I wish I could scream.

I just want to scream and cry and throw a big fit. Instead.. I'm just pouting and not talking except in short sentences... Just drew a blank...


So I'm so over trying for a baby... I'm just at that point I have no hope left.. when you have put everything you have into something and get nothing in return. Everytime you see that negative staring back at you, you just get a little more deflated each time.. Well i've been delfated so much I just have no air left to deflate... That's how i'm feeling right now.. Deflated.. beyond deflatedness.. If thats possible.

I'm going to go to try and have a good weekend and drink a massive amount of wine... (hopefully hahah ) See my brother for our once a year visit.. which sucks, and try not to argue with my mom or be in a bad mood.. this should be interesting. Gotta go finish laundry then bed.