Just when you think...

Life is going smooth.. a wrench or two..or three..or four get thrown in for good measure! So let's see.. where are we umm April? The 3rd of February our house went under contract.. I went into a complete panic! We didn't have a house and we were both feeling conflicted about actually moving now and thought about taking the house off the market.. we apparently the lord had other plans! We accepted.. and got to looking.. looked at what seemed like every house. The house we chose isn't exactly the perfect house.. smaller really than what we had.. but omg the yard, and a garage.. and a DRIVEWAY! Yeah.. it needs some work.. but what doesn't? It had only been on the market 4 days.. I knew it wouldn't last.. the first house that we had originally thought of that was still available.. i'm glad we didn't pick it even for the size.. its just not where we wanted it! We decided to just go for it! Then the wait.. and packing began.. our house passed inspection and the new house did too.. The guy we dealt with who bought our home was really nice and let us stay a few extra days after they closed. I was really upset.. and at that point had really mixed feelings about the new house and moving..

That was wrench number one so to speak... here's wrench number two.. On February 9th... we got a call from Mick.. our certification worker wanting to know if we wanted to take the placement of a 4 1/2 month old little girl.. Uhhh....Well we gotta talk about this LOL I was floating either way.. it was danny having the issues committing.  Moving, baby yah know its a lot!? Well we talked about it and said what the hell. My schedule at work changed to where we could accommodate child care with Danny's mom. We were thinking of course that the good lord won't give us more than we can handle.. So little Miss S Came into the picture.. and she is such a good baby :) But i'm not gonna lie.. we thought.. what were we thinking.. We can't do this.. we're not meant to be parents.. we have no time to do anything.. you name it we probably thought it. Arguments galore.. stress... wanting to be at work.. and not at home.. Yeah.. it was rough.. Being a foster parent... and a first time parent are ummm lets say not a good combo!! We are finally getting into a routine.. Miss S is now 7 1/2 months old.. with 5 teeth and almost crawling!  She can be very demanding.. but we are learning to roll with the punches :)

So.. here's wrench number 4. February 24th...  I was only 4 days late for my period which isn't unusual.. was only on Cycle day 34.. but not having any symptoms of my period coming.. at all not one. So I finally broke down and had Danny go get me a test while I was at work and I would take it that night or in the morning.. It's one of those days I won't forget.. I didn't tell Danny I was taking it, it was like 8 at night, didn't think anything of it.. I literally about passed out when clear as day two lines appeared no faint.. two dark lines.. I walked out and handed it to  Danny and said I think i'm going to die. So lets move, have a foster baby and have  a baby!?  Yeah.. on the verge of loosing my mind after that one. I called my RE but since it was natural they wouldn't do a beta.. I'd have to get a normal OB.. So I called April the only person I could think of and let the cat out of the bag and asked for her OB number.. So began beta hell.. my first number sounded promising.. at 178.. then the worst vacation ever started. Lets just say.. I got a sinus infection that wouldn't quit and little Miss got sick too.. we were all at our wits end.. My symptoms started fading.. I just wanted to know if there was really a baby in there.. Waiting for my 2nd set of numbers to come in.. which they apparently send off to another state!? Due to the weather it was delayed 3 DAYS. I missed my RE where I would have numbers that afternoon or the next morning. My Numbers hadn't even doubled.. they went up to 280 something? So that Sunday since I wasn't feeling better and about to go back to work, we went to the ER.. Where they did a beta and had results in less than 40 min... and they did an ultrasound.. Where I'm pretty sure it was just an empty sack. My beta had gone down so I knew the miscarriage was on the way.. it took about a week for my body to realize that it wasn't pregnant anymore..

We moved March 16th.. and are still getting settled.. we have a new kitchen already almost finished anyways just need toe kicks and countertops.. A lot has happened since we got Sofia.. its all too much to write about.. maybe one day i'll get caught up. Lots of ups and downs but we're making it work and getting better. But i'm tired and need to go to bed taking care of a busy girl and a new house and working full time is a lot of work!

If your still out there We're alive and kicking in the blogosphere :). Maybe an update on little Miss S Soon when I get some more free time!

~Nicki

Sorry to dissapear!

My computer bit the dust and finally got another one... having to remember passwords for everything is NOT fun and frustrating.  Will have a real blog post soon! I need a shower and sleep.

