I guess I could update this thing!

Sorry for the lack of updates.. been busy around here working and not seeing my husband.. which is really starting to take its toll.. we are at each others throats lately and I do not like it :( not to mention the 'spark' has kinda gone away... We're gonna try and work on it... but its hard when we hardly see each other except when we are sleeping or saying Hi and Bye. We really need to get away.. September cannot get here fast enough.. I'm at the burnt out stage at work.. I need a break. Like NOW. Before the craziness of the Holidays get here.

Carpet goes in tomorrow!!!  As things go back in place we are going to rearrange and purge.. I have so much stuff.. like alot. Especially clothes! Holy moly the clothes! I just need to let go.. alot is outdated.. at least for my age.. Most is from HS which next year will be 10 YEARS. OMG *die*  Plus we are going to move the cats room into the spare bed room and then just rearrange furniture in between rooms and such. So.. if we ever have kids... its not covered in hair, smelly and and barfy lol!  I do have rugs for the cats room and under my dining table.  They are indoor/ outdoor but I got them at half off  ;) so 60 bucks for TWO rugs instead of 1 is awesome. I've been good with that this year!!

I want a child so bad.. I'm just not sure its going to happen... At least not at this point in my life. I really want to have another Lap done and then go from there but I just don't know. I hope after everything gets finished which in all reality its just little things now.. one big thing left is the cabinets. ( I would love new ones) we will finally have a plan.. that will get going soon. Its just depressing to think about right now. One thing that pisses me off is all these girls here just have babies.. It so frustrating. One at work just got married and like was preggo before it even happened and one girl is throwing her an 'emergency baby shower ' Because he has like nothing and is due in 5 weeks.. WEEKS. She said oh I don't know if I want the baby.. Um girl you go married if you didn't want it you know how to prevent it. She doesn't even have a crib or anything for it to sleep in.. all she does is bitch about how hot it is and eats nothing but crap. UGH.. Makes me SO mad!

I think i'm done for now.. gotta finish laundry, mother in law and her friend are coming over to help up rip up the rest of the old carpet.. which by the way.. Never think you vacuum gets all the dust/dirt.. OMG there was an insane amount of dust/ dirt under my carpet I could have died....


~Nicki

Used to it...

But.. its still always hurts. IUI was a bust.. of course. I don't even know why I thought it would work. I'm pretty sure my eggs are total crap.. but there is no way of knowing.. because they can't take an egg and hold it to a light or something weird like that.. I wish there was.

So anyways.. me and Danny have been super busy getting things done around the house.. we ordered our carpet.. it was more expensive than we expected, but the carpet we're getting has a 25 yr warranty and some other good stuff including stain padding and all that good stuff... plus we got our new deck out front.. like holy crap.. we actually did something we said we were gonna do. And we have to do it.. because if we don't the wood won't be any good.  My parents came down yesterday to help make sure everything was level etc... THANK GOD they did.. or we would have royally fucked it up to put it lightly. We are halfway done.. just the rest of the top boards to put on and then to figure out railing.

I don't even know how to thank my parents for all they have done for us..

~ Bought and help put up our 6ft privacy fence.
~Bought and put in my new kitchen floor.
~Bought and put in a new side door.
~Helped put in our master bath floor and new pluming and bought supplies we didn't have enough of.
~Paid for my car to get fixed ( I paid back half)
~Put in subfloor and backer board in the spare bathroom
~Help fix the swamp on and occasion
~Help fix the seal around our NEW skylights.
~Help put up our new porch and bought stuff we didn't have enough of ( we will pay them back for this)

And the next thing i'm sure is helping with my cabinets and bracing my long set to sit straight and painting them...

I love them so much and cannot thank them enough... I wish I  knew of something to repay them but cannot think of anything...The only thing I can remember ASKING for help with.. was my car.. the rest they have just volunteered for and given their time... its so nice to get to learn all these skills.. my dad is awesome at everything.. I'm trying to train Danny to be awesome too ;) he just doesn't see this LOL.

So..on the fertility front.. I just don't even want to talk about it.. I think I want another lap done.. that way if we ever do embryo donation.. it won't hinder anything and hopefully give me a better chance.. so timing would have to be just right 6-9 months after is supposedly the best time after a lap for success.  Haven't talked to the Dr about this yet.. but I will. Right now I want to just mourn that I won't be having bio kids right now. Unless we have a miracle.. We will of course be doing this the 'old fashioned' way until we figure out whats going on.  I'm just so lost, confused, hurt and mad.

PS: I have another month of Nutrisystem on the way anyday I'm pretty excited.
PPS:  Our house payment went down.. so now we are saving 110 bucks a month!
~Nicki