What to say?

Well a friendship that i've had since being a freshman in HS.. that was in 2000. Has ended. At first I was hurt  as to how it happened then the events after the fact, made me angry to where I didn't care anymore. This person is Stacey.. who is my Godson's Gideon's mom. So I'm going to take a wild guess she doesn't think of me as such anymore.. But as far as I'm concerned you can't just revoke that title.


Basically I had a conversation with one of her 'so called friends' over some frustrations and anger that I was experiencing at the time about Stacey, that I eventually planned on talking to her about.. IN PERSON. But this girl took it upon her self to show her these conversations over her phone because she thinks being vindictive and having archived messages is the greatest thing ever for ruining lives.

 I hadn't a clue that this was happening.. But where is it HER prerogative tho show her those conversations? I don't know how they expected me to know what they were talking about and then expect me to apologize?  So instead of Stacey coming to ME and talking to ME about the problem she chose to believe everything Sam showed her without asking what really was going on. I don't think that is a very mature friendship.

I will admit some of the things I said was uncalled for.. but I was upset and frustrated.. At least for me.. If you are always complaining  you have no money.. but you go out and buy a $250 puppy? I think you should rethink what is going on. Not to mention if you think living in the country is a piece of cake.. when you wanted to get AWAY from the snow and move to Louisiana? Yeah.. Winter storms out there are FAR worse than where you were at to being with. But I can't tell you or give you any advice when you are too stubborn to receive it, she always did the opposite.

I am not a friend who will tell you how to live your life or raise your children. It is non of my business.. Am I wrong for thinking this way? If I have a major problem with something or someone.. trust me.. I will let you know. But if its minor  little things.. That eventually will blow over and you will realize what you did, then why should I mention anything about it? I guess my way of dealing with issues and problems aren't the same as everyone else's.

Her so called friend had the audacity to message me back before Stacey did either time. Saying things like i prevent her from having any female friends? Or that all I care about is my pride? Sorry sweetheart.. Far from that.. My friends are my world, instead of you saying ' Stacey I don't want to tell you what was said, you should ask Nicki' But instead you went behind my back and expected me to realize that all this was being said? Massive BS. So after a month of being ignored by you both I tried to figure out what was going on and everything blew up in my face.

I don't have to prove anything to anyone.. If no one wants to accept my apology then I'm over it.  It is not worth my time when someone wants to be so vindictive and immature, it sounds like someone OTHER than me doesn't want to her to have any friends. I have all the love, family and friends I need. I'm sure i'll make new ones along the way, but I sure as hell won't divulge any information even if I just need someone as neutral party. Learned my lesson on that one. My family and friends know i'm a good honest person and wouldn't have me any other way :) And that's the way I like it. I don't need to be fake, bitchy or anything like that to get my friends to like me.

It sucks, but it obviously wasn't a friendship that was meant to be lifelong. If she wants to talk somewhere down the line.. I'll talk but I don't think another friendship will ever come out of it.

Hopefully that wasn't all over the place and who ever reads it gets the gist :) But its my blog and I feel so much better getting this off my chest! I'm sure there was more I wanted to put in it.. Like horrible bad words LOL but I won't sink down to her level.. plus she didn't even get 2 words from me.. It wasn't a conversation between me and her but she tried to make it.

Life goes on :) and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

~Nicki

Before I start...

Reading the last book of Fifty Shades of Grey... LOL I should actually make a post...

First off.. I haven't even had a chance to miss Danny i've been soooo busy!! I only really miss him at night when its time for bed.. Which hasn't been occurring till around 1 am because I'm hooked on these books...Which in turn is a horrible thing.. because I'm HORNY as all get out.. To put it bluntly. Lets see...I'll start from the first day 8/27.. and give you the turn of events LOL.

-The Ride home from the airport sucked, then had to take Rocky to class that evening.

- Tuesday I didn't want to do anything.. So I didn't I just moped.

-Wed was more of the same thing..

- Thursday I don't remember...

