven'  acoustically it makes me cry and makes everything melt away. For a little while anyways.

It was a rough weekend... Honestly I don't even remember what we did on Sunday.. Or wait..we tore up our OTHER bathroom floor!! I seriously wanted to cry and yesterday I had just had enough. That stupid clog caused us an unnecessary problem.. if  we would have just rented a freaking snake in the first place we wouldn't have had this problem.. or maybe we would have?? The wax ring was like.. done like there wasn't even one there.. Every time I did dishes, ran the dishwasher or laundry it backed up into the spare tub and apparently out of the bottom of the toilet.. Yeah. I noticed the floor starting to bow and tiles cracking.. YAY.

Not cool.. It smelled SOOO musty and horrible. I finally had it.. I needed to do laundry and dishes piling up everywhere, had to be to work @ 4 am today, I told Danny to call plumbers there it was at 4pm.. Mike.. thank god he used to be a plumber. Told us.. well Danny how to cut the wood around the toilet flange so we wouldn't have to get a new one and said.. just rent a snake.. well DUH. The shit you always forget you can do.. With in the next hour the clog was gone. All was right in the world.. well sort of..

Now.. I love my husband.. but dear lord this man cannot cut a straight line to save his soul. The patch job on the sub floor.. needs to be RECUT and REDONE.. Or we will have more problems.. because nothing its supported.. on the main part of the floor.. Oh lord. I was a bad wife.. and said how horrible it looked. Now he feels horrible.. this is why he was made a mechanic. I however.. grew up with a father who did EVERYTHING.. So Danny thinks i have this perfectionist mind that everything has to look and be like everything my dad does or did. No. Not true. I was just the girl who always watched what he did and helped. My brother on the other hand.. lived in front of a screen playing games. I'm better with a saw than he is.. Hammers no so much ( I have Horrible aim).. Drills yay!


So.. yeah.. thats it in the world of the home.. Being a homeowner sucks.

On the umm..baby front?? My BBT was all out of whack.. I just quit. My temp dropped and rose 3 times! Then dropped as if my period was going to come and it never did. Been crampy on and off she's due sometime next week. So who knows anymore.. I'm about to throw it all out the window.. I'm totally at a standstill with my weight no idea whats going on.. I'm sure the I NEED SWEETS NOW week last week I had didn't help. I'm just SO frustrated anymore.. nothing ever goes right it seems.. something always comes up.. its like really?? Can we just catch a freaking break !?! I just have to laugh anymore..

Sleeping has sucked lately.. like seriously I will lay in bed for at least 2 hrs before I fall a sleep and I KNOW i'm tired.. last night was a little easier cause the pluming was resolved. One night I got 4 hrs because I just.. couldn't sleep! I tried everything before taking 2 tylenol 3s... which it still took forever to fall asleep.. OMG.  BLAH. I have to go put dishes away, get my lunch ready and take stuff out for dinner tomorrow.. Work again at 4 tomorrow.. The whole week actually.. because  I get to help set mods :) yay.

~Nicki

Haha

So I don't know if I wrote about this on here.. but my mom gave us an awesome coffee pot a long time ago.. it has a grinder in it.. Made by Mr. Coffee! They don't make them anymore.. we thought it was dead.. cause the brew button.. well any button worked.. but the time always did.. So we figured it just pooped out.. well before I threw it out oh 5 months ago? I plugged it in.. and low and behold it worked! So we didn't get a new one.. Well guess what its doing it again..So.. I don't know if its a simple thing like last time.. as put the lid down or its just done.. LOL Good thing we have a tiny one, but it leaks coffee grounds all over the place cause we don't have the right filters hahah .. It did this the last time I wanted my morning coffee.. which I don't have everyday!  So.. I'll will try cleaning it and making sure the lid is CLOSED. I swear.

