Whew!

Well AF Finally showed up Yesterday, with some horrible awful cramps!!  BUT I didn't have to get anything to get her to show up so that makes me happy!!!

All of my meds will be here today.. Yikes.. its starting to feel real!! I will start birth control tonight. Getting nervous and excited!

Well in other news.. these past few months have gone by in a blur!! The garden is long gone, my  puppy is huge and my house is staying clean.. we have money in the bank and life is just good!

Still don't have a new car for me.. Its all up in the air lol but after the first of the year we will start looking hard.. specially if there is a bun in the oven! We are thinking of selling my car to my sister in law.. She's all for it lol. So we will see. it just seems like a pain in the ass to trade my car in.. even when its pd off! I'd rather just have money down. They keep low balling me on my car.. Ugh. I really.. really want the Ford Edge still.. But also now I like the Toyota Highlander... BUT with all these recalls over the years.. not so sure!!

So thats about all thats exciting going on around here lol! Its kinda nice not to have drama in the life right now :) You get to enjoy more! I def don't feel stressed at all anymore lol except work.. but hey such is life!

~Nicki

Always Waiting...

Yep..just waiting for AF to arrive.. Think I will have to call and get provera even tho I know she will show up soon. They need me to be on a certain time line cause of the holidays... So if she ain't here today sometime or tomorrow gotta call my nurse. I've had all the symptoms and nothing.. even took a preg test that was negative of course. Ugh.. Evil thing.. Late when you want it.. early when you don't.

PS: She might show up today cause i'm wearing khaki pants and white underwear LMAO.

~Nicki

O.M.G

Like.. really did that just happen. We got a loan.. for IVF. A personal loan.. but a loan. Thank you lord.. So we currently have 16,000. Sitting in our saving account.. I'm waiting for the call to see how much my meds total are going to cost.. then I will call my nurse Jodi again and get going aging.. Please AF Don't be late!!

If my cycles stay the way they are going we will find out right BEFORE Christmas or Shortly after if it worked.. If we get that far.  I'm praying hard.  And Weight Watchers online is in my near future. Fo' real lol!

Me and Danny are pretty estatic right now. I officially have no more stress.. well unless you wanna count the waiting to see if this is gonna work ;)

~Nicki

Keeping Busy!

That's what we are doing around here! Rocky finished up his classes :) and he did great! Gotta figure out where to start the duck thing LOL. Its all new to us!

Keeping the house clean.. well cleaner than it ever has been LOL. Just need to put the finishing touches on the bathroom.. But we need to be home to do that. Which it seems we haven't been...  Its kinda driving me nuts. Like i'll be by myself today but have plenty to keep me busy and then tomorrow we have an appt at the bank in springs to see about getting and actual loan for IVF. Again.. not some over the phone company.. so it will be a one try for us.. Maybe a FET. Kinda sucks but.. such is life.. and I don't know if I want to tell any one about it this time around.. Haven't told Danny that tho.

Finding a new car for me is becoming a pain.. I've even test drove stuff other than the Ford Edge. I really want it.. So i'm going to get one.. eventually I've even knocked stuff out of it I want just to get the payments where we want them. We walked away from a really good deal on a Toyota Venza all because we didn't know what kinda payments the IVF loan would give us. So we will see where tomorrow puts us.. We just don't want to be back to where we were as far as money.. we are able to enjoy things now.. or buy stuff just because we can.. If we wanted to. We did splurge on one thing... a 47" TV :) our old one is only a 32 which is now in the bedroom.. I think we did pretty good.. Our 32 was 500 something.. the new TV was 548.. I think we're doing good! LOL, Early Christmas for us :)!

Well off to do stuff for the day! Some cleaning, laundry, dishes, catch up on shows and some scrap booking!

~Nicki

What to say?

Well a friendship that i've had since being a freshman in HS.. that was in 2000. Has ended. At first I was hurt  as to how it happened then the events after the fact, made me angry to where I didn't care anymore. This person is Stacey.. who is my Godson's Gideon's mom. So I'm going to take a wild guess she doesn't think of me as such anymore.. But as far as I'm concerned you can't just revoke that title.


