Days like these...

I hate.. I know its Easter and I shouldn't be sad that I don't have kids or any one to celebrate with. But I can't help but be.. I wish I had a little one to explain why we celebrate Good Friday and Easter, to watch the joy on their face while they hunt eggs and see what the Easter Bunny brought them.. and dress up in our Sunday best.

I fear I will never know those days.. I've almost come to terms.. I'm not to have kids in this time of my life. Which really hurts.. All I want is one child to love. I'm not a horrible person.. I work for everything I own, and I may not have the richest bank account ever... but I have what I need and can provide. Danny the same. I just don't understand... I wish something could make me understand.

It's Rocky's 1st birthday today.. Can't imagine life with out him. Any of my furbabies for that matter.

The weather is always nice on Days I work and crappy on days I don't work.. except today.. but I can't find to bring myself outside...Need to get the garden up and going but of course the tiller we got from Jeff.. isn't working. Thinking of taking Wed off.. even tho its supposed to Snow tomorrow. Hope it just rains. I don't like working outside by myself.. Hardly seen Danny lately due to different schedules and such, he has Wed, Thursday this week.

Also.. apparently while ovulating. supposedly anyways... I hold almost 4 lbs of water weight.. UGH.I was so frustrated to say the least! But Its all gone now plus almost 2 more lbs. So down almost 8! Happy with that.. sucks that I only can do one month of it!

Well gotta go eat something, April wants me to come over in a little bit :)

~Nicki

Nutrisystem and other things

No I am not being paid by Nutrisystem to say anything about their product!

I started last Tuesday with what my mom gave me.. and then decided hey this isn't bad and doesn't taste horrible! So I think I decided on Wed I would like to order it for my self since they were running a free shipping and 40% off :). We got a pretty good MyShare bonus this time so I paid for it with that!  I can't wait for it to come it.. Should be here tomorrow!! I've lost 4.2 lbs in almost a week :)!! Excited to see how much I loose in a month!! I did cheat some yesterday but not overboard.. got to every once in a while!

Also.. if you knew me in real life.. you know I haven't gone more than a day without soda.. Now I don't go overboard.. like drinking big gulps of the stuff.. I drink at least one soda a day.. Maybe 2! But I have gone 5 days with out drinking it.. Now I rely on my 1 coffee a day LOL which I didn't even have today!

So in other words I'm pretty excited!

I'm itching to get outside more and get the garden going.. of course the weather has to be a butthead and not cooperate.  We did tame the grape vine the other day before we had to go to work.

Finally got the 3rd season of the Tudors :) exciting. Watching the first episode before I start vacuuming the house.. Lets not even go there LOL.

I'm sure there is more to say but I'm distracted and need to get this house cleaned.

~Nicki

Rough times...

Just wanted to let you all know who ever reads this :) I'm still here.. Most of Feb and March have been rough. This whole baby thing has gotten me really depressed and angry.. as well as my weight.. I'm stuck and cannot get out of the mud.

My mom gave me  a week worth of Nutrisystem Sucess.. So we will see how that goes and I might order a month worth myself.. So far the food actually isn't bad! The Chocolate Chocolate chip muffin I had for breakfast was pretty darn tasty. I had my first egg since November (when I was stimming) and cross your fingers so far so good.

Its been pretty hectic around here.. redoing another bath, trying to keep my house..from um falling to shambles.. right now it looks like dog hair, paper and clothes explosion. Don't judge. Depression makes you not wanna do squat.

Got outta the house yesterday and drove to Nebraska LOL went to Cabelas and spent money.. that we actually had it was pretty awesome LOL. We went with Mike and April :) Pretty good day.

We went from no money 8 days ago for Disney to almost 200!  Pretty sweet :) also got our tickets and meal plan yay!

I cannot wait for the warmer weather so I can start sprucing up my yard and flowerbeds. Its supposed to be 77 on Friday..

I have way more to say but am out of time! Hope to update SOON when I find some motivation and time!

~Nicki