Plumbing problems.. still there.. the water that comes up smells HORRIBLE I Spent a few time scooping it out.. hoping it was just standing water..nope what ever it's backing up on to is making it smell.. When you get to plunging either the tub or toilet it leaks out the bottom of the toilet.. UGH. I do NOT need to replace another floor! Its weird cause we replaced the wax ring about a year after we moved in.. I can't see why it would have gone bad so fast! But we have a plan.. (Can you tell we REALLY don't wanna call a plumber??) we are gonna replace the ring on the toilet.. again.. and while its off danny is gonna run the snake.. and or we will pour this gel cleaner down the hole lol. I still think danny is gonna have to try to get under the house haha.

I worked out yesterday.. and Jillian kicked my ass.. I did kind of an improvised workout today.. since I woke up late. Mostly to stretch out. Plus its getting to be busy season at work where I move and lift a ton! Still gotta step it up tho! Had a Banana for breakfast, 1/2 cup mini wheat crunch (which is super tasty) and my cup of coffee! Only 5 pts for breakfast :). I've been bad about taking my medicine! The weekend always throws me off.. My metformin is in my work bag because I take it after dinner. Whoops.

Gotta work at one all this week I think. I can't remember lol. But excited to work. because we will be setting the new mods soon!! So exciting! Means spring and summer are coming around the corner!


Ugh.. SO I added a Disney Ticker.. and then me and Danny after our 4 hour grocery shopping trip.. ! Thought.. what happens if we get pregnant.. I can't go.. I said.. if we got preggo this month or next.. it would be cutting it close.. then I was thinking.. should I do more IUIs? I really don't want to have to go thru the intermittent leave paperwork again.. it ends in June. I hate all the hypothetical questions you have to ask.. SO frustrating! I think i'm gonna stick to my plan.. if by some chance we get preggo this month or next We will have to try to change the dates.. cause we've already got our flight tickets. Part of me doesn't care if I'm preggo at Disney.. I'll be buying baby stuff GALORE. Then another part it sad. Cause I can't ride the rides.. But honestly I'll be SO ecstatic that we finally have our baby on the way. But me being Miss pessimist.. says it won't even happen. Big Sigh... I'm still thinking IUIs for April, May and June depending on where my cycles fall.

Miss Mash.

I have no idea what i'm going to write about.. but its been a few days.. So Sorry if this is all over the place!!

I just split coffee all over the end table.. and discovered we need a new DVD cabinet cause the one I have is full. IKEA was out the last time I went. Boo. I got it all over my Burpee seed and plant catalog.. :(  I need to order a few new seeds that we don't carry at work!

I am super excited for spring.. I'm going to have grass in my backyard if it kills me!!! I will escort the dogs out if I have to, so there is no digging or getting thru blockages for keeping the seedlings safe!

The whole weight loss thing is a stand still.. I cannot get past 229. It varies 2 lbs up to 231 and then back down to 229.. So going to be a little more aggressive next week with working out and eating. Its making me mad.. but I'm just happy i'm not back up to 245!

And I keep getting distracted by the DIY channel LOL and I can't remember what else I was gonna write So.. I'm still alive.. very slow at work.. and trying to be more active and not sit at the computer all day! I will have a real update soon!

~Nicki

Ugh.. Just UGH

So I started metformin.. No real side effects.. besides gas.. and the ones NOT mentioned on the sheet.. I have excessive hunger for SWEET things and my blood sugar was all screwy for a few days.. That was not fun. The excessive hunger has not gone away.. OMG.. it is NOT helping the whole weight issue and is reflecting on the scale.. SOB.  Needless to say I am not a happy camper.. hope it doesn't last too long I'm up to 2 pills now, started tonight.. Have to get up to 3. Really hoping everything subsides after I'm on the 3 pills and used to it.

So... My co-workers think i'm pregnant...!?!?!?!?!? Just because i'm having these cravings.. for things like Fruity Pebbles and 8:45 at night.. does NOT mean i'm pregnant.. just freaking hungry for shit from this medicine!! Nor does my incessant hair loss mean i'm pregnant either!! I just had a period  on the 21st of December.. I'm in the middle of my freaking cycle!! I had a BLOOD TEST thats Said NOPE sorry your 16 grand for IVF didn't work.  Pretty fucking sure i'm not pregnant. I don't care if you have some form of  'pregnancy guswabba' that you know someone is preggo before they do.. Sorry after 4 1/2 years of this shit.. I don't buy it.  I seriously wanted to  SCREAM.