-Friday was hectic.. I didn't want to go to work cause mom and dad were coming down to start floor.

- The shower was a giganto mess when dad when to re support the wall.. that took ALL DAY. Danny never said good night.. I Freak out.

- Saturday.. Danny Finally calls.. his phone DIED.. Nice huh? Only us! Didn't want to go to work either.started on the tile... When I got home @ 1030 ish mom was still tiling.. we were up till 12:30.. HOLY CRAP

-Sunday .. finished tiling NEVER EVER AGAIN. But it's beautiful

-Monday.. We clean house.. omg it never felt so good to get rid of crap Dusting our bedroom took.. Um forever.. I hate it.. have I mentioned that? I take mom home.. and I about shit my pants when I walked into the house.. out of the corner of my eye on the fence is a TARANTULA. HOLY SHIT. Instantly I call Danny.. Hyperventilating..No shit ya'll.  He wants me to kill it with a bat.. I CANNOT DO SUCH A THING.. ( I wanted to opt for the Shot gun) The crunch and squish alone would be enough to make me pass out.. I finally get to take the boys out.. I turn too look at door and the mother fucker it back (thought it went over fence) I about died. Thank GOD my bug spray was in hand.. I spray it.. and it comes at ME OMG FREAK OUT. I think i'm spraying the fucker and it runs under where Rocky has been digging.. I grab a long stick and bury it.. ( I hope) I cannot fall asleep till way late..  NEVER EVER again.. In the 6 yrs we've been here never seen one around the house.. Me and little, or GIANT Spiders are not a pretty sight.. Big blubbering hyperventilating mess.. Can you tell I have  Arachnophobia?

-Tuesday.. after my terrifying experience... I do not go out of the house with out bug spray. Praying that it does not come back...

-Wed was uneventful tried cleaning up some more... dishes etc. Finally get a chance to wipe down tiles again.

-Thursday was boring.. but my book is way to addicting.. Already on the 2nd one by now LOL

- Friday.. Kayla is coming Saturday... I had to run to the store and then come vacuum.. MELTDOWN. There is a giant .. GIANT screw in my BRAND NEW Dyson. I think I finally realized that Danny wasn't here to help me :/ That was the Day that sucked. Nothing went right.. everyone at work was rude or stupid.. OMG.. it just wouldn't end. Dnany went to his class party.. and got drunk.. I was not happy.. I was in the middle of texting him and then responses just stopped.. I called 6 times.. and started FREAKING  OUT. Got his mom to call not even 2 min later he's calling to say he's sorry.. >:|

- Saturday- I work and early shift and the day goes by fast. Still mad at Danny.. Get off go get pizza and found Danny has sent me a card.. how sweet <3 bed="bed" enjoy="enjoy" her="her" i="i" kayla..="kayla.." late..="late.." miss="miss" nbsp="nbsp" p="p" time="time" with="with">
-Sunday mom comes to help with painting bathroom.. pretty uneventful and I LOVE the color!! Still needs a 2nd coat tho.. and need to seal the grout... The evening was spent with April and Chloe :)

-Monday was hectic! Started with tomatoes for salsa.. didn't wake up till late to begin with.. So barely get those done! Sue came and got bakers rack! Hit the store.. had my first meal of the day @ 1pm..! Get back.. finish tomatoes put them in fridge and get Rocky ready to go to class.. OI! Get back and go to  wally.. Boo.. Then realize I haven't even done laundry.. *SOB* But did go to bed at 1130.

- Today.. Work highly  uneventful and completely have Danny thinking I can't go pick him up on Saturday ;) I got a personal day.. he thinks my mom is going to get him.. Teehee!!  SO EXCITED!

Sorry for the long drawn out post.. but its my blog :P I'm going to go start the last book now.. and go to bed! Cause i'm pooped! Its been good being busy and not missing Danny too much.. But I do.. Just not the mopey I miss you! And If i'm ever in a sex rut.. just read Fifty Shades of Grey.. Oh my.

~Nicki