30 Day Blog Post Challenge!

Found from a fellow blogger :) over at My Journey TTC... So Far (Hope that worked my first attempt at a link hahah! I will attempt to do this.. Haha No guarantees! So.. Day one, the meaning behind my Blog name.. I'm not cool and witty So Our Journey to Parenthood and Life is all I could come up with! Simply stated :) trying to make our family and dealing with Infertility and the hardships and triumphs that life throws at us as a married couple!! ( I wish you could do this in ALL one blog post.. but then I see that it would be REALLY LONG teehe ;) )
 Day 1 - What is the meaning behind your blog name?
 Day 2 - What's in your handbag?
Day 3 - What's in your makeup bag?
 Day 4 - If you won the lottery what would you blow your money on (after charity and bills, of course) list 10 material possessions you would buy for yourself.
 Day 5 - 15 facts about yourself.
 Day 6- A picture of something that makes you happy.
Day 7 - Where do you like to shop?
 Day 8 - Describe your dream vacation.
 Day 9 - List 5 things you want to do before you die.
 Day 10 - What is your favorite book?
Day 11 - If you could have 3 wishes, what would they be?
 Day 12 - List 5 pet peeves.
 Day 13 - List 5 guilty pleasures.
 Day 14 - Put your iPad on shuffle. List the first 10 songs that play.
 Day 15 - Show your favorite outfit or fashion pieces.
 Day 16 - How did you and your partner decide when you were ready to start trying to conceive?
Day 17 - Discuss the most ridiculous thing you ever heard about conception. Where did you hear it? Did it work for someone else? Did you try it?
 Day 18 - Besides Mothers Day, what is the hardest holiday for you as an infertile?
 Day 19 - Write a letter (one that you never have to send) to a fertile in your life. Did they hurt you? Support you? Tell them how you feel, all the things you can’t bring yourself to say in person.
 Day 20 - Discuss how you found your way into the ALI community, and what being part of it has meant to you – good and bad.
 Day 21 - If you had gotten pregnant that first month you started trying, how would you have been a different parent? What changes have you made to your parenting style (either current or future) in the time you spent trying to conceive?
Day 22 - What was the first baby or pregnancy-related purchase you ever made? Was it before or after you started trying to conceive? Or was it after you were already pregnant? Why did you choose that particular item to buy first? If you haven’t purchased anything yet, why not?
 Day 23 - Talk about how you chose your RE.
 Day 24 - If a very observant stranger were to walk into your house, what clues could lead them to believe that you have struggled with infertility?
 Day 25 - Have you ever bonded with someone IRL over infertility?
 Day 26 - Were you the product of infertility? Was anyone you know the product of infertility? How do you know? Or do you just suspect based on circumstances like age differences between siblings, time between marriage and conception, etc.
Day 27 - Talk about a time when you made someone in your life understand more about infertility.
 Day 28 - What do you use the “nursery” for right now? If you already had a baby, what did you use it for before pregnancy?
 Day 29 - If you had known that you would have trouble conceiving, what would you have done differently in life? If you already knew, did that knowledge affect your other life choices?
Day 30 -Tell us about a friendship you lost or a relationship that changed for the worse because of infertility.

Click!

Something finally clicked.. I'm trying to eat better.. For real. Exercising and trying not to eat after 8 at the latest :) So far so good.. My scale needs batteries... So i'm avoiding that. But I should probably get it back.. I can't wait for payday to get here.. ordering a diet pill to help a bit... Nothing drastic tho :) They actually make a diet pill with a version of Crack in it!? NO thanks! Basically what has brought this on.. I've been SO upset and stressed lately.. So many babies are on their way if they aren't already here... If I hadn't of miscarried i'd be due Late April... Which is only a few months away.. I think that's whats hitting me the most. But there is nothing I can do about it... April and Mike just had their baby girl Chloe :) We can't wait to meet her! (that's the thing I'm sad.. then I relish the moment.. wanting to buy all these baby things!!) Jeff's little one is due on our 5th wedding anniversary. Three fellow infertile friends.. one had her baby the same day as April, one just found out she'd preg again not trying, and one is due in a few months! Plus another lady at work is due any day.. and tons of other girls at work that don't even deserve it but I won't go there!! I hope that our time is coming soon.. I need to call RE and make an appt to see what our next step is. Danny applied for the Feds.. I hope that he gets picked up because it would mean a lot of bills pd off and we will do so much better in the money dept! Ugh! gotta get ready for work! ~Nicki

Not so sure..