Which by the way.. this whole hair loss thing.. needs to like end. Like. Now. I have lost so much hair.. I goggled it and came up with some weird term for rapid loss of hair.. and did not like what I found.. I pray that this reverses and I get my hair back. I'm summing it up to stress, shock to my body from all the IVF meds.. and Birth Control.. anyone of these things can cause sudden loss of hair.. But its pretty scary seeing the difference in your hair.. Not being as thick.. falling out in more than 50 strands at a time. I can see a difference and feel it. I am so sad  :(. I'm praying that my blood test that I will get done soon.. as soon as AF shows up again, it will either reveal something.. if not and it doesn't slow down.. I'm calling a dermatologist.


Ugh.. End rant and sadness.. Off to bed before I eat the couch..

~Nicki

I hate headaches.

I have been waking up with headaches for what seems like forever.. Wearing a  mouth guard helps a little but I can only wear it so long before I start getting sensitivity issues. Ugh.. I've tried new pillows high, low, soft and firm.. They all help for just a little bit. SO I don't know what to do!


I just hope that loosing weight and getting healthy will help. I can say I only gained 3 or 4 lbs over the holidays.. I think that in itself is AMAZING. I will not complain. Back on track as of yesterday and need to start bringing exercise into the mix :) There is a thing I want to get at work its a Belly Butt and Thigh thing from weight watchers. So I can do that with the elliptical and Jillian's 30 Day Shred (when I want a serious work out LOL)

Water... There are days I drink a ton.. then there are days like yesterday, I drank almost nothing! Sometimes water just doesn't taste good, but I can't have flavored stuff at work. Boo. Just need to force myself to do it.

I'm also excited for Biggest Looser :) I plan on working out while I watch it!! Instead of eating junk, like we usually did! I'm going to stick to this as long as I need to. I really hope I see changes soon, of course not in the first week but over a few months :).

Sticking to it no matter what it takes!! Of to go make lunch and get ready for work :)

~Nicki

So.. Where to go from here??

Sooo. Yeah. Change.. I hope a lot of it comes our way. There are so many things this year I already want to do or get done.

Let see, for starters.. I want the bathroom DONE.  Its just little things that are standing in our way, like putting trim around the floor, setting the sinks permanently on the wall, finishing painting the ceiling  a couple new cabinets. That's it.

Other things around the house including doing the cabinets in the kitchen, painting the doors and trim in the house. Lots of outside work. We're getting grass in the back yard if it kills me. I don't care how long, how much we have to block off for the dogs.. I'm getting grass!! A clothes line would be nice too ;)

 I think that's about it...as far as house stuff goes...

Now as far as me goes. I want to try going Gluten free, even if its just partial  and just overall eating healthy and working out.. might not be all heavy go at it, just enough for me and to help with weight loss. Of course i'll still have my splurge days.. because well who can't? No one's perfect. So I need to start researching all this junk LOL don't know what I can and can't have. Maybe I can find a book. Wish I could do a detox of some sort.. but I'm not that hard core hahah Unless it was like a 2 day thing but we all know those don't exist.

So.. still need to make my appt. They should be open tomorrow so i'll call. Ugh..I'm kinda of dreading it but want to get it over with.

I'm sure there was more I was gonna write, but gotta get ready to go to work.

~Nicki

PS: Hope all of you had a very Merry Christmas or whatever Holiday you celebrate!

2 trees and a BFN

So.. we officially have had 2 trees this year. The first one I don't know what happened.. but it was crisp as a potato chip when Danny took it out. We watered it, cut off the bottom and it still died!  So Danny being the loving husband that he is.. went out the other day and got a new tree.. LOL its not the best but its alive :)

We started with this.

Beautiful Right?

We ended with this.

See how all the branches are flat?? And its really not.. well green??

