*sigh*

I was bad... I caved.. I .. or I should say We couldn't take it anymore.. 2 weeks is frankly too long to go with out relations...Now i'm regretting it :( Hope it didn't screw anything up.. Its not like it was rough or anything. But we both feel some stress relief haha well relief in general!

As I sit here and watch Biggest Loser.. It makes me want to be proactive about this whole thing.. granted I do Not weight over 300lbs thank god..might as well be... I'm lethargic 80% of the time, I get out of breath easy.. and some other things associated with being overweight. ARGH.. Small steps.. small steps need to take them...

I am SO ready for Monday to get here.. so We can go to the Dr and figure out the game plan... Ugh not ready for a full work week..Ew..

~Nicki

Its Offical...

I HATE My mother in law.. She is words can't even describe.


Danny came home I asked him ' How much sugar he puts in his coffee' Because it was all gone And I needed to make bannana nut muffins.



I will finish this tonight *lmao* Just watched a funny ass thing on TV...

Ok.. After a not so good day.. I'm back! After a funny ass moment on Top Gear, I could not type with tears in my eyes from laughing so hard and all thought left me...

So anyways... after asking about how much sugar he responds with ' Don't i'm stressed i'll leave' in a very angry voice.. WTF? I asked why and he goes I want to give my aunts a piece of my mind etc etc.. Mind you he doens't even SPEAK to these 2 women.. I'm sure everyone would like too give them a piece of something.

Then he proceeds to say his mom is so stressed from watching her great neice and nephews... she is on vacation and says that she just might quit.. well what the fuck is that going to solve?

So he starts going off and crap saying that he's going tell them off. I say what will that do? Nothing. Not a damn thing.

Then he wonders why they hell i'm mad? WTF!? Seriously you HAVE to ask that? First of all.. I'm sick of your mother begging for you attention when you get close.. we've already come about an inch from divorce beacuse of this woman.. and its happening again.. She has called me a bitch too many times.. now brining her personal problems on my husband? I know he's your son... but come one..we have our own problems.. he doesn't need to solve yours!

If you don't want people walking all over you.. say NO and MEAN it once in a while.. If you don't want to watch your great niece who is 6 months old for 3 day straight because her mom is doing what her mom did to her.. Say ' Come get your kid I'm tired' Plain and god damn simple.. Seriously.. SAY NO... Don't tell your son your problems and expect him to fix them.. Cause lady It AIN'T happening!

Then.. i'm sitting on the couch all quiet and asks if i'm still mad.. Yes i'm still mad because my husband overreacts and I hate it.. aboslutely hate it. Thinks so irrationally.. that it won't do any good to act on what you just said you were gonna do.. So yes i'm still mad...

Here's the thing.. He can't be mad at something I do.. and then I get apparently get mad when he does something? Excuse e' moi' You get mad when I do.. So why the fuck can't I get mad at something you do? I'm sure this happens in every realtionship.. I told him its life get the fuck over it.. I'm tired of you coming up with the same arguments over and over! And Apparently when i'm upset he feels bad? Well I would assume so.. so then when he's upset I can't be mad and let it stew and get over it on my own time.. I have to be over it then and there.. No. Sorry. If I want to stew I should be able to Stew. So when that wonderful feeling of 'Oh i've made her mad... what an ass I am.. ' You should be upset I think.

So.. Needless to say.. I've done everything myself today.. with out asking for help...He has tried to suck up horribly today.. All dishes done and put away.. bought a small bag of sugar.. vaccumed.. and changed the sheets.. Typical man.. not sure if its worked yet.

ARGH.Oh and AF showed up today.. Joy.
~Nicki

I'm such a sap...

I cried at Forrest Gump.. Who cries at Forrest Gump!?! Apparently I do.. I never used to cry at ANY movies.. then I saw Pearl Harbor.. and it was over hahah First movie i've ever cried at. And every thing after that that has anything remotely sad.

