Ahh!

So we will be doing the first part of our Homestudy TOMORROW. GAH! And the finally out of no where were getting some where! Now i'm all nervous and such, hoping I have everything to get started... Which I'm sure I do.. ordered a few things, that I think I need LOL which I'm sure not all of them I do.. Lets see

-Receiving blankets ( the price for some of this stuff.. like 2 blankets.. for 31 dollars WTF?)
-Bottles I went with Playtex ventaire.. Avent I kept reading had tons of leaking issues. But got a set so multiple sizes!
-Bottle drying rack
-Play mat :) bought a little Einstein one can be for either sex and was one of the only ones I like had lots to take on and off :)
-Health and safety kit
-Nose sucker that you can actually clean! I've seen the insides of the bulb ones after the get cut open.. yuck. So this is a bulb but screws open and closed for easy cleaning!

That was on Amazon ( its evil :) )

I also used the $100 gift card my brother got us for Christmas since it was just sitting around..I don't shop there much!

I got a few more outfits in sizes I don't have ( Major clearance woo!) 3 girl outfits and 3 boy outfits, boppy pillow and 3 toys ! All for under 100 bucks cause I'm loving sale stuff lately!

This weekend I took all the tags and washed all the clothes i've accumulated over the last 6 years.. it was little sad..but happy at the same time.. hoping to get to see a little one in them soon :)!

The house hunt.. is well the house hunt.. Ugh.. Seriously every house I like.. literally goes under contract the night before or 30 min after we look at it.. Like.. Not kidding.. Good thing we have one lined up.. Possibly! Its not on the market! They work with an investor so he would fix some stuff and we would get first dibs!! Crossing my fingers on that one! Well off to go water the garden since its not going to rain..

~Nicki

A rough go...

Lately I have been struggling with infertility lately.. its really biting at me to start trying again. We just never have the stupid money to try.. I'm thinking of switching insurance.. to see if there is better coverage out there. I also want a second opinion.. I really love my RE and the nurse staff.. they are so nice.. its been over a year since we did any sort of treatment.. we did one IUI after the failed IVF. It was of course a no go.. and then we just stopped.. we haven't even TRIED to get preggo.. and still nada.

We are just almost a week away from out 7 year anniversary.. It seems soo crazy that we have been married almost 7 years.. it seems like we are in a rut.. its been just us 2 for 8 years... we have gained one furbaby that hasn't been with us since we have been together.. all of my other animals are 7 or older.. I really want to share the feeling of family with him.. our own little family. After finishing the nursery all I can think about is how I want no one else but our baby in that nursery.. I'm sure I will feel differently when we get a placement.. if that ever happens. But right now.. with it empty that is how I feel.

I'm feeling lost.. I don't know what direction to go... do I get a second opinion now.. or just wait and let my ovaries get older and unused?? I want nothing more that to carry just ONE child.. Just one. Its all I want and nothing more.. I guess its too much to ask of anyone..

I really feel that something is wrong.. and which is why I feel strongly about a 2nd opinion.. Maybe I just need to go for it?? I'm loosing hair again.. not as bad but its noticeable.. I'm all of a sudden having a psoriasis break out, totally out of the blue they just started appearing.

The house hunt is no where near over.. we've had 3 people look at it.. no offers.. we have one tomorrow.. we think we have found our house.. but the bedroom size is the only thing that bugs me, everything else is perfect. Of Course. It is not on the market our realtor works with a couple of investors and one bought that house.. so he would fix what we wanted fix new carpet, paint etc. and of course what we want done.. and in our budget.. Both have been out of town and we haven't heard anything yet.. maybe tomorrow. I guess I should go clean for tomorrow and catch up on some shows!

~Nicki