Now we have this :)

Green and Happy even tho it looks like its missing a branch at the top LOL

So.. like the title says.. our First IVF failed..Me and Danny are pretty devestated.. but are trying to move on.. Just like my nurse Jodi said  we will have ups and downs. It sucks its was right before Christmas.. and Yesterday.. It did feel like the end of the world. I am  now thinking of all the possible testing and things we can do to move on as quickly as possible. Not cycle wise but life wise. It will be a long time before we cycle again. We will need 18,000 dollars to cycle again. Due to the added need for ICIS. One thing that is still getting to me.. which I will ask Dr. Murray, is why did we have that one Chemical with our first IUI.. is a natural pregnancy possible, Or with IUI??  I will schedule our WTF appt after Christmas.

   I do want to get tested for my Thyroid  maybe any other autoimmune issues.. because I feel that something is totally wrong other than having DOR. Maybe I do have PCOS.. I want to know.. I have been diagnosed, undiagnosed   and partially diagnosed.. Really annoying. I'm one of those people.. Unexplained is NOT an option for me!!! I have symptoms of lots of things.. even if I have to go to my regular Dr.. Who is pretty awesome too.. I will. 

   I do have in the back of my mind that we get healthy and if something is wrong and can be corrected with meds that we *might* conceive naturally.. which would be the best thing ever.. Or maybe even try a couple more IUIs. I will NOT be telling anyone we are trying again.. It was just way overwhelming.. I do appreciate all the prayers and thoughts.. but It was just too much with everyone asking.. and then they can say or do the wrong things.. Which.. well just makes it WORSE. Me and Danny will go at our own pace and keep to ourselves.

   I also want me and Danny to get healthy.. I want to try not to eat out as often and when we do eat better, because there are those weeks you just run and run, then you are never home for a meal. I want to try the stab at meal planning again LOL.  Trying new things.. maybe even doing partial gluten free? I need to read up on this and see what is and what isn't gluten free. Because I know for infertiles it can be good. I haven't lost anymore weight.. well because its the holidays and the goodies only come once a year ;)! I'm happy with that. I think my motivation finally showed up to get healthier and loose weight, specially my stomach.. I hate it.. So I see a lot of sit ups in my future!  

   I really Lucked out with my husband.. He is the best ever.. Does everything he can for me to make me happy.. even tho sometimes I don't deserve it.. Like getting 2 Christmas trees? Who does that?  He said he will do anything to make me happy and whatever we can to save and try again. I really do love him.. I couldn't find another man in the world like this. He is truly a gem. Danny did get spoiled this Christmas.. and with the giant Disney Store box that came in the mail a few weeks ago... So did I ;) 

Danny did say one thing.. We might go to Disney depending on Taxes.*Maybe* in July, Aug, Sept! I am totally NOT opposed to this :) I miss it.. and we need to get away just the 2 of us.. Maybe even see my sister and Niece and Nephew. So I will gladly save and look forward to that. As well as saving for future treatments :)

Disney World 2013?? Sure!! Why not!?

~Nicki

PS: Having the worst period ever.. OMG.. I took 2 Tylenol 3 with codeine last night and woke up feeling like a million bucks.. haven't had a sleep like that in a long time. It was lovely.   

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Alot.

Those are all my meds that I am going to need for IVF... Yikes!! To include 2 vials of 900 iu of Follistim, 2 350 iu of Follistim, Lupron, HCG Trigger, Endometrin, Vivelle Patch ( totally don't know what this is for), pain meds and  Ginormous Prenatal pills, plus tons of needles and such LOL. Just a a waiting game right now. Have our first appt on the 8th! It's coming up fast!

Weight watchers is going good this time around :) had a few bad days but who doesn't! I can't complain i've only lost about 3lbs but hey you gotta start somewhere! Plus got a new scale LOL our old one weighed at least 3 lbs more than the Drs office. Now we're even!

Rocky got weighed today at almost 7 months he weighs 56.4 lbs! He' so skinny I don't know where it's all at! Probably in his noggin hahah. He's gotten so big and is such a joy to have around :)!

Well Off to get things ready for work and get some sleep!!