~Nicki

Never enough...

Time in  a month, week, year to accomplish what you want too! Sorry for the Hiatus.. kinda needed. We have been trying to keep busy, i'll try to recap everything that has happened since September...!

I seriously cannot believe it is December.. After Disney, where we had a blast with my family!!! Getting to spend time with my brother, sister and her family plus my mom and dad was a blast! It had  been too long, I wanna go back now.. but it will be a few years till our next visit! Of course..my period showed up.. and I forgot to pack enough necessary items.. I will say.. tampax.. in cardboard applicators.. OMG Worst ever. Travel on the way back was a disaster.. Almost like our trip down on our honeymoon stuck  for 10 hours in  Dallas.. Only this time.. We never left Orlando.. Because that was the day someone caught the air traffic control center on fire in Chicago.
   We had boarded the plane, luggage and ALL. Only to be told to deboard as well as our luggage.. and go to the help desk to try and get another flight..no one is going thru Chicago.. AWESOME. That took about and hour.. only our lady didn't pay attention and our next flight plane was coming FROM Chicago.. Delay number 1,2,3 and 4. We were supposed to leave Orlando at 8 am.. we had been up since 4:45am? We left Orlando around 4:30pm, yeah for real. We miss BOTH the connecting flights  she gave us.. the last seriously by 5 MINUETS. We were put on a standby flight to Denver... Mind that our car is in Colorado Springs..that plane was to leave at 9pm.. we prayed that we would get on. Thank god we did.. Danny's mom came and got us in Denver.. drove us to Springs airport and we got our car and drove home.. Got home at 2am. Ugh.. Then got up the next day and got our luggage in springs lol.

   October just kinda flew by.. Danny's grandmother passed away.. that took all of October.. hardly ever home. Had a serious Indian summer... its still going.. Been in the 60s :( ! We had a potential placement... it fell thru. We started attending a church and we love it! We go to life group on Tuesdays  and just enjoy it very much :) its so nice to have support and someone to go to when we need some help with anything! I had my pap.. and then talked about anxiety.. and started some medicine for that.. cause I had enough.. thankfully its a low dose and not an antidepressant. So far so good, of course some anxiety is still there, but it's so much better!  That about sums up October, very BLAH and Drama filled to say the least.

November.. My brother came for Thanksgiving. which was wonderful :) our visit wasn't long enough :(. He deploys again in January for his 3rd deployment over seas.  Work was crazy busy and exhausting...We got a call for a placement.. a new born and a 4 year old.. Yeah... We said yes.. and then it just was NOT going to work.. She was terrified of Rocky.. Sorry they are my babies too... I am not the type of person to shove them outside or leave them in a kennel all day.. Because she's fine when he is in there.. Nope sorry.. ( she had been bit by a dog and his exciting nature scared her to the point of screaming tears and running from him) She was A OK with Wrangler.. cause he's old and gentle.. Rocky is 2 1/2 years old full of puppy. Also.. my anxiety went thru the roof.. like physically ill anxiety.. NO sleep at all that night.. for the fact I don't know how to parent a 4 year old.. Infant.. I can learn with them, 4 yr old's already have some sort of routine and language barriers.. Ugh. Yeah we were a mess. This brought up a host of problems that me and danny are trying to work thru!  The lord said they were not to be our kiddos... Back to square one. Not much else but running errands and all the normal things.. don't think we had but two days at home that month LOL

And then BAM December.. Wait what!?!  Yeah holy moly.. Christmas shopping will be done  Tuesday... and then I need to start baking my goodies.. cause um year i'm gonna loose my mind LOL The month is quickly passing.. We will get our tree Tuesday too lol We just got decorated... I don't know where this year has gone.  Gotta get packages in  the mail.. and I don't think were doing Christmas cards again this year.. But that isn't the end of the world.. Although it seems like it sometimes! We will survive.. If only I could find a company that will print address on the envelopes LOL!

That's all for now! Off to go order furbabies Christmas presents...!

~Nicki

Official.

We are finally licensed foster parents in the State of Colorado! Only took forever!! So excited and nervous.. we will hopefully get a placement after coming back from vacation :) or it could take another few months.. all depends on what situations arise!!

