I guess I could update this thing!

Sorry for the lack of updates.. been busy around here working and not seeing my husband.. which is really starting to take its toll.. we are at each others throats lately and I do not like it :( not to mention the 'spark' has kinda gone away... We're gonna try and work on it... but its hard when we hardly see each other except when we are sleeping or saying Hi and Bye. We really need to get away.. September cannot get here fast enough.. I'm at the burnt out stage at work.. I need a break. Like NOW. Before the craziness of the Holidays get here.

Carpet goes in tomorrow!!!  As things go back in place we are going to rearrange and purge.. I have so much stuff.. like alot. Especially clothes! Holy moly the clothes! I just need to let go.. alot is outdated.. at least for my age.. Most is from HS which next year will be 10 YEARS. OMG *die*  Plus we are going to move the cats room into the spare bed room and then just rearrange furniture in between rooms and such. So.. if we ever have kids... its not covered in hair, smelly and and barfy lol!  I do have rugs for the cats room and under my dining table.  They are indoor/ outdoor but I got them at half off  ;) so 60 bucks for TWO rugs instead of 1 is awesome. I've been good with that this year!!

I want a child so bad.. I'm just not sure its going to happen... At least not at this point in my life. I really want to have another Lap done and then go from there but I just don't know. I hope after everything gets finished which in all reality its just little things now.. one big thing left is the cabinets. ( I would love new ones) we will finally have a plan.. that will get going soon. Its just depressing to think about right now. One thing that pisses me off is all these girls here just have babies.. It so frustrating. One at work just got married and like was preggo before it even happened and one girl is throwing her an 'emergency baby shower ' Because he has like nothing and is due in 5 weeks.. WEEKS. She said oh I don't know if I want the baby.. Um girl you go married if you didn't want it you know how to prevent it. She doesn't even have a crib or anything for it to sleep in.. all she does is bitch about how hot it is and eats nothing but crap. UGH.. Makes me SO mad!

I think i'm done for now.. gotta finish laundry, mother in law and her friend are coming over to help up rip up the rest of the old carpet.. which by the way.. Never think you vacuum gets all the dust/dirt.. OMG there was an insane amount of dust/ dirt under my carpet I could have died....


~Nicki

Back to normal.

For any of you that watch the news, have noticed all of the things happening natural disaster wise... On June 11th around 1230-1 pm MDT a fire broke out around the south entrance of the Royal Gorge.. It spread fast.. Burning a little over 3,200 acres in 2 days. It was crazy.. a little while later around 130-2 pm MDT a fire broke out in Black Forest, burning 14,280 acres and consuming 503 homes over 10,000 people were evacuated, more than 3,000 homes were save due to the fire fighters and first responders. It was insane. Both us and my parents were affected by this fire.. My parents ended up getting evacuated and stayed here from Wednesday after noon till Saturday afternoon. Talk about stress.. worrying if the winds were going to shift and take away everything they have worked for.. Having 5 cats and 3 dogs (large) in our little house.. and 4 people was way over whelming.. not to mention only  1 bathroom.. which while they were here, put the floor in and the toilet LOL ( they were bored and anxious).  This fire is now the largest in Colorado history as far as damage goes.

The Royal Gorge fire burned everything around the Gorge, Revenue for our state was lost :( our lively hood (what Canon City is known for) Is gone.. Rafters might not be able to raft past the gorge due to the trolly lines being in the river.. We're just praying with time that everything comes back bigger and better so our town can recover and do our part for people to enjoy this beautiful state. Its just so sad that we have to deal with this.. We need so much rain to recover.. the melt off that feeds the Arkansas River is happening fast and the river will return to low point somewhere around mid July.. which is way early :(. Do a rain dance please?


So while we try and get back to normal.. which may take awhile.. its shocking to think how close my parents came to loosing everything.. the fire was contained around 3 miles from their home..  We are now taking precautions to be prepared if something were to ever happen. We live in a Canon anything can happen.

Carpet gets installed on the first ... we have to rip everything up!  Ack.. this could be super crazy and stressful moving everything.. But thats where we have been.. I have another month of Nutrisystem I will start tomorrow.. even tho I got it last week. Its just been super crazy..

Just figured i'd let you all know where i've been! Prayers for rain, everyone who has lost their homes and been affected are greatly appreciated.. Fire season is just getting started.. we won't get 4th of July this year again, but its safer that way. And seriously If I see you throw a cigarette butt out the window.. I will turn you in and I hope that 1,000 dollar fine teaches you a lesson.. not to mention i'll kick your ass.