Basically I had a conversation with one of her 'so called friends' over some frustrations and anger that I was experiencing at the time about Stacey, that I eventually planned on talking to her about.. IN PERSON. But this girl took it upon her self to show her these conversations over her phone because she thinks being vindictive and having archived messages is the greatest thing ever for ruining lives.

 I hadn't a clue that this was happening.. But where is it HER prerogative tho show her those conversations? I don't know how they expected me to know what they were talking about and then expect me to apologize?  So instead of Stacey coming to ME and talking to ME about the problem she chose to believe everything Sam showed her without asking what really was going on. I don't think that is a very mature friendship.

I will admit some of the things I said was uncalled for.. but I was upset and frustrated.. At least for me.. If you are always complaining  you have no money.. but you go out and buy a $250 puppy? I think you should rethink what is going on. Not to mention if you think living in the country is a piece of cake.. when you wanted to get AWAY from the snow and move to Louisiana? Yeah.. Winter storms out there are FAR worse than where you were at to being with. But I can't tell you or give you any advice when you are too stubborn to receive it, she always did the opposite.

I am not a friend who will tell you how to live your life or raise your children. It is non of my business.. Am I wrong for thinking this way? If I have a major problem with something or someone.. trust me.. I will let you know. But if its minor  little things.. That eventually will blow over and you will realize what you did, then why should I mention anything about it? I guess my way of dealing with issues and problems aren't the same as everyone else's.

Her so called friend had the audacity to message me back before Stacey did either time. Saying things like i prevent her from having any female friends? Or that all I care about is my pride? Sorry sweetheart.. Far from that.. My friends are my world, instead of you saying ' Stacey I don't want to tell you what was said, you should ask Nicki' But instead you went behind my back and expected me to realize that all this was being said? Massive BS. So after a month of being ignored by you both I tried to figure out what was going on and everything blew up in my face.

I don't have to prove anything to anyone.. If no one wants to accept my apology then I'm over it.  It is not worth my time when someone wants to be so vindictive and immature, it sounds like someone OTHER than me doesn't want to her to have any friends. I have all the love, family and friends I need. I'm sure i'll make new ones along the way, but I sure as hell won't divulge any information even if I just need someone as neutral party. Learned my lesson on that one. My family and friends know i'm a good honest person and wouldn't have me any other way :) And that's the way I like it. I don't need to be fake, bitchy or anything like that to get my friends to like me.

It sucks, but it obviously wasn't a friendship that was meant to be lifelong. If she wants to talk somewhere down the line.. I'll talk but I don't think another friendship will ever come out of it.

Hopefully that wasn't all over the place and who ever reads it gets the gist :) But its my blog and I feel so much better getting this off my chest! I'm sure there was more I wanted to put in it.. Like horrible bad words LOL but I won't sink down to her level.. plus she didn't even get 2 words from me.. It wasn't a conversation between me and her but she tried to make it.

Life goes on :) and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

~Nicki

Before I start...

Reading the last book of Fifty Shades of Grey... LOL I should actually make a post...

First off.. I haven't even had a chance to miss Danny i've been soooo busy!! I only really miss him at night when its time for bed.. Which hasn't been occurring till around 1 am because I'm hooked on these books...Which in turn is a horrible thing.. because I'm HORNY as all get out.. To put it bluntly. Lets see...I'll start from the first day 8/27.. and give you the turn of events LOL.

-The Ride home from the airport sucked, then had to take Rocky to class that evening.

- Tuesday I didn't want to do anything.. So I didn't I just moped.

-Wed was more of the same thing..

- Thursday I don't remember...

-Friday was hectic.. I didn't want to go to work cause mom and dad were coming down to start floor.

- The shower was a giganto mess when dad when to re support the wall.. that took ALL DAY. Danny never said good night.. I Freak out.