I'm probably really sappy right now because I think AF is about to arrive. I just really want to start a new cycle.. but I don't know. I'm not sure how aggressive my Dr. is wanting to be with treatments.. I'm glad we're getting procedures out of the way, BUT I want to start treatment like NOW.. i'm not getting any younger here.. I'm about to turn a quarter of a century old.. And i'm feeling it.. trust me. I have bags under my eyes, horrible chin acne problems when i never used to .. EVER. Wrinkles.. Horrible dry crocodile skin.. Overweight.. ARGH *screams*

I hate PMS...Enough said about that..

I seriously need some motivators or something because.. I came home.. after working 7-3 took an hour and a some change nap... went and Got subway and a pint of B&J cookie dough ice cream.. Came home sat on the couch checked FB and such... and Now I just got done watching Forrest Gump.. The entire thing.. cause there was nothing else one. I wanted to come home work on our Classic winnie the pooh puzzle.. and maybe scrapbook.. But I didn't.. I didn't move. Sad I know...

After my post op i'm seriously wanting to start exercising ... A little bit by a little bit.. we will see how this goes... I think i'm done.. I might have a break down when Danny gets home.. I can feel it building. BLAH

~Nicki

Few things on my mind....

I think I over did it a bit today.. Bending over in the garden, bending over to fold, wash and dry laundry... Did a butt load of dishes... and vacuumed.. Ugh. And we made yet MORE pickles.. ( I can tell i'm tired.. I just had to retype pickles about 5 times) I made dinner for myself.. and Brownies.. Which I have had.. about 3 I'm stuffed.. So I guess that means no Reese coldstone ice cream for me.. Boo. Oh well I don't need it anyways ha!

On the infertility front.. I'm excited and nervous to get on the bandwagon again.. Knowing that some endo and a kinked tube was unkinked and removed.. what will happen now? A quick BFP or a longer struggle? I'm hoping that my body cooperates with me.. I'm due for AF in about 8 days.. If that happens.. I will be right on time.. and could do a Cycle starting right after my Post Op on the 4th.. I'm praying and hoping thats what happens.. if not.. maybe ANOTHER natural cycle would end up in a miracle BFP? The question is out there somewhere.. Just hoping and praying that something happens!


Here's something I've always wondered.. People always ask me why I have to buy name brand stuff, granted I'm getting better at buying non-name brands.... I Figured out why on a few items as to why I like name vs. non...

~Non brand Peanut butter.. Taste WAY too sweet.. Jiff. Is JUST RIGHT.. Danny doesn't care hahah

~Cling wrap.. just discovered this one.. Great Value Does NOT have little teeth to rip with.. Glad Cling wrap. DOES. Amen.

~Laundry Soap.. Lower name brands don't get your clothes clean and they don't smell as good or are over powering! I use All :) it smells fantastic and gets my clothes clean! (Granted this is personal preference)

Hmm.. i'm sure there are a few more but those are the major ones I can think of :)

Ahh Fall.. I LOVE Fall.. Now if it would just get COOLER!!! With Fall brings the comfort of Baking and Cuddling up on the couch.. Pants and all my cute shirts :) haha! Oh and my cute Justin Boots!!

My garden.. is dwindling.. I now know why I HATE growing tomatoes.. they are easily infested... Yeah.. My volunteer tomato has Aphids AND Spider Mites.. Nope not growing anymore even for Salsa.. I'll go buy umpteen million lbs of maters for making Salsa.. Our Pepper plants are finally starting to Die.. We have LOADS of peppers left.. Its crazy. I keep finding ridiculously larg Cucs... I'm talking would cover a 1/4lb burger, you'd have a pickle in every bite! I did pick one that made a whole pickle he's marinating in the fridge as I type!

I now have 3 sugar pumpkins.. just noticed the 3rd this morning.. I'm not water as much so I'm not sure if he will be tasty... The 2nd is turning orange.. lets see if the 3rd makes it!

Speaking of pumpkins.. I know its only the 21st.. We got our pumpkins for carving.. We get ours from a local guy in town.. he grows MASSIVE Pumpkins! Its crazy! His biggest one came up to almost my waist.. It would have taken a few hours to clean him out! (But I still want him) We picked 3 HUGE Pumpkins for 20 bucks :D!

