Mrs. Grinch

That's who I feel like right now.. I'm a walking Grinch Bomb.

I have been so pissy at home I blow up at anything.. Poor Danny :( He's handling it all in stride because he knows i'm just not me right now.

I think the fact of spending another Christmas with out a child..again.. Is really getting to me. Just seeing the magic in the littles kids eyes when they see the lights and Santa's everywhere.. Its a killer. How can you get in the christmas mood when you see that around you and you can't see the sparkle in your own kids eyes? *sigh* I still haven't called about IVF.. I'm scared that they will say no we can't work with you or.. You need to loose 50lbs before we try.. Ugh.


I cannot get in the Christmas sprit this year.. I just can't! Sure I wanna buy gifts for Danny.. But we are still adjusting to the loan and getting everything worked out in the money Dept. So I can't buy as much as I always want :) So I just try to get the meaningful things that everyone will appreaciate. Afterall Christmas is about being with your friends and family not all about the gifts.

Also.. Meeting up with Kayla this weekend to go shopping. Texted Stacey to see what she was doing and haven't heard back.. But she will have her new puppy this weekend so.. I guess I'll go another month with out seeing her or the Munchkin.. God I miss him.. Growing up so fast :(. I'll probably have to end up mailing his gift. *sigh* I hate work.

I have to order my Christmas cards.. I should probably do that before I go to work..

~Nicki