O.M.G

Like.. really did that just happen. We got a loan.. for IVF. A personal loan.. but a loan. Thank you lord.. So we currently have 16,000. Sitting in our saving account.. I'm waiting for the call to see how much my meds total are going to cost.. then I will call my nurse Jodi again and get going aging.. Please AF Don't be late!!

If my cycles stay the way they are going we will find out right BEFORE Christmas or Shortly after if it worked.. If we get that far.  I'm praying hard.  And Weight Watchers online is in my near future. Fo' real lol!

Me and Danny are pretty estatic right now. I officially have no more stress.. well unless you wanna count the waiting to see if this is gonna work ;)

~Nicki

Wits end...?

I think I may be approaching this.. THANK GOD my vacation.. well more or less..Staycation starts tomorrow at 4. For 9 glorious days I will not have to work.. Then Danny starts his job with the Feds.. YES FINALLY!!! On Monday the 16th :) Here's a run down of whats been going on in our neck of the woods...

- Ornery Puppy. I think I might go crazy with Rocky just by himself. I think I found something that doesn't understand the word NO or his name.

-Waiting for my next period.. in hopes of starting IVF.. We are still totally in limbo.. We just don't have a date on when he will go to Georgia.. is has to be with in his first 60 days.. So.. Yeah  If we do it and then he gets his date after his 2 weeks.. we will SO be screwed. I kinda need him here.. LOL and want him here!

-My house is falling apart.. we have decided to fix/spruce it up and sell.. Refinancing did not go as planned...Our 2nd mortgage (that we were told was not going to exist) pretty much screwed us over!

- My house is such bad shape.. I really just need to pack crap up and be done with it LOL but I have attachment issues.. yeah.. 8 yrs later and I still have clothes from HS and think I will fit into them again one day?

- I stopped working out.. almost 2 weeks.. didn't even see results not even a 1lb. even tho the RE's office said so? Clothes still fit the same if not worse! But I haven't gained any back.. even tho.. I have the worst/ longest craving ever for BURGERS.. The only thing I think of eating for dinner.. is a Burger.. don't care where its from.. just a BURGER.

- I get to watch Chloe on Sunday and Monday because he sil is camping :) we watched her last Monday too.. I sure hope we don't get Miss Cranky Chloe again on Sunday!  I would like Happy Chloe :)


- Um.. Its actually rained.. More than 5 seconds! 


-My garden is doing lousy.. its huge and green but hardly any veggies...Need to fertilize on Vacay!

-Can I hire a maid?

- The plan while we're off is to redo the kitchen cabinets.. repaint my door trim from shit brown to white.. then we have to repaint the walls eventually too. Um and maybe clean the house lmao.

Thats about it in my world.. besides my horrible cranky mood, snapping at everything and everyone... and super sleepyness and craving.

~Nicki

PS: I think I may loose it.. I hope not hahah I have alot to get done in 9 days! With out over doing it!

Still waiting...

Yep.. My period was due the 3/4th.. its now the 9th.. GO FIGURE. Life is just going by.. kind of in a lull right now.. everything seems so monotonous. Danny is just in a holding pattern waiting for his official hire call for the Feds...  We're both pretty stressed with all this change.. and waiting for IVF to get going. It seems we're never home.. but its kinda of self induced.. the last thing I want to do is clean my house LOL.We're only home long enough to do some dishes.. and my laundry on the weekends.. Last weekend was nice tho.. it was beautiful

 We took Rocky and Wrangler to the River so Rocky can get the lay of  water :) need to take him somewhere where he can SWIM. There isn't many calm spots on the river.. and not many lakes around here. Everything is going well with him.. but I don't feel like I can get much done.. because I have to watch his every move.. the only time I'm not is when I'm working out... he's in his kennel.. for 20 min.

That.. is NOT going well.. I started the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred.. and have barely lost any weight since starting weight watchers over a month ago.. and since starting the work out.. what gives?? When I actually give it a go.. nothing works. Ugh.. I'm getting super frustrated.

