I hate.. I know its Easter and I shouldn't be sad that I don't have kids or any one to celebrate with. But I can't help but be.. I wish I had a little one to explain why we celebrate Good Friday and Easter, to watch the joy on their face while they hunt eggs and see what the Easter Bunny brought them.. and dress up in our Sunday best.
I fear I will never know those days.. I've almost come to terms.. I'm not to have kids in this time of my life. Which really hurts.. All I want is one child to love. I'm not a horrible person.. I work for everything I own, and I may not have the richest bank account ever... but I have what I need and can provide. Danny the same. I just don't understand... I wish something could make me understand.
It's Rocky's 1st birthday today.. Can't imagine life with out him. Any of my furbabies for that matter.
The weather is always nice on Days I work and crappy on days I don't work.. except today.. but I can't find to bring myself outside...Need to get the garden up and going but of course the tiller we got from Jeff.. isn't working. Thinking of taking Wed off.. even tho its supposed to Snow tomorrow. Hope it just rains. I don't like working outside by myself.. Hardly seen Danny lately due to different schedules and such, he has Wed, Thursday this week.
Also.. apparently while ovulating. supposedly anyways... I hold almost 4 lbs of water weight.. UGH.I was so frustrated to say the least! But Its all gone now plus almost 2 more lbs. So down almost 8! Happy with that.. sucks that I only can do one month of it!
Well gotta go eat something, April wants me to come over in a little bit :)
~Nicki
Zombie Cici Day, and other Fall things
2 years ago
1 comment:
I remember the desperation and remember sharing those same fears and feelings. I will pray for you, and I don't have the best advice...just hang in there.
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