Used to it...

But.. its still always hurts. IUI was a bust.. of course. I don't even know why I thought it would work. I'm pretty sure my eggs are total crap.. but there is no way of knowing.. because they can't take an egg and hold it to a light or something weird like that.. I wish there was.

So anyways.. me and Danny have been super busy getting things done around the house.. we ordered our carpet.. it was more expensive than we expected, but the carpet we're getting has a 25 yr warranty and some other good stuff including stain padding and all that good stuff... plus we got our new deck out front.. like holy crap.. we actually did something we said we were gonna do. And we have to do it.. because if we don't the wood won't be any good.  My parents came down yesterday to help make sure everything was level etc... THANK GOD they did.. or we would have royally fucked it up to put it lightly. We are halfway done.. just the rest of the top boards to put on and then to figure out railing.

I don't even know how to thank my parents for all they have done for us..

~ Bought and help put up our 6ft privacy fence.
~Bought and put in my new kitchen floor.
~Bought and put in a new side door.
~Helped put in our master bath floor and new pluming and bought supplies we didn't have enough of.
~Paid for my car to get fixed ( I paid back half)
~Put in subfloor and backer board in the spare bathroom
~Help fix the swamp on and occasion
~Help fix the seal around our NEW skylights.
~Help put up our new porch and bought stuff we didn't have enough of ( we will pay them back for this)

And the next thing i'm sure is helping with my cabinets and bracing my long set to sit straight and painting them...

I love them so much and cannot thank them enough... I wish I  knew of something to repay them but cannot think of anything...The only thing I can remember ASKING for help with.. was my car.. the rest they have just volunteered for and given their time... its so nice to get to learn all these skills.. my dad is awesome at everything.. I'm trying to train Danny to be awesome too ;) he just doesn't see this LOL.

So..on the fertility front.. I just don't even want to talk about it.. I think I want another lap done.. that way if we ever do embryo donation.. it won't hinder anything and hopefully give me a better chance.. so timing would have to be just right 6-9 months after is supposedly the best time after a lap for success.  Haven't talked to the Dr about this yet.. but I will. Right now I want to just mourn that I won't be having bio kids right now. Unless we have a miracle.. We will of course be doing this the 'old fashioned' way until we figure out whats going on.  I'm just so lost, confused, hurt and mad.

PS: I have another month of Nutrisystem on the way anyday I'm pretty excited.
PPS:  Our house payment went down.. so now we are saving 110 bucks a month!
~Nicki

Already?

June.. Already?? Seriously this year is FLYING by!  We have just about 3 months left till Disney.. We actually made it to our goal of $1000 dollars for spending money! I'd say that's a miracle, plus we're over that by 10 dollars woo!! So anything else is bonus!! Looks like i'll be getting my dishes and silverware!!

In other news... this 2ww went by fairly fast.. of course the last few days before testing are going slow.  Trigger was out 9 days after trigger. I'm not having symptoms like last time.. although its 6:30 and I could take a nap. I've been the moody bitch from hell.. totally unintentional I think Danny wants to murder me. I don't know if its PMS or the Crinone, only doing it once a day.  Oi..

How is it that during the hottest part of the day its about 75 in the house.. but as the sun starts setting it gets up to 81!?! Ugh.. need new swamp cooler belt AGAIN. Thank goodness for AC and the portable swamp.

My brother made is home from his 2nd deployment yesterday :) we will hopefully get to see him soon! As I get older I miss my brother.. I hate not being so close.. Just have to enjoy our time together as we get older and don't get to see each other often because of him being in the military now.

In other news... we have someone coming Tuesday to come measure for CARPET!!! Omg I'm so excited!! Like .. I didn't know you could be so excited for such a thing. We will get all the stuff for the porch and spare bathroom too. Now.. just to get it all done!!


I think thats about it.. not much besides work going on here.. me and danny are on different schedules for now.. I don't have my Jetta anymore *sob*  Such is life one day i'll get it back.

Now off to do something.. maybe laundry and vacuum.

~Nicki

Sometimes its nice...

To have a walk in a park.. That's what I'm comparing this cycle too.. Was definitely low key, because  unless you were Danny, the Doctors Office, and my Mother in law ( danny let it slip, but thats ok she doesn't pester!) you didn't know.. yeah I didn't tell ANYONE.. I wanted to, but it was for the better as much as I love my family and friends.. they pester and keep asking questions, which is just added stress. The cycle went so smooth and stress free.. for the most part.. Been a bumpy month money wise of course but when is it not? Next thing I knew I was triggering and then going in this morning at 930 am for the IUI.