That i'm digging this new layout blogger thing has... It's just so.. WHITE. Blech. I went back today and read some older posts.. I can't believe that I've had this thing 2 years tomorrow!! Crazy.. and still no baby!! I think about all I did today.. since my house was clean..(amazing) Was shampoo and vacuum the cats room. Other than that I've been pretty lazy today. Haven't eaten a ton which is good.. I wanted to work out.. But once again lack of motivation.. Maybe me and Danny can go for a walk in the morning? Ugh.. Much harder than you ever think.. But after looking at pictures of myself.. I cannot believe what I look like.. and how huge I am :( Waiting for Kae to come over to help me finish my first crocheted blanket for little Miss Chloe Madison. Mike and April came over last night for dinner which was the bomb. It made me long to have a round belly and be anxiously awaiting her arrival.. in less than a week. But then I sit and think how terrified i am of actually having a baby.. I'm so ready to be a mom but then I think.. what If I can't provide what they need? What if I can't change their diapers because it smells bad? Or can't handle the baby drool because it makes my stomach turn into knots? How will we handle baby care.. etc. Its all a jumble in my head. But we want it so bad. We're so ready. Ugh.. Need to get off here.. Biggest looser is starting again :) Maybe this will make me motivated! ~Nicki

Good Bye 2011.. You Sucked.

Hello 2012 :)! You just have to be way better than last year!!

I didn't really make any 'resolutions' as we never stick to them.. So we will just go day by day :) All the Christmas Decorations are put up except my Snowmen on the mantel :) Its still January.. although we are experiencing early Spring weather here.. Gotta love Colorado! When I get my mom's old curio cabinet I'll put them in there!

There is a few things that NEED to happen this year.. Debt paid off which we are slowly working on :) Weight needs to be lost.. and I NEED to get preggo hahah well.. not NEED more or less WANT. I want to try and be more organized which with the help of Pinterest just might happen!! Keep my house cleaner.. i'm such a disorganized person I hang on to EVERYTHING. It needs to end haha.


Anyways.. those are just a few things that I want to happen in the new year :) We have a fresh start.. at least it feels like that anyways.. Now if only old debts got erased at the start of the new year we'd be good ;)! I did find a bill that hadn't been opened from the university.. eek a little over 1400 on ONE BILL.. EEK! Gotta get cracking on the Dr. Bills not to mention what we still haven't paid from the other ones.. a little at a time.

My house is SLOWLY returning to normal still need to shampoo my carpets.. Really do now because Wrangler helped himself to the ham bone out of the black eyed peas.. Butthead left slobber all over the floor!

I think thats about it.. Just a quick update :) Off tomorrow to! Then Back to normal next week. Spring is coming.. I cannot believe how fast this year went.. Crazy.

~Nicki

Merry Late Christmas!

I know its late :) But better late then never! I hope Santa and your loved ones treated you good!! I know they did me :) Best Christmas in a long time!

Now I have a long list of things to watch and read :D New pots and pans (whoops just bought some!) BUT that means I can finally Godwill the oldies! AWESOME Baking Pans and new cooking gadgets ;)! New pjs, a shirt and new boots! The cutest slippers ever.. Beankitty is in love with the Puffballs on them.. I keeps having to shoo her off hahah.

Oh and the best one of all.. It made me cry and then Danny felt bad!! A while back in the Hallmark store I saw these Disney plack.. (I <3 Disney ) They said some of the most precious things.. one of them just stood out at me.. Even miracles take a little time - Cinderella. Danny bought it for me.. its on our entertainment center. Its so true.. I hope and pray!

Danny got alot of Toyota stuff he has NO excuse not to work on it now hahah. A bunch of tools and stuff, welding equiments and a new carhartt, few clothes and movies, cds and a foodie things :p hahah

SO. Anyways..I'm off today.. I wanted to clean like a mad woman.. I am slowly.. Washing clothes and dishes. Need to sweep and mop the floor. I wanted to SO bad shampoo my floor.. and then the dog walks in and tracks much everywhere.. Hmm.. Might have to lock him in for a while. I need to change the sheets, Vacuum.
Clean the bathrooms.. Which.. something is going on in the toilet in the spare bathroom.. I clean it at least once a week because we don't use it often. Its growing stuff.. I think its because of the skylight giving too much heat and sun to the water... So it could be algea eww.

Rearranged the cabnites a little so my pots and pans are on either side of the sink.. going to take some getting used to! Been the other way for 5 years hahah. We'll survive ;)!

I cannot blieve the new year is right around the corner.. I sure hope 2012 is good.. We seem to have 1 good year then 1 bad year.. This was a bad one. I have more to post but I need to get cracking on this house. Its filthy!! So more later :) It will be more a new years post!

~Nicki

You can tell...

