Don't know what is wrong..

I'm at a weird place right now.. I just feel weird... Danny got his Pera check yesterday.. $32,000 and some change. I can't believe it actually got here that fast and was more than we expected. I should be happy knowing that we will be saving over 900 dollars a month.. NOT paying debt... But I find my self stressed?? We are getting me a new car.. exactly what I want.. ordered from the factory no miles except what I put on it.. Crazy. I'm getting the Ford Edge. But at the same time I feel bad because I shouldn't be doing this..we should relish in having extra money a month.. We still will but.. you know.. we've never had over 600 sitting in the bank at one time... for over a week.. its weird.. to not be freaking out about money going 'Oh we only have 30 bucks to last us 2 weeks till I get pd'

   Yeah.. we went and bought our tile for the floor and the 180 bucks didn't break the bank. Because we still have money in their.. WEIRD. After living this way for almost 7 years.. its just plain WEIRD. Tomorrow we are getting up early.. depositing the check.. going to Pueblo to pay off One main and our Debt consolidation loan.. That in itself is almost 600 dollars a month in savings..  How on earth did we get there?  Crazy to think that we will only have one maybe 2  bills left after we pay off everything and get rid of my car. Of course we will still have house, cars and insurance and normal utility bills. I'm just in shock.. We can actually save up for things and do what we would like to do.. have a decent Christmas and actually AFFORD a Baby. Now.. we just need one.. That is something else we will be doing when he gets back from Georgia.


I honestly think... we are going thru the 7 year itch.. I mean I don't want to leave.. but we just need to rekindle what we had.. I feel as if we are on repeat nothing exciting ever happens.. romance is like.. NIL we need to get away even for just a weekend. But that won't be happening anytime soon. He goes back to Monday Tuesday off so we only have Mondays together.. I wish I knew stuff to make us feel like us again.. I just don't know where to start. Maybe getting my house out of a state of shambles will help.. OMG I'm going to go insane. Our bedroom looks like  a war zone.. I'll leave it at that.

Danny asked me last night if there is anything I WANT with the money besides a car.. I couldn't think of anything last night.. except he should know.. I really want a Dyson.. How lame is that ... I can choose anything and I pick a vacuum..?! A vacuum for pete's sake!!! I should have said a puppy LMAO.. Yeah thats asking for stress x1000 J/K Not for another few years hahahah

Now that I threw my self in to an anxiety attack.. and that this post is ALL OVER the place (sorry) I need to go vacuum.. and dust.. BADLY.

~Nicki