Now if you know me or my parents.. this is one thing that is a MUST at Halloween.. I've done it every year since I can remember... Yep even when I was out of HS... and in College.. Just ask my parents.. I Beg.. and or Go buy my own.. Danny never did this much growing up.. I think its a wonderful thing to do! Its fun sticking your hand in the goop and scooping out the slime! Sometimes we bake the seeds :) Just like going to cut down a Christmas tree every year has become a tradition.. This has too... Its good to have them :) I was estatic when we drove by on the way to the bank that he was selling.. So.. we had to stop by... We got 3..!! Here they are!





And just so you can get and Idea of the size...








And just because :) This was from a random road trip we took a couple weeks ago.. we Ended up at Lake O'haver.. It was so beautiful and peacful!




Sorry for the Long winded post!

~Nicki

Forgot to mention!

That the nurse said I don't look 24 :D and that they thought my mom was with my husband *lmao* Then danny was self conscious about his hair all day... *he has premature balding* Poor guy :) I still love him!

Yesterday we went shopping with mom.. got 2 pairs of jeans and cute top, and new tennis shoes :)! Danny got a new pair of jeans yay! I was about 3 inches away from fitting into Levis.. So close hahah! Dunno I just like those jeans :)

One thing that sucks.. is im in the mood.. and can't have sex *pout*

Think the gas is mostly gone.. Thank god! That was miserable!!! Well off to do errands for the day.. Get out of the house !

~Nicki

Well I guess...

I'm doing good after surgery... Frankly the worst part is the Gas.

So the morning of surgery I was really nervous.. of course starving. But we get there I really have to pee.. and of course the bathroom was full.. then it was full again.. I'm like I HAVE TO PEE! I just drove and hour and a half to get here.. let me pee! My mom met us there.. she was freaking out asking how many surgies he's done etc.. Well I'm pretty sure if he studied with the guy who came up with this surgery I'll be O.K.

She was pretty freaked out that I was going under.. well so was I, but i'm pretty sure i'd wake up haha. We watched the Price is right.. got my IV... OW. I do not like them.. They hurt. Why must you have a giant floppy plastic like needle drive fluid into your body? Just let me drink.. i'm sure i'd much rather have a catheter... maybe not.. just give me some depends then. It hurt the entire time.. Apparently Red heads with freckles have sneaky veins.. Thanks lady...

BUT I am thankful she got it on the first try! Last time it took 3.. Owie. All of the nurses we're VERY nice so that made it very pleasant as could be anyways..!

The scariest part was them rolling me back to the OR.. I've never had this before.. I was asleep before they took me back for my foot surgery... so that was a bit nervous.. But then I was out and awake before I knew it.. I woke up saying I forgot I was having surgery.. ha! My throat was really irritated.. so I felt like I couldn't swallow... that wasn't cool.. I kept clearing my throat and the nurse said to stop that.. Yeah right It felt good! Got some feel good meds and was off to recovery. Feeling pretty dam good!

I Could feel like I was bleeding... the lady never put a pad under me so I was all messy.. sorry for TMI. Got to recovery.. was just sleepy but wasn't feeling too much pain. Just 3 little inscions glued with derma bond.

I was feeling pretty good the rest of the afternoon.. not to hungry. I had to sleep on my back.. I HATE sleeping on my back... The gas made it hurt to sleep on my side... So needless to say I slept like Shit.

Next day was ok.. Was not hungry AT ALL.. Full feeling all day and nauseous.. Yuck. Gas bubble seemed to get worse under my shoulder couldn't nap/sleep at all.. then I developed one under my rib cage.. X_X That one sucks. It jus stabbed and stabbed.

Had a crying fit.. that made it worse! All i wanted to do was sleep... took one percocet before bed.. laid with heating pad on shoulder to attempt to sleep.. finally drifted off.. woke up at 4 took another percocet.. then woke up @ 10:30 ha! Still feel tired tho.. Only have had to take 2 Ibuprofen most of yesterday and today.. Appitite came back somewhat today.

Thats about it Moms coming down tomorrow to take me shopping. Woot :)! Only thing i wish would go away is stabbing pains in shoulder and under ribs.. They Suck.

As for having endo. I have a little bit( mom said she thinks everythin was fine because everything in the pictures was all pink) I told her of course it would be... it looks like it should be there plus she has NO idea what she's looking at.. Also One tube was kinked but came Unkinked when flushed :)! I will know more as of the 4th so untill then more waiting...Boo.