 Thats where we hit the glitch.. lol, Danny went and gave his sample at 730am, then we went for breakfast and grabbed a couple of things and went back. So we wait... and wait.. oh its gonna be about 30 more min.. insert panic. So we just sit there.. 10 rolls around.. Jodi comes out and tells me everything will be fine, there is a 4 hr window.. so I was like ok and felt a little better!  We didn't go back till almost 1030 and then about 10 min later we had the IUI. It went smooth, we talked with Jodi for a few min and then laid there for another 15. I gave my Follistim back I have 2 300 vials from our IVF, frankly I don't think it worked well for me unless I have Menopur to go with it.. and I don't like it cause it burns!! So I got Crinone in return ;) since all mine expired in March UGH!  So thankful I love that office :)

Anyways.. Now onto the 2ww.. feeling a little crampy this time around.. we had 18.8 million swimmers by the way :).  Always on the way home I feel nauseous its weird. not sure how the wait is gonna go.. hopefully fast. We're both praying hard that this works, like for real.. I wanna be buying baby furniture and doing a nursery after we come back from Disney.. like for real I don't care if I'm preggo at Disney. You can still have fun!  We seriously.. just want one baby now.. the road we have traveled has not been easy and all we could ever ask for now is just one baby to give our unconditional love, if another one came after that.. it would be just as much a blessing.

It was nice to have a day off kinda straightened up the house and catching up on shows and whatnot. Not much else has been going on around here besides getting the garden planted, and working on the patio in back and planting some flowers up front. Just chugging along, its getting hotter and the days are getting longer.. we have our first wildfire of the season.. stupid wind and dry weather! Hoping they get it contained soon, its not near here but it still affects us and our air quality yuck.

Think thats about it.. Monday our only day off together is going to be super busy.. Yikes. Hopefully productive busy.

~Nicki

So uhh...

Remember when I said we wanted to do a couple more IUIs before actually moving onto Adoption process of some sort. The months just kinda ticked by and I really didn't think it would actually happen. Well me and Danny were talking wed night...brain running 90 miles per hr... we decided to just do it.. Aunt Flo was due in a few days, so the next morning I called and said I'd call when I start etc.  Well.. Guess who had an exactly 32 day period!? ME.. Like holy crap!  Um... never happens!

Sooo CD 3 u/s will be on Sunday, got my meds.. here I was expecting to spend 145 dollars for some little pills... (we're doing Letrozole again) I get the voice mail from the pharmacy  listen to it and it tells me the total.. I was like oi here we go.. it was only 12.42.. I'm like that is not my prescription.. Just then Lisa who works in the Pharmacy says you have to kiss Dawn and give her a hug, she found a discount for it. I was soooo shocked! It totally made my day! Been having a shitty PMSy week. So Pretty excited about that :)

Thats it fow now.. gotta work at 7 am tomorrow.. Boo.

Getting Crafty around here!

I have SO many ideas floating around in my head... not just crafty things but organization things..I think i'll do a bullet post because.. its just one of those things LOL

~I found fabric.. like pretty canvas fabric to make some Pillows and an ottoman for Danny's feet so they don't rest on my coffee table all the time!!

~I'm going to have Kae make some curtains to cover up the skylights so all my new bathroom stuff doesn't get bleached and then for the kitchen to keep the heat out :)! I still want some light for the spare bathroom, but not that harsh! Because of my Orchid in there! Plus.. I'm not this talented while sewing hahah.

~I have been told to make either a pillow case or t-shirt dress for Courtney's little girl due in Sept :) need to make Chloe some too!

~I want metal coated baskets for my chest freezer... I'm tired of digging thru everything. I rather pull out baskets!

~I want baskets for our cabinets to organize junk...

~I need a storage thing for my canning jars.. they are taking up SO much room in my tupperware cabinet.

~I want to take the humongous cabinets above my washer and dryer  out and then put 1 cabinet and then a self.. but I think this will have to wait till we get  a garage.

Can you tell i've been searching pinterest LOL people have some good ideas out there.. just wish I could think of them!!

In othere news.. I feel like we just on repeat.. just not going anywhere but not going backwards.. UGH. Frustrating I tell you. I just wish stuff like this wasn't so expensive and have to make everything look decent just to bring home a baby. I'm pretty sure we are not the only couple in a holding pattern. Right? Ugh.. we probably are.. I seriously wish money grew on trees! Even if it was 500 dollars every 2 months.. LOL

Well off to get ready for work. Boo.