- Saturday.. Danny Finally calls.. his phone DIED.. Nice huh? Only us! Didn't want to go to work either.started on the tile... When I got home @ 1030 ish mom was still tiling.. we were up till 12:30.. HOLY CRAP

-Sunday .. finished tiling NEVER EVER AGAIN. But it's beautiful

-Monday.. We clean house.. omg it never felt so good to get rid of crap Dusting our bedroom took.. Um forever.. I hate it.. have I mentioned that? I take mom home.. and I about shit my pants when I walked into the house.. out of the corner of my eye on the fence is a TARANTULA. HOLY SHIT. Instantly I call Danny.. Hyperventilating..No shit ya'll.  He wants me to kill it with a bat.. I CANNOT DO SUCH A THING.. ( I wanted to opt for the Shot gun) The crunch and squish alone would be enough to make me pass out.. I finally get to take the boys out.. I turn too look at door and the mother fucker it back (thought it went over fence) I about died. Thank GOD my bug spray was in hand.. I spray it.. and it comes at ME OMG FREAK OUT. I think i'm spraying the fucker and it runs under where Rocky has been digging.. I grab a long stick and bury it.. ( I hope) I cannot fall asleep till way late..  NEVER EVER again.. In the 6 yrs we've been here never seen one around the house.. Me and little, or GIANT Spiders are not a pretty sight.. Big blubbering hyperventilating mess.. Can you tell I have  Arachnophobia?

-Tuesday.. after my terrifying experience... I do not go out of the house with out bug spray. Praying that it does not come back...

-Wed was uneventful tried cleaning up some more... dishes etc. Finally get a chance to wipe down tiles again.

-Thursday was boring.. but my book is way to addicting.. Already on the 2nd one by now LOL

- Friday.. Kayla is coming Saturday... I had to run to the store and then come vacuum.. MELTDOWN. There is a giant .. GIANT screw in my BRAND NEW Dyson. I think I finally realized that Danny wasn't here to help me :/ That was the Day that sucked. Nothing went right.. everyone at work was rude or stupid.. OMG.. it just wouldn't end. Dnany went to his class party.. and got drunk.. I was not happy.. I was in the middle of texting him and then responses just stopped.. I called 6 times.. and started FREAKING  OUT. Got his mom to call not even 2 min later he's calling to say he's sorry.. >:|

- Saturday- I work and early shift and the day goes by fast. Still mad at Danny.. Get off go get pizza and found Danny has sent me a card.. how sweet <3 bed="bed" enjoy="enjoy" her="her" i="i" kayla..="kayla.." late..="late.." miss="miss" nbsp="nbsp" p="p" time="time" with="with">
-Sunday mom comes to help with painting bathroom.. pretty uneventful and I LOVE the color!! Still needs a 2nd coat tho.. and need to seal the grout... The evening was spent with April and Chloe :)

-Monday was hectic! Started with tomatoes for salsa.. didn't wake up till late to begin with.. So barely get those done! Sue came and got bakers rack! Hit the store.. had my first meal of the day @ 1pm..! Get back.. finish tomatoes put them in fridge and get Rocky ready to go to class.. OI! Get back and go to  wally.. Boo.. Then realize I haven't even done laundry.. *SOB* But did go to bed at 1130.

- Today.. Work highly  uneventful and completely have Danny thinking I can't go pick him up on Saturday ;) I got a personal day.. he thinks my mom is going to get him.. Teehee!!  SO EXCITED!

Sorry for the long drawn out post.. but its my blog :P I'm going to go start the last book now.. and go to bed! Cause i'm pooped! Its been good being busy and not missing Danny too much.. But I do.. Just not the mopey I miss you! And If i'm ever in a sex rut.. just read Fifty Shades of Grey.. Oh my.

~Nicki

Too much.

Is going thru my head to make a conductive blog post.. Danny is gone for 3 weeks.. we are 3 .. at the end of today 4 days down.. Ugh.. I miss him and he misses me :( we haven't ever really been apart. So this is harder than I thought it was gonna be.

And my mind went blank.. hopefully this weekend I can get a decent post in here.. LOL

~Nicki