When its the Holidays around our house.. Because its a disaster zone.. My floors haven't been swept/mopped in a long time.. When's the last time I Vaccumed? No Clue. My carpets really really need to be shampooed. Its all I can do on the weekends to get laundry done and dishes cleaned. My poor cats room looks like a tornado went thru is because of lack of vaccuming! Ugh.. This is the first weekend we have been home for more than 3 hrs. Yeah.. Crazy.

I just have a little shopping for the hubby left. Then I'm done. All of our decorations actually went up in a timely manner this year :) Happy about that! I had only a little I wanted to write about in this blog.. but since I finally have time.. that list has grown to alot. Not sure where to start...

Well It feels as if I will be the last woman on earth (at this point) to ever have a kid or be a mom. First off.. I suppose.. (Sorry this is going to be like super out of whack)

I can't remember if i've mentioned the 2 young 20somethings at work (20, and 21) That are preggo.. The 20yr old.. didn't think you could get preggo on Birth control, and the other 21yr old.. already has 2 young boys.. and got preggo with her THIRD just So she could possibly get a girl!?!? WTF is wrong with people. I Swear.. SO that was a blow. THEN my new co-worker.. Infertility always seems to make its way into a conversation when i'm involved. She she knows.

While working together cleaning up toys. I said I'm so ready for kids so I can play games with them and all the fun stuff.. She then says yeah me too i've always wanted to be a young mother blah blah. Then she goes to say her period is all out of whack.. I wanted to Die right there.

The Monday before all that.. we were car shopping with my sister in law.. and mother in law.. Holy Hell I will never do that again. Anyways.. after a long afternoon with no sucess.. We stopped at the mall so I could return a bra... I really didn't want to.. But they didn't have it to reorder in my size.. *sigh* so She returned it and started looking at Bras to replace that one.. My mother in law makes the comment 'Will this one make a baby' KNOWING flat out our issues.. I'd had it.. I walked out of the store balling my eyes out.. Needless to say I still have the Bra. After SHE was upset she explained to us that I need to be happy for other people or they won't be happy for us, That we should stop after one kid.. that our marriage is going to fall apart and that we need to stop thinking baby baby baby.. So um.. Yeah. Its bee a rough month infertility wise.. It just keeps piling on.

So fast forward to today.. I finally got to see Gideon after Lord knows how long.. I missed that little guy :) His fave word is NO and Mommy *lol* He is in love with Doc, his kittes and puppy :) Adorable little guy! So.. then Jeff came over to catch up.. He asks me to sit down.. I'm all O.K.. why? So I sit down and he pulls a fucking u/s photo out of his pocket.. All I could say was Sriously!? GET THIS.. They have been dating 10 wks.. she's 9 wks preggo.. Yeah.. Nice. I swear.. Something is out to get me... And its winning. Infertility 4 Nicki 0

He said that he had a very heavy heart with telling us because of what we have been thru. OH ALSO They were using protection. !$@#$^. Him saying that didn't make it any better. It still was a swift kick in the crotch.

Ugh.. I'm going to sit miserably on my couch because.. I'm sick.. for the first time in forever. Blow my nose 500 times and then go to bed.. and Bake in the morning..For the weathermans sake.. there better be snow on the ground in the morning.. I need some happiness! Yeahh so there has been my life in a nutshell right now. Anything else? I think if my sil or brother was having a baby next that might be the icing on the cake.. :(

~Nicki

Mrs. Grinch

That's who I feel like right now.. I'm a walking Grinch Bomb.

I have been so pissy at home I blow up at anything.. Poor Danny :( He's handling it all in stride because he knows i'm just not me right now.

I think the fact of spending another Christmas with out a child..again.. Is really getting to me. Just seeing the magic in the littles kids eyes when they see the lights and Santa's everywhere.. Its a killer. How can you get in the christmas mood when you see that around you and you can't see the sparkle in your own kids eyes? *sigh* I still haven't called about IVF.. I'm scared that they will say no we can't work with you or.. You need to loose 50lbs before we try.. Ugh.


I cannot get in the Christmas sprit this year.. I just can't! Sure I wanna buy gifts for Danny.. But we are still adjusting to the loan and getting everything worked out in the money Dept. So I can't buy as much as I always want :) So I just try to get the meaningful things that everyone will appreaciate. Afterall Christmas is about being with your friends and family not all about the gifts.

Also.. Meeting up with Kayla this weekend to go shopping. Texted Stacey to see what she was doing and haven't heard back.. But she will have her new puppy this weekend so.. I guess I'll go another month with out seeing her or the Munchkin.. God I miss him.. Growing up so fast :(. I'll probably have to end up mailing his gift. *sigh* I hate work.

I have to order my Christmas cards.. I should probably do that before I go to work..

~Nicki