Can I go hide in a hole??

So since we got back everything has just gone down hill.. Danny works for Department of Justice.. which is part of the federal government.. So that means NO paycheck for us! Which really blows.. it comes at a rough time of year... we're just scraping by.. and then this whole baby boom..is just depressing. I just can't handle this anymore...

I'm over trying for a baby.. last month we had sex alot even on my fertile days and NOTHING... It just SUCKS.  Everyone else is getting pregnant and moving on and having more babies.. Just found or April is preggers with number 2.

This road just seems like its getting harder and harder, and uphill climb and were no where near the end.  We can't even start trying again because of the no money thing.. nothing in savings.. bad shape.. and its only going to get worse before it gets better. I just can't put it into words how frustrated I am and how I hurt..

I hurt all the time.. every time I see a baby and just wish I could have just one.. and give it my unconditional love.. I want to adopt so bad but we have no money to do that either..  I wish something would happen for the good.. we have been ready to be parents for over 5 years.. and in that 5 years we have barely had a glimmer of hope.. 1 positive pregnancy test and 1 miscarriage all in the same week.. I honestly don't know what we have done to deserve this.. I just wish I knew so we could change it..


~Nicki

Day 6!!

This was the day we did Magic Kingdom ALL day! I kinda wish we would have done a little more.. but I had a goal.. Eat at Be Our Guest, the new restaurant in  New Fantasy land! Which we did.. both Lunch AND Dinner!! We did ride all the rides we wanted to ride :) Should have rode Splash Mountain twice haha!

 Walking in we got to meet Marie! So cute! She wanted to eat my ears ;)

 I don't think this magical view will ever get old.. I love it!

 Still have to relook at the pictures the photo pass people took and the ones they took on our camera! 

 On the Carousel! Always fun!

 This is the entrance to the Be Our Guest Restaurant we got there around 10 ish and were told to get in line for lunch :) We took pictures first! They let us look around a bit inside 

 It looks JUST like the movie.. it was amazing.

 We didn't stray far :) Potty break.. and then Gaston showed up! He was SO in Character.. it was hilarious! 

 Lunch.. was delish!! I want that sandwich again.. It was a hot turkey sandwich on yummy garlic bread .. just thinking of it is mouth watering!

 I gave in to Danny wanting to ride Dumbo.. LOL

 This was after Dinner, he was our 'Host' For dinner there of course!! Came barging out haha! After we ate we could meet The Beast! We literally waited about  1 1/2 hrs.. to see if we could get in because they put out the cancellation list at around 3:45.. Low and behold they got us in!! I was so excited! But kinda bummed we had to just sit.. for fear of someone getting there first! It was worth it, wish we could have put our name on a list! Looking back.. I just wish we would have walked around more :/

 I want this blown up and Framed.. Danny took this... it is my fave.

 This is the best Disney Parade EVER!

One last kiss in the Magic Kingdom! 

We had so much fun and instantly decided we wanted to go back next year!! But then.. this happened.. Obama lama ding dong went and shut down the government because of his stupid health care... SO Danny isn't receiving a pay check at the moment.. he will get 8 days worth on this next check and don't know when the next one will come.. we have delayed our Security loan, car loan and are getting paper for the house.. everything else.. is pretty much on me.. Talk about super stress!! So we will see what happens.. we still want to go.. but Christmas may not happen as of now we wait and see! 

~Nicki 

Days 5

Good lord.. Life right now feels like kinda a whirl wind.. Its going by to fast and at the same time it feels like nothing is happening. Anyways.. Sad news at the end.

Day 5 we went to Epcot! It was defiantly our most relaxing day! We slept in.. the World showcase doesn't open till 11 am.. so we got their around 9ish.. we just walked ;) Once we got there we walked to the front of the park and got our pic in front of the ball and did some of the rides such as Nemo and Friends Under the Seas :) Which used to be called the living seas!

The coolest thing we did in Epcot was in Japan.. I got to pick and oyster and they opened it to reveal a pearl!! It was so cool :) I had it put in a necklace! ( I started writing this a few days ago and got side tracked and now i'm super sleepy!)

This was such a fun ride! Every time i've been since it opened it was always closed due to the weather! First time on it! 

Nemo! The Seagulls made my day lol! They go Mine.. Mine Mine Mine!

 Fun in Mexico ;) It about swallowed me haha

 Gotta meet Donald Duck!

 Across the lake :)

 The oyster I picked was right in the middle laying on top of the other! 

 I was so excited!! I got a 7mm greenish/blue pearl :)!!

 I must have been super hot cause my face is all red! No one knew who she was!! Princess Aurora of course!

This was the Coral Reef restaurant I had the best lobster pasta ever! We actually missed our reservations for this one..I was so upset cause I figured we wouldn't have gotten in.. But the lady was so nice.. we had to wait a bit but it was so worth it! We were supposed to be there at 4:20, Danny never rechecked so we thought it was 6:20.. but it worked out! 

The fireworks were an awesome show! We talked with this older couple until the started as people tried to push their way into our spots!! After dinner we found a spot on the bridge over between the UK and France :) Great spot!!  After that we walked over and did Soarin' and went back to the hotel.. We were pooped LOL! Didn't think we could walk anymore, but still had one more day!!

Since there alot of pictures in this post.. I'll make the last one and post later :)