I am quite frankly going bonkers.. Work tomorrow and then we're off and i'm super grouchy.. Aunt Flo is bound to show up any day.. Hows that for vacation!!?!?  UGH. oh well.. such is life.. I just want to go!  Right now.. Its bed for me because i'm so tired.

~Nicki

PS:I have lots to say but no brain function to do so.. an update blog soon I hope!

Umm Hello September??

I had totally planned on blogging more in August.. and then September showed up! Holy cow this year is flying by, it's insane! We go on vacation in 15 days.. Ugh that is one thing that can't come fast enough!!

Our home study should be finalized very soon. I think we have one more meeting with Mick and then when we get back should just be waiting for placement!! Eek!

Other than that the weeks have flown by between keeping the house clean for showings, the garden, and working! I've been flat out tired lately.. work is just boring and my mornings are busy before I go to work!

So right now.. I'm off to bed!  My work schedule lately is all out of whack.

~Nicki

Getting Nervous!

I feel like we arr coming to the end of an adoption process if you will ! We have 2 more home study dates, tomorrow and then the next monday.. Yikes! Our one one interviews are tomorrow.. gah! We literally have almost everything.. like if we were get a placement tomorrow or miraculously get pregnant.. we'd be all set.. except for a bath, medicines, diapers and like butt paste lol!  I have clothes for both girls and boys.. in almost all sizes up too about 2t, I have bath toys, pacifiers, bottles, a boppy, playmat.. everything I could think of!!

There is no doubt in my mind any kiddo that comes into our home will be loved and spoiled as if it were our own.. I most defiantly have some fears.. cause it will be SO sudden that everything will change... I hope we smooth on in with a few bumps to be expected .. I think we will get a placement after we come back from Disney.. money wise I don't think a place ticket that soon before going will be feasible for us money wise :/ But if it comes down to it.. we will make it happen :). I'm just scared that nothing will work out day care wise and everything will fall apart at the seams.. Ugh. gonna have to sit down with hubby and go over everything again.. not to mention have to get our questions prepared before we say yes to any placement!  ( We can ask questions to make us feel good about the placement, type of abuse, siblings, handicaps, allergies etc)

JUST SO NERVOUS!!! I have no one to ask about anything.. everyone thinks the first placement we get will be our forever kiddo.. It doesn't always happen that way! Its a long process..I hope we are prepared for it, Guess i shouldn't say hope.. We ARE prepared for it.. Now If I can stop this shopping spree I'm on ;).. Needless to say.. Um The UPS man probably hates me LOL!

~Nicki

Ahh!

So we will be doing the first part of our Homestudy TOMORROW. GAH! And the finally out of no where were getting some where! Now i'm all nervous and such, hoping I have everything to get started... Which I'm sure I do.. ordered a few things, that I think I need LOL which I'm sure not all of them I do.. Lets see

-Receiving blankets ( the price for some of this stuff.. like 2 blankets.. for 31 dollars WTF?)
-Bottles I went with Playtex ventaire.. Avent I kept reading had tons of leaking issues. But got a set so multiple sizes!
-Bottle drying rack
-Play mat :) bought a little Einstein one can be for either sex and was one of the only ones I like had lots to take on and off :)
-Health and safety kit
-Nose sucker that you can actually clean! I've seen the insides of the bulb ones after the get cut open.. yuck. So this is a bulb but screws open and closed for easy cleaning!

That was on Amazon ( its evil :) )

I also used the $100 gift card my brother got us for Christmas since it was just sitting around..I don't shop there much!

I got a few more outfits in sizes I don't have ( Major clearance woo!) 3 girl outfits and 3 boy outfits, boppy pillow and 3 toys ! All for under 100 bucks cause I'm loving sale stuff lately!

This weekend I took all the tags and washed all the clothes i've accumulated over the last 6 years.. it was little sad..but happy at the same time.. hoping to get to see a little one in them soon :)!

The house hunt.. is well the house hunt.. Ugh.. Seriously every house I like.. literally goes under contract the night before or 30 min after we look at it.. Like.. Not kidding.. Good thing we have one lined up.. Possibly! Its not on the market! They work with an investor so he would fix some stuff and we would get first dibs!! Crossing my fingers on that one! Well off to go water the garden since its not going to rain..

~Nicki