~Nicki

Long.. Long few months ....

And it just keeps getting longer!! Sorry for the lack of updates.. time is just flying by.. I cannot believe it is almost the middle of Sept!! CRAZY. Christmas will be here before we know it.

Well In good news.. we are rid of the Jeep :) and are now the proud new owners of a brand new 2010 Ford Fusion!!! We love it! We don't have to worry about coming up with 1000 bucks just to get the jeep ready for winter this year :) I'm excited about that hahah!

In bad news.. My car got fixed.. that threw us 671 dollars in the hole.. But thanks to my wonderful parents for letting us pay them back when we can! So.. need to pay $134 dollars for tags for the jetta.. don't want to know what the Fusion will be.. Eeek! And have to fix heater before weather gets cold. At least we have a fireplace if need be!

Gardening is coming to a close.. we made some awesome salsa.. don't know if i mention that in my last post.. it took 15lbs of tomatoes.. But it SOO good.. Ate my watermelon.. it was scrumdiddlyumpscious!(no idea if thats spell right but its the right word haha!) Still have a few jars of pickles to make and pumpkins to pick :) but they aren't ready yet!

I'm getting very nervous. My lap is on Thursday at 1030 am.. yikes! Of course my mom listens to everyone but me.. saying that I will get preggo the month or 2 after this.. while I wish and pray that will happen.. I am not getting my hopes up! But i'm praying like mad that it will. That would be the best Early Christmas present EVER. (but the thought of being preggo during the summer down here is not equally as pleasing but i'll take it ;) )


My allergies were doing great.. Then I went and topped my volunteer tomato plant.. bad Idea.. and I got a Mosquito bite on my boob.. It sucks.

I think that is all.. I'm going to go be nervous and keep blowing my poor little nose and watch the finale of Americas got Talent and then the premiere of Parenthood!

~Nicki

Canning... and gardening :)

I am thoroughly enjoying this new found thing!! It takes sometime but Its all worth it in the end!

Now I just need to get a bigger garden to yield more hahah and have some fruit trees and I'll be set!

Me and Danny we up till.. get this.. 3 AM.. EEK! So didn't expect it to be that late! But we have a case worth of Salsa!! ( recipie from pickyourown.org) and More pickles (we cut them thicker this time) They were a little mushy when thin... So they better be good.. I'm tired..and we got 8 hrs of sleep.. I'm not exactly having the healthiest lunch.. Hahah Amp and sinckers! I need a boost before work.. Totally exhausted..!

We experimented with Green Beans.. we dill pickled them.. Kae at work said a guy swears by them.. So we will see... We still have a mass of Jalapenos that need to be picked.. They will be pickled also.. just not dill hahah. Unless danny wants them that way I don't eat them! we have 3 over flowing plants.. The season is coming to and end. Its getting cooler .. Sort of.. we condsider 80 cool haha! No its getting in the low 40s at night.. first frost is FAST approaching!! Grow Watermelon GROW!!! and My pumpkins ;) I have 2 Now! Mr. Watermelon sounds hollow as hell.. he has to be close!! But no sign of him letting go of the vine.. Boo.

I love how I can grow my own produce and can it and preserve it!! Its an awesome feeling :) something that got lost along our current day and age! It tastes SO much better than store bought! I'm just tickled pink with myself :)

I was going to type something else.. but I lost it.. I'll get back to you on that haha!

~Nicki

Mom might be right...

In the fact that I might have a Sinus infection.. Ugh.. or an ear infection.. Either way I am not feeling so hot. Clogged ears... Nose and Mucos central! I need to make an appt.. For my woman 'well check' Boo. Guess I could bring this up while there.. and maybe get some free samples of my nasal spray hah! Blah.. I'm SO tired lack of sleep sucks... I get to sleep in tomorrow :D!

Is it sad.. I got off work 3 hours ago.. and I have NOT moved from the couch or the computer? I think so.. Oh well.. I'm pooped! Should be making salsa.. and taking clothes out of washer.. Ha! I'm being extremly lazy right now.. and about to fall asleep.. so the post I was going to make.. Is going to have to wait!!

~Good Night!