I guess tomorrow its opening weekend of the Renaissance Festival. I asked Danny if he wanted to go he said sure.. but I'm not comfortable leaving Rocky in his crate for 8 hrs yet.. he's still to young. So..needless to say Rocky and Wrangler will be spending that day at Grandmas...so that way he doesn't freak out.. he still has big brother there. So hopefully a day of relaxation.. well as much as you can get walking around LOL and some fun :)

Right now.. I'm tired.. I wish it was time for Danny to get home.. I'm tired of smelling fire's at night.. its horrible for my allergies...

Here's some recent Pics :)

 BAT DOG!

 What did I do?

<3
~Nicki

Day 4 :)

 Day 4 - If you won the lottery what would you blow your money on (after charity and bills, of course) list 10 material possessions you would buy for yourself.

This could take me a while.. I know a few.

1. I would buy a 57' Chevy Bel Air 4 door, in Seafoam Green and White :) My dream car!
2. I would buy land and build the house of my dreams!
3. A Green House!!
4. I would Open my Bakery and Danny's shop :) also to Feature Kayla's art!
5. I would buy horses...
6. Matching furniture!
7. ( i'm stuck...). Um a really nice Camera ( My mom totally got a Canon Rebel.. I'm SO Jealous)
8. A Mickey Mouse Themed Kitchen
9. A New Computer
10. An iPhone!


PS: Meltdown is over .. sort of. We have to wait at least a month to call back.. but for now..I do not have to fork over 900 some odd dollars in Property tax. ( We are supposed to have it escrowed.. out of payment , they say it has been but haven't sent out payment yet.. so to ignore it and check back to double check)

PPS: Diet fail.. Doughnuts for breakfast.. why do I stress eat?? Wish I knew how to stop that!!!

~Nicki

Day 2 :)

Now that I cleared up that mess!! Sorry *lol* Still figuring out the new layout...

So let see.. Day 2.. whats in my Handbag.. (this should be interesting)

The obvious: Checkbook, Bank cards, rewards cards, and  a non working pen.

Also there is Old grocery lists, receipts, coupons, an old bank card that needs chopped up. I have  lip gloss, lipstick, a shout wipe, benadryl , hair tie, 2 things of floss ( I blame my mom.. but she's right you can never go with out hahah!) and cold sore stuff  Thats about it..

I am def not the girl who carries he life in her purse!!  I HATE huge bags the biggest one I own I never use.. hahah simply because everything gets lost!!

Little Update: Weight loss is going ok.. I need new batteries for my scale So haven't actually SEEN results but I am cutting back on how much I snack and what i'm eating, exercising a bit more :) We took a walk today before the wind started. Yesterday was kinda a cheat day we ate Sonic for dinner, but honestly thats the first time we've ate out in a while :) except for Subway.. but they don't count because its good for you :) and I never get anything but Turkey and Ham lol!

 So thats about it on the home front right now :) Gotta go get started on Laundry and do dishes and make our dessert for the week!! And take an allergy pill..

~Nicki

Click!

Something finally clicked.. I'm trying to eat better.. For real. Exercising and trying not to eat after 8 at the latest :) So far so good.. My scale needs batteries... So i'm avoiding that. But I should probably get it back.. I can't wait for payday to get here.. ordering a diet pill to help a bit... Nothing drastic tho :) They actually make a diet pill with a version of Crack in it!? NO thanks! Basically what has brought this on.. I've been SO upset and stressed lately.. So many babies are on their way if they aren't already here... If I hadn't of miscarried i'd be due Late April... Which is only a few months away.. I think that's whats hitting me the most. But there is nothing I can do about it... April and Mike just had their baby girl Chloe :) We can't wait to meet her! (that's the thing I'm sad.. then I relish the moment.. wanting to buy all these baby things!!) Jeff's little one is due on our 5th wedding anniversary. Three fellow infertile friends.. one had her baby the same day as April, one just found out she'd preg again not trying, and one is due in a few months! Plus another lady at work is due any day.. and tons of other girls at work that don't even deserve it but I won't go there!! I hope that our time is coming soon.. I need to call RE and make an appt to see what our next step is. Danny applied for the Feds.. I hope that he gets picked up because it would mean a lot of bills pd off and we will do so much better in the money dept! Ugh! gotta get ready for work! ~Nicki